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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was out of order (it’s a dog one!)

29 replies

Dammitthisisshit · 13/04/2023 21:11

I’m aware opinions on dogs tend to get quite heated but I couldn’t quite believe the nonchalance of a woman today so am wondering if I’m overreacting.

I was at a beach today with DC. It’s a big beach, low tide so lots of room, gets very busy in high season but pleasantly quiet today. Dogs are allowed on the beach October to April inclusive.

The DC and I have half built a sandcastle and left the spades on top of it as we planned to go back to it but are now preparing to leave as they’re cold. We’re next to it and I’m helping one of the DC to get changed.

A dog comes up. Looks oldish, ambling and friendly. It’s off lead. I’m not particularly bothered as we like dogs and it looks friendly but look up to check the owner is nearby. She is and sees me looking. She half heartedly calls him back. He ignores her. I keep dealing with DC. The dog is sniffing around and eventually stands on the ‘sandcastle’. I look over to the owner again and get eye contact - It’s pretty obvious I’m expecting her to do something. She doesn’t. The dog then cocks his leg and wees on the DCs spades (plastic ends but wooden poles on them that are now covered in dog wee).

Im quite obviously pissed off. The owner calls over, ‘don’t worry it’s OK it’s only wee’. I reply ‘it’s not OK, he’s wee’d on their spades’. She again reiterates that’s it’s ok as it’s only wee. I told her it’s not OK, I’m immunocompromised due to cancer and she shouldn’t have a dog off lead if it has no recall.

To give some context I’m severely immunocompromised. She wouldn’t have known that before I said anything though I have very weird hair as it fell out due to chemotherapy so it’s pretty obvious that I don’t look ‘normal’. But even if she hadn’t sussed that it’s not OK to let your dog wee on someone’s stuff, is it??

YABU - it’s only a bit of wee, germs are everywhere anyway, you’re just paranoid.

YANBU - if you’ve got a dog you shouldn’t be letting them wee on someone stuff.

OP posts:
ChocChipPancake · 13/04/2023 21:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on OP's request.

Puppypower83 · 13/04/2023 21:15

I’m a dog owner and she’s a twat. I’d be mortified if my dog did that. I’ve had dogs amble up and try and piss on our rucksacks before. Boils my blood!

Showmethefood · 13/04/2023 21:15

She was in the wrong. She’s making excuses and trying to justify her poor dog ownership skills (I have a dog too btw). Get your kid to go and wee on her doorstep and see if she’s ok with it because “it’s only a bit bit of wee”

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/04/2023 21:15

YANBU I always keep my dog away from family groups anyway but any dog will wee on a sandcastle given half a chance. She should have called him off.

RandomUsernameHere · 13/04/2023 21:16

YANBU it's absolutely vile to let a dog urinate on someone else's property. As you said, it shouldn't have been off the lead as she had no control over it.

Ponoka7 · 13/04/2023 21:16

She should have called the dog away. Then offered poo bags and wrapped up the spades for you. In terms of bacteria, the sand is more dangerous. But she was still out of order.

bozzabollix · 13/04/2023 21:18

I’ve got three dogs, with small kids I usually call them away anyway. Needs more recall training or at least a lesson on apologies!

Hankunamatata · 13/04/2023 21:19

This drives me insane. Was at the beach and dogs constantly climbing over the kids sandcastle and then one pee on it. None of dogs had good recall. Don't let your dog off the lead if you can't recall it.

CC4712 · 13/04/2023 21:24

The dog and owner need more training! If it was my dog, as a minimum I would have taken the spades to wash them off at a tap, or if not available, then wash them in the sea. Did she just walk off leaving you with urine soaked spades???

PollyPeptide · 13/04/2023 21:29

I'm a dog owner and I love dogs but that's totally not a capable. I'd be horrified if my dog did something like that and be apologising profusely and washing everything for you or offering to buy new. You being immunocompromised has nothing to do with it. It's just awful, irresponsible behaviour no matter who's on the receiving end.

