Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel my return to work days before?

15 replies

popsiee · 13/04/2023 22:29

So some context!
I wasn't going to return to work after Mat leave but my manager offered me an all singing all dancing role. Gave me everything I asked for etc... made it hard for me to say no. In my heart of hearts I knew I didn't want to return to my soul sucking job. So I said yes. That was months ago. Since then, she has changed my terms month by month. Taking away most of the desirable features I was returning for (pick my own hours, increased pay and can now only offer me a temp contract).

This obviously upset me but I had already organised everything to go back so I felt like I was already in too deep. I'm due back TUESDAY. I've completely had a change of heart. I can't do it, the job isn't a financial lifesaver and I can get by without it. I should have told her earlier but I genuinely thought I was going back. And she didn't care when she was changing all of my terms, right? It's in a niche industry and I'm probably trumping my chances of ever returning but I don't WANT to return to it. I want a career change.

I haven't even signed my contract yet, was planning on doing it with her first day back.

So AIBU to contact her and tell her I'm unfortunately not returning? Days before? I'm such a people pleaser so this feels so wrong.

Or do I go back and quit? Either option she will hate me for! Why do I care? Help...

OP posts:
GeekyThings · 13/04/2023 22:31

Depends upon your notice, I guess - most places want at least a week's notice, so I don't think you can just tell her you're leaving and not turn up. Not unless you've accrued enough holidays to cover it.

Original poster
popsiee · 13/04/2023 22:50

I had told her I was planning on not coming back before this job offer. There was no problems about this and I was simply just not going to return. But since then we've obviously agreed this new role. But I haven't been presented with a contract yet. I assumed the situation would be the same but now I'm unsure! Ahhh...

What would happen if they wanted notice and I didn't give it? Would it just look gravely unprofessional? Would there be any consequences?

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 13/04/2023 22:55

YANBU. it does sound like they've messed you around with the terms so you are morally within your rights to change your mind.

BungleandGeorge · 13/04/2023 22:58

You usually have to terminate the contract in writing, so just telling your boss wouldn’t be acceptable. Do you have childcare lined up?

NeedMoMoney · 13/04/2023 22:58

Don't give them a second thought! They knew what they were doing! offering you exactly what you wanted, then little by little changing it, they knew you were planning on leaving and would say anything to keep you, did they agree to the terms in an email or over the phone? if they agreed over email then you wouldn't look unprofessional at all as you have proof that that's the terms you originally agreed too, do whatever is best for you!

JudgeRudy · 13/04/2023 22:59

I would just be honest. It might be worth emailing her first with a last paragraph asking her to telephone you to discuss how she would prefer you to hand in your resignation. At least that way you haven't got to come up with an awkward conversation opener, she's ringing you so she opens the conversation. Don't get drawn into lengthy conversations. Also keep saying we as in We've decided, we discussed, we've worked out etc. It will help you feel your representing your family not being harassed by your boss.
She'll be irritated but you've told her as soon as you were clear. It's unfortunate but that doesn't change anything. You're not going back

BungleandGeorge · 13/04/2023 23:04

If you haven’t signed the new contract but also haven’t resigned I’d presume you’re still liable for the notice in your original contract but think you need to get some proper legal advice. If you fail to give notice when you should then they can take you to court for expenses. How much notice were you required to give?

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 13/04/2023 23:12

Surely expecting you to go to a temporary contract, when presumably before your contact was permanent, isn't lawful?

Codlingmoths · 13/04/2023 23:14

are you actually employed? Were you on a contract that finished before you went on leave? Because it would be illegal to offer any kind of permanent employee a temp contract. It sounds to me like you’re not employed at all so no notice needed.

hi x, when we first spoke I was excited about coming back but I have realised you have gradually changed all the terms that meant this job would work- you removed flexi working in sept, increased the hours in nov, made it a temporary contract in December. Upon reflection the job that it now is is not going to work for me. I don’t believe any notice is required since I haven’t yet signed a contract but I thought I should let you know. Please do think of me if you have any jobs which are closer to the original terms of this one.
best,
op

Original poster
popsiee · 13/04/2023 23:27

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's all over the place. My boss doesn't do things by the book (basically does whatever she wants, sometimes works in your favour- sometimes doesn't).
So technically I am still employed by her but I am overdue on my mat leave (an arrangement made when agreeing to the new role- I wanted some more time off)

So I guess I'm still down as an employee but I haven't returned yet and my mat leave year finished a month ago. Nor will I be returning to my old role.

Does that make sense? It's all over the place i know.

So I've dug out my old contract and it's 2 weeks notice, however when I told her I was thinking of leaving she told me I could do so whenever but then offered me this role...

I just can't help think it'll be so much worse if I go back for 2 weeks 😭 so awkward I can't cope. She's nice enough but she's a confrontational figure and honestly I'm a wimp she will bully me bigggg time. The very thought of it is making me want to cry.

She has majorly done one over on me. I was so content with leaving I should've just rejected her offer.

OP posts:
SixPurpleChairs · 13/04/2023 23:29

Just resigned. It all sounds legally dodgy anyhow.

Totalwasteofpaper · 13/04/2023 23:31

Resign.
She cant be trusted and it will all go south anyway

TreeLine23 · 14/04/2023 00:51

Resign and if necessary go sick for the duration of your notice so you don't have to see her.

orangesandlemonsthebellsofstc · 14/04/2023 03:17

Just resign. Keep emotion out of it as best you can and tell her when you agreed to come back it was with the conditions you stipulated and since those are no longer available, you can't take this position. Wish them well in filling the role.

Sorry you are in this position Flowers

chipsandpeas · 14/04/2023 04:09

Hand your resignation in today
if you only have 2 weeks notice is it really worth your while going back? Do you have outstanding holidays you can use in your notice period

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread