To not want to pretend to be fake happy at work when struggling with my personal life?

[jhgfrghb]

My job is one of those companies that has lots of enforced fun, think regular socials and happy hours, etc. My manager has been bringing up things to me which I just don't have the energy to care about, like next week I've been chosen to do a 'fun quiz' for my colleagues.

I have been struggling with my personal life. My manager knows I've had issues with my mental health, but doesn't know the extent of everything. I have an emotionally abusive and draining family member who is exhausting to deal with, but feel binded to tip toe around them as I know if they turned against me they would be nasty and it's just not worth it. I have so much stuff to deal with outside of working hours, yet I have my manager asking me why I'm not attending the work socials that go on late into the evening. I do my work and put on a happy face to colleagues and am pleasant to deal with, but it's like I reach my threshold when it comes to being able to attend socials outside of work hours or spending time making fun light hearted quizzes or ice breakers.

I'm leaving my job soon anyway for other reasons but sometimes I just think all of this fake enforced fun is so meaningless and draining. I don't know why it effects me so much but it does.

Depends if being fun loving was in the person spec

Forced fun is bullshit. Just do the minimum you can get away with and wait it out until you can escape. Give apologies to as many things as possible.

i can sympathise OP. i often feel like I’m not ‘fun’ enough at work, idk how much i am overthinking it but i’m introverted and have a busy life and don’t particularly want to go to every single social. i never understand why so many do, showing your face every so often can be appropriate but also it’s good to maintain your own personal life outside of work and not blur the boundaries

My boss had the idea that loads of "fun" stuff needs to be arranged for the sake of "wellbeing".

I've told her point blank that it might help some people but forced fun is the exact opposite of good for my wellbeing.

She meant well, I just don't think she'd thought about the fact that people are different. She took it quite well.

Yanbu. Would you consider writing something to that effect and putting it in an e-mail so that she doesn't interrupt or ambush you?

I too hate that kind of thing.

How puerile. NO business should be insisting on any 'forced fun' ever, they don't own your free time and are actively placing pressure on people to conform. It's shallow and meaningless and just increases the isolation of anyone experiencing any upheaval in their home life.

How about the subtle discrimination this creates for people who are in exactly these situations? It's like what having a cigarette break used to be - get all the Goss, be in with the crowd if you did.

Absolutely no workplace should be pulling you up on not going to the 'fun' things, fuck that I've got better things to do with my life!! But then I bloody hate organised fun haha I like to go to work be friendly and do my job but outside of that if I'll socialise with who I choose to and if I choose to from work

Is it in your Job description?

If not I'd inform her you are paid to complete your job description. You will do that and return home.

it sounds like the US version of the office. Yuk, can you just tell your boss that you don’t want to do it?