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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nursery WTF? Being messed around

26 replies

AlfaRomeoWhereArtThou · 12/04/2023 13:29

My 2.9 year old daughter started nursery earlier this year. They charge £110 a day (inner London). My daughter, being 2.5 when she started, was placed in a room with 3-4 year olds, as the nursery said she was 'advanced' for her age. We weren't so sure, but fine.

Daughter had a difficult time settling and was crying a lot. After a few days, the nursery decided that this meant she wasn't so advanced after all and moved her back to be with her own age group (2-3 year olds). Also fine.

Fast-forward a couple months, daughter stated that the other kids in her room can't talk. She doesn't always like nursery and all the activities they do are very much focused on learning shapes and colours etc., which she has been able to do for months now. So we raised this, and her key person said she'd assess her. We then had a meeting with her, in which she said that our daughter is advanced in all areas, more so than even some of the kids in the "older" room. We asked specifically if there were any areas for development, in which she wasn't doing so well. Key person said no. So, based on that assessment, the nursery decided to put her back with the 3-4 year olds.

However, that same key person has now uploaded a written observation of our daughter in the app, which states she is only in the 18-24 month range for literacy and maths. I asked if that was correct, and the key person's response was: 'This is where I believe she is. Perhaps she is more advanced at home'.

WTF?! I'm certainly not one of 'those' parents who thinks their child is a genius or anything. I honestly couldn't care less whether she is 'advanced' or not. I just want consistency. Why on Earth would they move her into a room with children older than her age if she is actually a year behind in some areas? And why would they not just say this to our face? AIBU to be annoyed at how this has gone down?

OP posts:
potatowhale · 12/04/2023 13:38

My child moves between the two rooms at the moment depending what they are doing.

MrsSamR · 12/04/2023 13:48

All sounds a bit weird to me in terms of the constant "assessing" of your DD. At our nursery, as far as I'm aware, children stay within their year groups. My daughter will be 3 next month so has been doing the odd day here and there in pre-school to prepare her for the transition but I haven't heard of children moving around from room to room like this. Not sure if that's helpful - just my experience!

Hankunamatata · 12/04/2023 13:56

Does it matter? She is only 3. Perhaps she won't do the things for the assessment at the time. Play should be fun and learning play based not worrying about literacy and numeracy targets

Freddiefox · 12/04/2023 13:59

When she’s in the older room what ratio is on? I wonder if it’s a staffing issue?

when you challenged them on their contradiction what did they say?

ModeWeasel · 12/04/2023 14:01

Have a look at the potential plus U.K. website and see if you recognise anything there - really useful for data on how to support kids who learn faster than their peers

Mutabiliss · 12/04/2023 14:01

It really doesn't matter if she's 'behind' in literacy and maths at 3. That's going to be such a tiny part of their day, they're just letting you know what she's showing them she knows at nursery.

If she's physically advanced, talking well and emotionally able to cope then she's better off with the older kids. That said, mine seemed to switch rooms for different activities at that age - I never knew which room he'd be in for pick up because they merged the groups for some activities. It may be that she's advanced in some ways but not others, so they're not quite sure where she sits best.

Bigpinktrain · 12/04/2023 14:07

Hmm
learning isn’t linear so it’s possible that she is is reaching some milestones in the age bracket above but in the activity in which she was being observed she was deemed to be 18-24mnths.
Incidentally the EYFS has changed now, for this very reason and we now record using the following age brackets, 0-3years, 3-4 years, reception.
I would also be a bit concerned the constant room changing is due to staff ratios- may be worth asking this question

Seasonofthewitch83 · 12/04/2023 14:08

Is this birth to 5 matters grading?

Kids generally always score lower than their age group as they can only assess them based on the specific observation, rather than their overall skill level.

Also, you need to unclench a bit. It literally doesnt matter one dot!

GiltEdges · 12/04/2023 14:11

Honestly don't see the point in the constant chopping and changing of rooms. At that age, she should be in a room with peers her own age in an appropriate child-adult ratio. The end.

Forget about development, literacy, maths, whatever else. She'll develop at her own pace.

Lindy2 · 12/04/2023 14:12

I'd say where she is in her social development is probably the best indication of what age of child she would enjoy mixing with.

