To be sick of person at work who won't stop talking in meetings?

[SpreadableCheeseOnEverything]

Said colleague is pleasant and harmless enough but is very very loud and talks constantly.

In team meetings, which we have on a daily basis, the colleague dominates the meeting and it literally is not possible to get a word in edgeways.

I have spoken to our manager, who is also in the meetings and he said to just jump in and speak as soon as the colleague has finished talking. Only problem with this is, if anyone else speaks then the colleague will start talking at the same time, and being louder will just dominate again.

It is not all work related chat, mostly just inane drivel.

The manager needs to take this on board rather than telling you to talk over them. You shouldn’t have to waste your time at work listening to drivel.

It sounds tough do you think they realise they’re doing it and do it anyway or do you think they’re oblivious? I wonder if there’s subtle ways you could point it out

He knows he does it but doesn't care

Your manager should absolutely be controlling this. Are you confident enough to directly say "you've had your say, now can you not interrupt and talk over me?".

The person chairing the meeting needs to manage the meeting and keep things on topic.
That's their job and not doing it is passing the buck, probably because the over-talker is likely to be a pain in the ass if challenged.

I’m getting irritated just reading about this loud mouth

Your manager is incredibly poor at managing.

@Ponoka7 I've tried to say similar but he just carries on talking

A man on my team does this, all the freaking time. I've started using the raise hand option in teams meetings, as it makes him look even ruder if he continues to talk when it shows I'm waiting. It seems to be working so far. My high point was our department manager commenting on how it was polite of me to do so, and that is seemed I had no choice if i wanted to get a word in!!! 😂

Ha! Sounds exactly like one of my former colleagues, and exactly like one of my former managers. Nice people, but meetings could be a chore. There were a couple of occasions where I ended up doing to the colleague what they did to everyone else. When I had a point to make and they started to shout over me, I just spoke louder and louder over them as if they weren't speaking and kept going until they gave up and I'd finished what I had to say. They were surprised, because I am not loud by nature, but didn't seem offended. I don't know whether the penny dropped that that's what they were doing to other people, or whether they just didn't see interrupting and talking over people as rude.

Could you draft an agenda with time limits for each item/speaker?

Are these meetings in person or on zoom? I'd be doing other tasks while he drones on.

A colleague I work with also does this! She monologues and talks over people. She was given diplomatic and honest feedback on this as part of a training course at work, laughed and said she expected it. She still carries on the same, dragging out meetings by repeating her points over and over.

”I wasn’t finished” - not “I’m sorry I wasn’t finished”, hard to do the first 10 times but after that they either shut up or you don’t care about appearing rude.
if it’s just mindless gibber jabber after the business of the meeting is done (my personal hate) I just say that if we’re all done I have work to do. It’s rude as hell but if your manager won’t manage there’s no other choice.

It’s normal. All meetings have the over-talkers, the perpetual-moaners, the disengaged, the time-wasting-tea-and-cake-dispensers, the comedians, the ones whose answer to everything is to suggest a new spreadsheet, the anecdotalists ………

Accept that the meeting will be tiresome and unproductive. Only speak when absolutely essential in order to not prolong proceedings.

Exert influence one-to-one away from the meeting.

I find the most effective way is to counter someone like this if your manager isn't is to tag team with others (does mean it has to be significant enough to annoy other attendees, not just you). So when rude colleague talks over someone you don't leave them to defend themselves, you step in and ask rude colleague to let the other person speak. Your ally can do the same. And if rude colleague continues you raise your voice and tell him to stop as you want to hear what the other person has to say, that it's really rude to talk over someone else, etc. And if he talks over you, your ally stands up for you. The more allies you have on board, the better. You can be much more directly critical about him if it's in defense of someone else rather than yourself.

What is the person chairing the meeting doing while this drivel is going on? Parameters need to be set by the chair, it's wasting everyone's time if off-topic droning is happening.

