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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate staying at home in the school holidays

24 replies

Iwantittobeme · 12/04/2023 21:43

I think it's the ages of my children - 9 and 11. A couple of years ago they were happy going for walks, on scooters, going to the park for picnics. Now they don't want to leave the house if we're home and just want screens.

I find it so depressing. If I could I would take them away throughout all the school holidays (I am already dreading the summer). Something just transforms us all when we're in a different place, even if it's nowhere fancy. We just live differently, eat different foods, are more keen to get out and about, can live a more outdoor life (if it's somewhere warm), are just more excited for life. It's just not the same at home. It's rained most of the week and there isn't anything exciting enough to leave the house for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwantittobeme · 12/04/2023 22:23

Maybe it's just me?

OP posts:
Notsuretoputit · 12/04/2023 22:26

YANBU but they are 11 and 9. Tell them that today we’re going for a picnic, swimming, to a museum etc. It’s tough if they want to spend it all looking at a screen.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 12/04/2023 22:26

Nope - I agree. Trying to find activities for the kids.

We have done all our usual things - swimming, bowling, mini golf.

We would normally do something energetic but Dd has a big event at the weekend and so we can’t risk her getting injured or fatigued. (Don’t ask!)

We went kite flying today. Bloody thing wouldn’t fly.

Original poster
Iwantittobeme · 12/04/2023 22:30

Well that would be the obvious thing to do but they would whine all the way through. It's not worth it most of the time.

OP posts:
ssd · 12/04/2023 22:30

Very difficult ages. Gearing up to be full blown teens.

FrownedUpon · 12/04/2023 22:34

I agree. We have much more fun together when we’re away. Luckily we’ve just been on holiday for a week, but boredom has now set in at home.

DorritLittle · 12/04/2023 22:35

Agree. Can’t afford a holiday this time so have come to a grandparent for a change of scene. Mine are 9 and 12.

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 12/04/2023 22:39

Tough ages pre teens.

Break up screen time maybe by a visit to your local high street for a perusal. Hot chocolate and cakes and if runs to it a book each??

Local pub for drinks (wine for mummy) chat about all sorts make them feel grown up.

Swimming/ park/woods with a picnic it's not the weather it's the clothing. You can have so much fun In the rain.

What games are they playing? Can you join in and have a go?

Pizza and film together?

They tune in and tune out this age as need their own space,so respect, that but equally they do like family time you just have to instigate and make it fun.

Bet you doing a fab job op

thatsn0tmyname · 12/04/2023 22:42

Mine are 9 and 11, too. I always plan to meet up with friends and they're usually happy to go. They get screen time before and after and know they're getting the best of both worlds. Have you got friends you can meet up with?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/04/2023 22:43

Um… you’re the adult here.

Tell them to get up, clothes on, boots on, head up a hill and scream into the wind.

Or just leave them at home and you go out for half an hour. They will be fine.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/04/2023 22:45

My dd are 9 and 11 and similar. Happy to go out to expensive activities like water park, cinema, lunch out / less happy to go to the park / woods like we used to.

my 11yo has asd, thinks she’s practically a teen but is very young emotionally and not very independent. So if she wants to do eg baking or sewing at home, she needs a lot of help. She finds life difficult- socially, academically at school - and I think wants to forget and just watch tv all day. I have to work hard to engage her which I didn’t expect at this age - it is hard work!

eddiemairswife · 12/04/2023 22:47

Don't children play with friends anymore? I did and my children did. Parents didn't agonise over how to entertain their offspring during school holidays.

CabbageKale · 12/04/2023 22:49

How about getting them into gaming which will get them out of the house - like Pokamon Go, Wokamon. There are loads but many won't be age suitable.

theysaiditgetseasier · 12/04/2023 22:49

The same position here too, in fact I'm so glad you posted as it saved me a job!