A lot of the nursery assessments for development areas are just really a tick box process and frankly mostly don't mean much at all at this age.

The children should be playing and learning to mix with other children. The literacy, maths, colours etc all follows on from the play they do.

Original poster
AlfaRomeoWhereArtThou · 12/04/2023 14:49

Thanks for the responses, people! And I agree. I probably need to pipe down as it doesn't matter all that much at this age. The main thing I'm annoyed at is the lack of consistency in what they tell us and the back and forth room changes (staffing issue might be accurate).

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/04/2023 15:01

Surely at a nursery for such young dc they are grouped on abilities not academia? So non walkers together, then mobile non verbal/low verbal together, then the walkers and talkers together.

I'd be annoyed a 2.5yo going back into a room with 18mos based on maths Hmm

alyceflowers · 12/04/2023 15:06

No at nurseries they are usually grouped according to staff ratios.
Under 2s together with 1 staff per 3 children
2 year olds together with 1 staff per 4 children
3 and 4s together with 1 staff per 8 children.

It doesn't matter if some 2 year olds are verbal and some aren't, they are all in the same ratio.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 12/04/2023 15:07

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/04/2023 15:01

Surely at a nursery for such young dc they are grouped on abilities not academia? So non walkers together, then mobile non verbal/low verbal together, then the walkers and talkers together.

I'd be annoyed a 2.5yo going back into a room with 18mos based on maths Hmm

Yeah, valid point. Normally its age range which the younger they are, tends to be quite broad in skillset? Our nursery generally goes by age rather than skill! And then children are assessed individually based on needs, e.g we have agreed DD can stay in her current room as her speech and understanding isnt quite matching the children in the next room up yet.

TheShellBeach · 12/04/2023 15:11

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/04/2023 15:01

Surely at a nursery for such young dc they are grouped on abilities not academia? So non walkers together, then mobile non verbal/low verbal together, then the walkers and talkers together.

I'd be annoyed a 2.5yo going back into a room with 18mos based on maths Hmm

I don't disagree with you but I was laughing at the thought of baby academics, wearing gowns and mortar boards.

AliceTheeCamel · 12/04/2023 15:14

I wouldn't expect literacy and maths to have any bearing on what room a child was in at nursery.

Like pp, I would suspect staffing and ratios are behind the room moves.

Sugarfree23 · 12/04/2023 15:16

I suspect they are juggling kids around based on ratios and staffing numbers and who's off sick on any particular day.

fairywhale · 12/04/2023 15:24

Because they are not qualified or able to assess her correctly

Skybluepinky · 12/04/2023 15:38

Sounds like they would be better off with a childminder rather than keep swapping around at the nursery.

RafaistheKingofClay · 12/04/2023 15:41

I’d be surprised if all the activities were based around things like shape and colours. The EYFS is much wider than that.

Do you know what they are assessing her against?

Original poster
AlfaRomeoWhereArtThou · 12/04/2023 19:07

They use Birth to 5 Matters (as suggested by another poster). I wish they would just be honest though. They said they would base her room on her ability in all the 7 areas of development. But now, even though she is believed to be "behind" in 3 of these they're still moving her into a room with older kids.

If they need to move her around based on staff ratios, I would appreciate it if they would just say so instead of coming up with all this: 'she's ready'/'she's not ready' nonsense.🙄

OP posts:
Wenfy · 22/05/2023 15:49

Call them. I would be extremely surprised if a 2.5 yo is more advanced in lteracy and numeracy than a 4 yo. You sound a bit deluded to be honest.

Original poster
AlfaRomeoWhereArtThou · 22/05/2023 23:24

@Wenfy Where did I say that she was more advanced than a 4 year old? If course she isn't.

Btw about 2 weeks after this they assessed her again and apparently she had miraculously gone up a range in all areas since joining preschool, which they put down to their efforts. I've stopped taking the whole thing seriously now, as rhe kid is obviously doing fine.

OP posts:
weareallout · 22/05/2023 23:42

All sounds bonkers to me. Kids should be in own age groups doing loads appropriate stuff

sheldonia · 22/05/2023 23:48

Literacy and maths? At 2 to 3 years old? FFS, she should be playing, nothing else.

What a load of shite.