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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dd12 Thorpe park without me

48 replies

Greyhairedlady · 13/04/2023 09:45

Thoughts on this please. Dd and 3 friends 11-12 year olds want to go Thorpe park

arrangements is another mum known to me will drop them
they will go round accompanied by an elder sibling I don’t know but aged 21 and the siblings friends
then another mum will pick up and run them back

I hate Thorpe park anyway as I hate the roller coasters
do I make an excuse? I don’t know the siblings and I’m worried she will fall out a roller coaster
she’s going to hate me but I can’t stop worrying

OP posts:

PuttingDownRoots · 13/04/2023 10:17

Shes no less likely to fall out if she had five parents with her than a group of friends... it staff in charge of safety.

21 year olds are adults. They can be teachers, parents, nurses, police officers, soldiers, politicians.

I think its quite nice of the 21 old sibling to facilitate the trip.

blubberball · 13/04/2023 10:19

Hope she has a great day with her friends. It sounds brilliant for her!

See if you can get yourself therapy for your anxiety. See if you can observe these thoughts from above, like looking down on them from above the clouds. Or imagine a train station. These thoughts are slowly pulling out of the station on the train of thought, but you don't have to get on board and can just watch them get smaller into the distance.

Lcb123 · 13/04/2023 10:20

Definitely let her go - it’s incredibly safe and you being there would make no difference. Sounds ideal, I’m the same as you and hate rollercoasters

Lcb123 · 13/04/2023 10:21

We went to Thorpe park in early secondary school and we went round in small groups without teachers for the day

helpfulperson · 13/04/2023 10:27

She is actually less likely to fall out without you there. Health and safety executive did some work a few years ago on this and one of the main causes of incidents on fairground rides is children trying to wave to parents and trying to stand up or turn round to do so.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 13/04/2023 10:28

This is a great situation given that you would hate to go yourself and your daughter will have a great time. Lots of schools do trips to theme parks for this age group where they walk around on their own/with friends and it will be a good opportunity for her to gain some independence whilst also having a level of supervision.

Zola1 · 13/04/2023 10:29

Greyhairedlady · 13/04/2023 10:09

Am I going to far if I drive up secretly and just wait outside!

Much too far. It'd be weird.

Mines 13, in the holidays I'm going to let her go to a theme park with her mates unsupervised. They won't fall out but if they did, me being there wouldn't stop them.

pointythings · 13/04/2023 10:29

Just let her go. And consider getting some support for your anxiety - not because I think you're a bad mum or anything but because I want you to feel secure and confident in your everyday life.

Easterfunbun · 13/04/2023 10:30

I’m the same OP. Theme parks just spark my anxiety. My son wants to go on his own this summer with his friend. They’re both 13 so more than old enough but I’ll still be glad when the days over.

Glittertwins · 13/04/2023 10:31

We live too far for a drop off but we've let them go off with friends whilst we just sit in the cafes. We did have passes so it's not like it cost a fortune to go in and sit down either.

ImAGoodPerson · 13/04/2023 10:34

They are with an actual adult though? At 13 we went to DLP with school and we left to go off alone all day, same for any theme park visits in the UK.

I would say a theme park is a pretty safe place overall.

TwoPointFourCatsAndDogs · 13/04/2023 10:34

Just dropped my DD14 and 5 friends there. They’ve been going alone for the last few years, your DD will have a great time. There’s absolutely no point you driving up there, you wont see anything and only stress yourself out.

SheikYerboutiii · 13/04/2023 10:35

Christ, get a grip. I went to Alton towers with the school when I was 13 and we weren’t even expected to check in with the teachers until the end of the day. You need to stop with the anxiety because you’ll fuck your daughter up too.

FedUpCoveringOthers · 13/04/2023 10:36

My mum never let me go on a school trip to Alton towers when I was 12. Due to her worries. I am in my fifties and still hold a grudge. It was awful when everyone was talking about the fun they had had. It’s not fair to spoil your child’s fun because of your own anxiety. It makes me angry actually.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 13/04/2023 10:36

Greyhairedlady · 13/04/2023 10:09

Am I going to far if I drive up secretly and just wait outside!

If you genuinely think this is rational behaviour then you need professional help.

shutthewindownow · 13/04/2023 10:38

Why would you ruin her fun like that ? Seriously she is 12. Let her go. Don't put your irrational worries into her it's not fair. Part of being a parent is letting kids go and do things away from you she will be safe of course she will.

RichardHeed · 13/04/2023 10:38

What do you think sitting outside will do? You won’t be able to see anything and if she finds out it’ll just wreck your relationship with her as she will think you don’t trust her.

millymollymoomoo · 13/04/2023 10:40

My 14 year old went with a group of friends during Halloween fright night

i had major reservations - injury on a ride, falling out, cart coming off track, being attacked my group of jars ( or girls) getting stabbed, you name it I thought it! 😀

but I let her go as they’re my worries to deal with not hers, although I did give her a long list of dos and don’ts!!

in your case I’d be ok based on them being accompanied by an older sibling and staying as a group- she’ll have a great time

and don’t sit outside !

millymollymoomoo · 13/04/2023 10:40

Boys not jars!

Oblomov23 · 13/04/2023 10:42

Sounds fab.

idontlikementhols · 13/04/2023 10:44

Don't let your issues stop her having fun with her friends. Please.

Nismet · 13/04/2023 10:45

What a lovely thing for her friend's older sister to do! Let her go and be very grateful she has this little bit of freedom with so much back up on tap.

Dixiechickonhols · 13/04/2023 10:46

It’s an age appropriate thing to do and she’ll be fine. Even without the older siblings they’d be ok as a group.
If they went with school at that age they would be able to go around with their friends - one local school has a reward trip to pleasure beach end yr 7.
Mums who treated teens like toddlers dropping them everywhere and accompanying them everywhere did them no favours long term.

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