Mine are 8 and 11 and the youngest is still happy to go out, even if it's just to the supermarket or a walk, eldest is a nightmare and will refuse any suggestions unless it's clothes shopping 🤯

Some things that I've managed this holiday are:

  • Trampling & pizza
  • Day trip to London (free tube travel for kids although I have to drive to a London station) - bribed by a visit to M&M world
  • Drive to the seaside funfair (Southend)
  • Movie day - close all curtains make popcorn and duvets downstairs
  • Library visit with the bribe of a hot chocolate / trip to the cafe

All cost money but can keep costs down, I agree is difficult once they get to these ages

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 12/04/2023 22:50

Have you tried good old fashioned bribery?

It worked for my parents Grin

Marblessolveeverything · 12/04/2023 22:54

Get them involved in how the time will be spent. What are their interests then help them both plan a day give them a budget and a challenge , basically engage them.

I set a three strike warning moan three times no screen for three days. To be fair they both have got on board and while comic com, anime shops aren't my bag it means we are out and about.

theysaiditgetseasier · 12/04/2023 22:54

eddiemairswife · 12/04/2023 22:47

Don't children play with friends anymore? I did and my children did. Parents didn't agonise over how to entertain their offspring during school holidays.

Agree totally but my kids don't get invited round to peoples houses much, eldest has asd so only has one friend and she's on holiday, youngest hasn't got any friends that are close enough for her to get invites, I'd happily host play dates but most parents I know do stuff in cliques with certain groups of friends.

As a kid mum used to let me play out from aged 6, roller skating and playing with other kids on our street. Miss those times

Dontsayyouloveme · 12/04/2023 23:08

You’re assuming friends are either very close by that they can just play outside or not busy themselves with activities or away on holiday or at grandparents. None of my son’s friends have been available this Easter holiday, on the days that he was 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thisismeyeah · 12/04/2023 23:14

This is where a dog comes in usefull. Dog has to be walked so you go out, kids play with dog you get some sanity back while out of the house. I'm not suggesting you get a dog if you don't have one. I always plan in advance every day or nearly every day what we will do, look for local events etc. I cant stand staying in. Failing all that we walk the dog 😄

MegBusset · 12/04/2023 23:22

At that age I started to get them more involved in planning stuff to do in the holidays.

Eg if you are at home for a week - make a list of activities (mix of indoor / outdoor, in line with what’s near you and your budget!). Each chooses two from the list, then you do one of these each day and have a free day when they can stay at home on screens all day.

Conkersinautumn · 12/04/2023 23:26

Surely they want to see friends though? Are they struggling with friendships? Do they have activities outside school? What about hobbies do they not want to do those at all?

Moonlightdust · 12/04/2023 23:47

I could’ve written this too. Really struggled these hols with a 9 yo, pre teen and teenager. They don’t want to do walks anymore and are also not bothered to leave their screens to go out anywhere unless it involves spending a lot! It’s so hard finding an activity they all enjoy. Grieving a time when our hols at home were filled with outings and family activities when they were easily pleased. I don’t know if this is because they’re all growing up or the new generation today?!

theelil · 12/04/2023 23:59

I have a 9 year old DD, she constantly wants to be with her friends just now out at the park playing. I find that difficult because I feel like I'm just waiting about the house with nothing to do. And then when she's in for the night she just wants to be on her phone, she really isn't interested in me.

Some days I will say we are going a picnic this afternoon or we are going out a walk in the morning before you go out with your friends. She's quite happy to go out for dinner or bowling etc but I'm skint just now so it's difficult trying to find cheap things she's interested in.

Just drag them out. Say they can't have their phones until they do what is planned that morning/afternoon/evening.

theelil · 13/04/2023 00:02

Iwantittobeme · 12/04/2023 22:30

Well that would be the obvious thing to do but they would whine all the way through. It's not worth it most of the time.

I just tell my daughter to be quiet and stop whining 😂 doesn't always work, but it's important to learn that we sometimes have to do things in life we don't want to and it's important for continuing that relationship and bond. It's good for them to know that even if they don't want to spend time with us, we are still interested in them and their lives and want to spend time with them - they'll appreciate the memories when they're older.

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