Terrified of leaving my job - should I change my mind

[Scottishrock]

I’m leaving my job next week and have been here for 8 years. I have a new opportunity that is around a 25% pay rise, it has a longer commute but only twice per week. I’ve also been passed over for promotion several times in my current job and just been feeling stuck.

But I’m really terrified of leaving and worried this is a red flag I shouldn’t ignore. I keep reading about people being excited to start a new opportunity and I am dreading my last day/first day, I can’t comprehend actually handing back my laptop etc after such a long time!! They haven’t filled my role and know they would love it if I decided to stay but I’m not sure if it’s just nerves/fear of the unknown talking? Has anyone else been in this situation? AIBU to consider retracting my notice?

Nothing that we achieve, that is exceptional, comes without fear.

Go for it and be brilliant.

Nothing that made you unhappy in your current job will change. It’s hard moving out of your comfort zone but go g go or it!

It’s time to move on… your initial gut reaction to look for something new is right.

Fear of the unknown is natural, but, don’t compare jobs until a year has passed. It takes time to forge new relationships, understand systems etc and you can’t compare something you were completely comfortable with and something unfamiliar. It will become familiar over time.

I’m facing similar after 14 years in my current role. I’ve been offered an opportunity which is exactly what I’ve always wanted in terms of type of work and autonomy. However, it plays on my mind every day and sometimes I’m genuinely terrified at the thought of being the newbie after so long. What helps is recounting all the reasons why I was compelled to leave in the first place - wrote it down to remind myself. For me, it was being seen as the safe pair of hands, being passed over for promotion,
feeling under appreciated and needy, ungrateful direct reports and senior managers. When I remind myself of all that, I get quite angry that I allowed it for so long.

OP, you were amazing in your old job and you’ll be just as amazing in your new job. You will finally get the remuneration and recognition you deserve. Lean into those feelings of anxiety and push through it. You will come out stronger and better I promise you. Wish you all the best in your new role.

What are your reasons for wanting to leave in the first place? Did your employer make any attempts to keep you?

Honestly it's normal to feel apprehensive leaving all you've known for so long, but remember why you wanted to leave and what appealed about your new job. It sounds like an exciting opportunity, and if you aren't progressing where you are and you want to then time to go!

They asked me to stay, but in the end couldn’t get a promotion or pay rise signed off by higher management. I listed the reasons in first post, being passed over for promotion, feeling stuck, and to be honest in this climate we could do with the extra money!

I’d be nervous about starting any new job too. It doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision!

Go for it, good luck x

It’s always scary starting a new role, but this sounds like an amazing opportunity that you’ve secured. Go for it and give it time too. It always takes a while to settle into a new job. Good luck!

When you had your interview(s) what was your gut feeling about the hiring manager or those that you met? Have you had a chance to view the working environment before you officially start? Future promotion prospects? Ignore the salary (that won't matter if you're miserable working there) is there anything you can foresee being an issue why you wouldn't be happy working there?

I am moving on too after a similar amount of time. I am moving because I got head hunted by someone I used to work with, which adds a bit of comfort. All the same, it is terrifying going back to not knowing how systems work, who everyone is or if I'll overall like it more or less. But nothing would have been achieved from staying where I was. I was happy but probably too comfortable.

I keep thinking of the advantages. What the extra money/benefits will give me and my family. How good the change is for my personal growth. The things I will learn that I never would've. The people I'll meet who will become friends.

We can do this!

Normal nerves starting any new job. Be prepared to maybe not like it at first, but give it time, it takes a while to settle in and it's a bit of a shock to suddenly not know what you're doing.
Good luck, I think it's the right decision.

It is normal to be apprehensive about leaving a job. Many humans thrive on routine/structure and jumping to a new role is a big deal.

I recently left a job after 10 years for the reasons you described. I'm three months into the new job.

I'm still kind of grieving for my old job. The people, the work, the systems and knowing everything inside out.

But, I'm still SO GLAD I took the leap of faith. I'm enjoying the mix-up and the days absolutely fly by as I'm learning new things.

You deserve the pay increase and to feel valued. You can do it! Don't let your comfort zone and routine trap you.

Try to reframe it as excitement.

You are going on a little adventure. If it’s fucking awful, you just change your job again.

Likelihood is, you will be so glad in three months that you took the leap of faith.

Good luck!!

I didn’t get bad vibes from them, it’s a competitor of the company I currently work for so I know the company fairly well and less risky in that regard. My main hesitation is probably around the commute as I mostly wfh currently but saying that, I don’t think it’s necessarily good for me!

Definitely fear of the unknown, right now you are in your comfort zone.
But it sounds like you are frustrated and overlooked in current role.
Just go for it, you will regret it if you don't, nerves and imposter syndrome are totally normal. But your new employer choose you and thinks you were the best person for the job. Have faith in yourself and go for it- good luck!

Don't retract your notice. I did once and after 18 monhs I was worse off than when I originally decided to leave. What you have are perfectly understandable nerves, not a red flag.

Think forwards not back. Think of all the positives of the new job, it's always difficult making the move but you don't want to sit in the same place and be in there same position 12 months down the line. Go online and give yourself a good excuse to buy a new outfit for work and look forward to it. Good luck.

Don’t stay with a company that passes you over for promotion!

It's just normal nerves! Please don't listen to them.

You got this job because the hiring managers feel you're capable and will be a good fit for the team. You must feel you're capable too else you wouldn't have applied and accepted.

The old place have proved that they don't value you. And how did you feel when you started there? Probably unsure and wondering if you bit off more than you can chew. You didn't and now you can do it with your eyes closed.

Also telling myself as I accepted a new job today and am shitting myself. We can do this!