Your manager isn't doing their job. Can you work out more about the type of person?

You say that they are harmless but are they really? I've worked with dominant people who take over meetings and let no-one else talk. They are doing it to assert their dominance and show that they are managerial material.

Or are they just bored and wittering on at everything someone says. I have someone like this on my team. It's like bloody word association. Someone mentions something and they immediately start banging on with their own comment/anecdote completely unrelated to the meeting.

At a meeting I attend, most people give a 1-2 minute status update. However, every week without fail the same 2 people talk for 20 minutes each. Absolutely tone deaf to the impact they are having. Both are what I'd call fucking bores. Just content to listen to their own voice. The chair is not competent and does nothing.

If you can understand more about the type of person, you can maybe figure out how to deal with them.

Dominant people - talk over them. Put your hand up. Tell them they've dominated the meeting enough. Stand up at the front when it's your turn. Draw on a white board or use slides if you need to. It gives you more gravitas and they won't be able to heckle from the audience as easily.

Anecdote hell - let them speak for about 3 seconds, then say in a friendly joking way - that's not relevant to this meeting. Can you tell us about that in the coffee break.

Fucking bores - I have no idea how to get them to stop if the chair doesn't intervene! One thing you can guarantee though - you have 20 minutes when listening is optional. They're not going to say anything of value. Let them drone on while you switch your brain to something better.

Is this a virtual or a in person meeting?

Are these on line or in person meetings?

Some companies have standing meetings, to keep them short!

Agree the chair of the meeting should take more control.

What a wanker!

Use things like:

"Are you being intentionally rude?"
"Did you mean to be so rude?"
"Why are you shouting over others? We let you talk, now it's someone else's turn."
"X, you are being really rude. I/Y is talking now. You'll get you turn in a moment."
"X, I cannot follow the conversation when you are yelling over others while they are speaking. Stop it. It is so rude and counter productive."
"X, I did not ask you for your input. Be quiet until it is your turn to talk."

I'd also escalate this as it is a form of bullying. He trying to control the room and is getting away with it because of a weak manager.

Especially if it is woman he is doing this to. I'd highlight that point.

How long is the meeting? If you are told that the meeting will be for 30 minutes (say), schedule yourself in for another thing at the time it is meant to finish. Then, stand up and say that, unfortunately, you need to leave on time.

Do this repeatedly. If asked about it, say that you need to get on with your work and can’t spare more time for internal meetings that run over.

What is the purpose of the meeting? Can you suggest that terms of reference are agreed? Can you table an item called 'meetings etiquette' and suggest the group collectively sets ground rules?

We had a chronic loudmouthed bore like this at a previoud workplace. Just like you describe, we tried all kinds of things - diverting the conversation, interrupting, going in to meetings and get togethers with strict time limits and agenda, having a chair for each meeting to try to control the conversation and move it along, actively asking others for their views or stories etc etc. There were some mild successes but nothing really changed. So in the end, we gave up and gave him the floor. Every meeting he trumpeted on, everyone stayed absolutely quiet, worked on their laptops, checked their phones, etc. It took a good many sessions but it eventually struck him that no one was engaging with his shouting and monologue. Thats when we were able to finally get a word in. Had to persevere for a while as for the first few sessions we started engaging again, he thought it was business as usual and tried to dominate and take over again. It was like training a puppy, we just reset to step 1 until he got it. To his credit he never seemed to hold it against anyone or get upset or angry. I just think no one had ever shown him that he wasnt the main character. We held side meetings where we managed to discuss the things we needed to, added our points to the meeting minutes of the formal meeting, which were basically just all his points, and then circulated to all as action points. I think it showed him that he was being sidelined and that there were far more advantages to working collaboratively and allowing people equal say, that steamrolling over everyone.

Can you request an agenda for meetings.
Also offer to minute for next meeting, include everything said and circulate to everyone, add a 'comments' section.