To worry about DD’s weight?

[ToWorryOrNot]

My dd is 12 (3 months away from 13). We had to attend a medical appointment yesterday and they sat her in one of those weighing chairs. She asked me to look and tell her what it said, so I did and it was 58kg, which is 9.1 stone! That was with all her clothes/boots on though.

I was really shocked by this, because she has my exact physique shape-wise and I know I didn’t hit 9 stone until I was into my 20s. She’s not as tall as me, she’s 5’4” at the moment. She has quite a ‘womanly’ figure for her age in that she has boobs and a bum (neither massive but they’re there) but she really doesn’t look in the least bit overweight, and often has people saying things like “you’re tall and slim like your mum”. She wears size 6 or XS size women’s clothes, which fit her fine.

But according to the online charts she’s heavier than the average weight for a 16 year old, let alone a 12 year old! Which just doesn’t compute with what I see before me, she looks in proportion and slim to me. Obviously I haven’t said anything to her as I don’t want to give her any kind of complex, but thought I’d ask on here if I should be worried?

There’s no reason to be concerned at all, it just sounds like she’s developed early so comparing her to an ‘average’ child is daft.

I'm super heavy even when skinny. I think it's because I have very muscular legs. But I had a orthopaedic issue in my teens and every time they would weigh me they'd be like - whaaat? It was really embarrassing for a teen and I got a bit of a complex about being big but looking back I wasn't at all. Does your Dd do a lot of sport?

I think you can usually tell if a child is overweight or not; she sounds heavy but if she genuinely looks slim then I honestly wouldn’t worry. If she’s fitting in a women’s size 6 she sounds fine to me.

My friend’s daughter is 10, weighs 11.5 stone and is very overweight sadly - her body shape sounds very different to your daughter’s based on what you’ve said.

She is very active so quite muscly. She’s always been like a lead weight - my eldest brother is her favourite uncle and even when she was tiny he’d comment when he picked her up that she weighs a lot more than she looks like she should weigh 😂.

My dd (9) is exactly the same. Weighed in hospital for an appointment, and the nurse looked at her, said, "You must be made of steel, young lady!" 😅 I wouldn't worry about it unless she's huffing and puffing about the place.

If she developed early then naturally she’ll be bigger/heavier than average - but the range will be huge.

My DD is 11 and in year 6 but could easily pass for 13 or older. One of her friends is tiny and looks more like a nine year old. Huge variation in physical development at this age.

I wouldn’t worry at all unless a health care professional brings it up. I get weighed all the time as have to see lots of doctors for a health condition. I weigh 80kg, I’m a size 12 and 5’6”. While I could lose a little around my mum tum, I have been reassured lots of times by doctors and nurses that despite being very overweight according to BMI, I’m actually perfectly fine. It’s obvious that I’m not overweight. I wouldn’t panic about it or mention it to her, some of us clearly have heavy bones 😂

She’s the height of an average 16 year old too so I wouldn’t worry too much.

She's tall that's why, of course you shouldn't worry, the child is in a size 6 and as tall as me, qn adult woman.

My eldest is 5 and the weight of an average 7 yr old, however he's also the height of an average 7 yr old. He's just your general giant really. No idea why, we're still assuming he was switched at birth 😂

This is why BMI is crap. She's a healthy active young lady. That you dress to her perfect size, she doesn't have to be a child's age 12!
The scale needs to be changed now.

She's a size 6 and has a BMI of 21.8. She's just grown earlier than average, but is in proportion just fine.

Has she started her periods? It is hard to try and match children’s guides to girls who are essentially adults! Using bmi she would surely be in the healthy range for her height? I wouldn’t worry.

Did the medical professional at the appointment bring it up as a concern?
IF not, I wouldn't be worried.

I really hope you keep any worries to yourself. And it's certainly not helpful to compare it to yourself and how much you weighed at what age.

At her age, good mental image, being active and eating a varied diet is so important. Please don't set her up for a life of hating her body like so many women.

She's around 80 centile which is the healthy weight for her age. Given she is tall and has started puberty I think this sounds fine.

Well she’s an adult height and wearing an adult size 6 so I’d say she’s fine. It’s something to watch though. I was that height at 13 and weighed about 45 kilos. It sounds like she’ll need to be very mindful of exercise and diet, perhaps earlier than other teens need to.

From the info you give, she has a BMI in the healthy range, so I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe just keep an eye open, but if her diet is reasonably healthy then don't panic.

OP, do you still have her red book from when she was little? In the back, there are growth charts that go up to age twenty one, and take her weight & height. It will show what percentile she is and you'll be able to judge for yourself.

If she in the 75 percentile for both weight & height you'll know she's fine. If weight & height are a long way off a match then you might query it with a gp, but she sounds completely normal to me.

It’s not at all ‘something to be watched’ or start obsessing about diet and exercise 🙄 she’s at a healthy BMI, she’s had puberty early so should be heavier than a lot of other 12 year olds. Many don’t start puberty until 14/15. Averages aren’t very helpful around puberty because there’s such a range. A lot of kids do also go through a ‘puppy fat’ stage. You’re not going to do anything positive by obsessing about her weight, girls get enough of that from social media and peers

I really wouldn’t worry. I was 5ft 2in & weighed around 58kg at age 10 (early puberty) but I was slim & healthy. I never got any taller & as an adult I’m a size 10 & around 60kg, but I’m right at the top of the BMI ‘green’ area. I’m just heavy!

Thanks for all the reassurance 😊. Yes she does have periods, she started just over a year ago.

I'm assuming none of the medical professionals were concerned about her weight?!

If they weren't worried I'd not be either.

My friends DD is very slim looking, in fact looks underweight and at 15 still hasn't started her periods.

But she physically weighs far more than you'd think and is like picking up a dead weight. Like poster above she looks like it would be picking up a feather. But it isn't 🤣

Percentiles instead of BMI are used for children and your DD comes out 86 (I used age 13), which is the top end of the healthy weight range. She'll probably grow a few more inches and reach her adult healthy weight in a few years time.

She's not overweight, her BMI is healthy for a 12 yo.

Average weight for 12 yr olds means very little as does average weight for adults. There's a vast range of heights and development by the time they are 12