To think there's something wrong with my mind re weight loss

[Weightworried]

I lost a LOT of weight. Then put 2/3rds of that loss back on.

I'm now nearly back down to that total loss. So yeah, that's all good.

But honestly I don't feel that different from my heftiest weight.

Objectively I know I'm less heavy and my clothes fur better and I'm down sizes but I don't feel that different.

How can this be?

It should be noticeable to me, but I still fell a chunk, a bit less of a chunk, but my feelings of smaller don't seem to correlate with the loss. It's a bit demotivating, but I'm preserving as I know it's better for my health.

But I don't get the joy of significant weight loss, don't really congratulate myself about it, am a bit ambivalent.

Aibu to be sad about this lack of noticing?

Excuse typos

I think in a way this is a good thing OP? It could mean that your self esteem and sense of "self" isn't closely linked to your weight / looks, and more to other aspects of your character.

That's an interesting take on it thank you.

I've got very low self esteem though anyway, it's not healthy

I think it depends on your before and after weight? If you were 200lbs and are now 180lb, then I don't see think that's a big enough change to feel like a different person. If you were 200lbs and are now 100lbs and you don't feel that different, you could possibly have body dysmorphia.

What was your starting and finishing weights? Dress sizes? Do you feel toned?

I lost 4 stone the other year, and have put it all back on. No judgement please anyone, as I hate myself enough for it!
I was looking fab from the weight loss, but never truly knew that at the time.
However, I really do feel like crap at the moment. Really lethargic and just yuk. I am so disappointed in how I look too.
Once I lose it again, I am going to make a concerted effort to love and cherish myself more! Unfortunately I am unable to do that at the moment.

It sounds like time to tackle this issue?

I don’t weigh myself and try hard to focus on whether I am eating healthily for exactly this reason. I exercise because it is good for me, not because it will change the way I look. I try to focus on what I would like my relationship with food to be like, how I would like to be feeding my body (healthy nutritious food) and then try not to think about my weight or what I look like too much. I had eating disorders when I was younger, and carry extra weight now BUT I also neither starve myself nor binge. In an ideal day, what would I eat? I make sure I don’t get hungry (realising how much protein and fat I need to eat at a meal to stop myself feeling starving was an eye opener) because I go slightly loopy if I get really hungry and it kicks off the cycle of crazy eating. I had to tell myself that food was not about what I saw in the mirror and that whether I weighed 8 stone or 18 stone wasn’t important provided I was feeding my body good food for long term health. (Also what I see in the mirror is not what others see.)

How much weight have u lost?
If you have lost over 10 stone u could have body dysmorphia?
If u r worried go and see yr GP.

At the end of the day losing weight doesn't change who you are. And if you have low self esteem that's tied to other things then losing weight won't change.

Perhaps you thought it would massively change something inside you to make you happier and more confident. But the part of you that you want to change... isn't your weight?

I've never found losing weight makes me feel particularly different day to day. It makes wearing clothes easier and shopping for clothes more fun, which is nice but not life-changing.

However, last time I lost a significant amount of weight I wrote down all the ways I felt I was affected by it - so lack of ease of movement, specific things that I was bothered about (i.e. back fat), how I felt about myself generally. And when I'd lost the weight I realised that those things just didn't occur to me anymore, because they were no longer bothering me. So actually I did feel different, but it takes so bloody long to lose weight that you forget how you felt before.

Are you noticing a change in your energy levels? Do you feel fitter?

Im a bit like this in that I don’t feel hugely different or less attractive at a size 10 or size 14 - I’ve recently lost 2 stones and still don’t feel like “ooh, looking goood!” When I look in the mirror. However, I feel so much better in myself, I’ve lots more energy, my skin hair & nails are better from the healthy food I’m eating and I no longer go “oof” when I get up of the sofa!

Maybe try to focus on the small positives that being a healthy weight bring?

Have you gone out and bought new clothes that fit? I went from a 14 to an 8 and didn’t feel slim until I ditched the baggy clothes and actually bought clothes that fit me nicely and showed off my new figure.

Also has your body composition changed? For example I looked much slimmer when I was 10st and muscly than when I was 9st7 and hadn’t exercised in years ages.

Hiya.

I was 23 stone and lost nearky 10 stone.

Put 6,5 back on and now I've lost 5 of that

So I'm 8 stone less than I was, but still a chunk

No not toned at all, think I'll probably never be toned, currently swimming 3ish times a week.

I'm considering loose skin removal surgery in the future

Was a 32 before now I'm a 16/18

You say you were looking fab, but did you feel fab? I hope you can get going again, you can do this

@carriedout yes I'm.sure you're right, but how on earth to try to address this?

Heard something lately, that though a little cheesy did inspire me.

Dont say, lose weight to get healthy.
Say, get healthy to lose weight.

Losing weight is a job, a chore, a task. Being healthy is something that i want to do because it will make me feel good and live better, longer. People who live a healthy life maintain a healthy weight.

I think it takes time for your brain to catch up. I’d definitely focus on how you feel.

To go from a size 32 to a 16/18 is amazing!

Congratulations OP, you've done an incredible job.

I've recently been losing weight via Corinne Crabtree's programme -losing 100lbs with Corinne.

She focuses totally on the thought work to reverse why very overweight people overeat,

It's brilliant. I felt 1000 times more positive before I'd even lost a pound.

Maybe google her or something similar to get to the psychology behind it?

It's interesting what you say, thank you. I read recently that we should see our fitness as sort of a pension contributions to our elder health.

I'm trying to embrace that thought.

What would a diagnosis of dysmorphia achieve? Genuinely curious because it's something that I've considered before, but no idea if it'd help having a formal diagnosis?

Everyone go and buy and read:
Why We Eat (Too Much): The New Science of Appetite https://amzn.eu/d/0RfG9MO

it explains everything you have been describing and how to stop it