Theunamedcat · 13/04/2023 21:30

Dog came bounding over owner calls out its ok "he's friendly" I pointed to ds and said he isnt RECALL YOUR DOG while ds goes off squealing hissing and lashing out with an umbrella

I love dogs but this behaviour drives me insane ds hates bouncy dogs and a dog on a beach is a no no

PollyPeptide · 13/04/2023 21:33

a dog on a beach is a no no

Why? There are loads of stretches of beach. Why shouldn't dogs be allowed? For some of us that's the only place we have to let our dogs off the lead for a run.

SilverPeacock · 13/04/2023 21:34

I’d be mortified and offering to buy you new ones.

HappiestSleeping · 13/04/2023 21:36

I'm a dog owner and would also be mortified if my dog did this. YANBU.

Buildingthefuture · 13/04/2023 21:37

I’m a huge dog lover and have lots of dogs. She was entirely out of order. Her dog pissed on your property!!! Mine do recall (I know lots don’t!) but if this had happened with one of mine, I’d have been mortified. I would have apologised profusely and offered money for new (piss free!) spades!

liveforsummer · 13/04/2023 21:39

I'm pretty relaxed re germs but no it's not ok. When camping last summer someone's dog cocked its leg and peed on the tub of clean plates and cutlery dd had just washed and placed on the floor beside our tent 😳. We had dogs with us ourselves so not anti dog but that's ridiculous as is your situation

NewMarmalade · 13/04/2023 21:41

The germs are irrelevant. She allowed a dog to approach you, stand on your sandcastle and wee over it. How damn disrespectful. What’s wrong with people??

FawnFrenchieMum · 13/04/2023 21:45

This once happened to me. My dog bolted in a park (he’s never been let off the lead since), he unfortunately ran up to a boy and parents playing near the football goals and then proceeded to pee on their carrier bag at the side of the goals. I was absolutely mortified and couldn’t apologies enough and offered to pay off anything inside the bag replacing. It’s absolutely not right that people would allow it and think nothing of it.

Original poster
Dammitthisisshit · 13/04/2023 21:46

CC4712 · 13/04/2023 21:24

The dog and owner need more training! If it was my dog, as a minimum I would have taken the spades to wash them off at a tap, or if not available, then wash them in the sea. Did she just walk off leaving you with urine soaked spades???

Yes!
To be fair the wee was down the wooden posts and not on the shovel bits, so I could pick them up upside down and we were near somewhere to wash them off… but she could have done that too rather than wander off. And by the time I’d got the DC sorted the wee had soaked into the wood a bit which was just a bit grim.

She was just so nonchalant like it wasn’t a big deal it both made me angry and made me doubt myself at the same time.

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 13/04/2023 21:48

I would lose the plot at that.

Original poster
Dammitthisisshit · 13/04/2023 21:50

FawnFrenchieMum · 13/04/2023 21:45

This once happened to me. My dog bolted in a park (he’s never been let off the lead since), he unfortunately ran up to a boy and parents playing near the football goals and then proceeded to pee on their carrier bag at the side of the goals. I was absolutely mortified and couldn’t apologies enough and offered to pay off anything inside the bag replacing. It’s absolutely not right that people would allow it and think nothing of it.

See, I get that stuff happens. Although I’ve never owned a dog myself I’ve walked with enough friends dogs to know they do sometimes do something they shouldn’t. But you can tell when someone’s trying to get them back/stop them etc. She just wasn’t bothered!

OP posts:
Ktime · 13/04/2023 21:50

She was a twat. Next time I would ask them to remove the dog immediately.

FurAndFeathers · 13/04/2023 21:54

She’s in the wrong but tbh if you’re that severely immunocompromised you shouldn’t be digging about in sand (especially not with the amount of sewage now pumped into most beaches)

so from a risk assessment pov YABU

Mum463 · 13/04/2023 21:59

Yanbu. We put our recycling tubs on the edge of our drive, you know with waste paper, plastic bottles etc and have had people stand there whilst their dog pisses in them. You should be able to enjoy your day out without someone doing this.

crew2022 · 13/04/2023 22:09

She should have recalled him and apologised.
We have a puppy who might attempt something like this but I'd have run up and shooed him away if it crossed my mind he would wee. I'd also have offered to take the spades and wash them off in the sea

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