Could you handle this type of relationship.?

[resolutely]

Me: late 40's, three teens at home with me full time, single parent, full time worker, travel 500 miles per week for said work.

Him: late 40's, two kids early teens, separated and lives mon-fri in another city for work, goes home at weekends to spend with kids while Mum leaves for weekend. All verified just in case you were wondering.

I would like something casual but exclusive and so would he.
I do not want any man in my kids lives and he feels the same.
I would like to meet for lunch dates/ dinners/ nights away in hotels/ walks .... once a week.
He would like the same.
I am not free at weekends and neither is he .
Could this work ?
Could you handle this or would feelings just get in the way? What about weddings or events that considered a plus one?
There will be no changes to our circumstances for a number of years.

He lives in the same home as his kids mum but works away mon-fri. He’d only see you once a week 30min away from where he works and you wouldn’t spend any time together outside of that?
Does this not ring any alarm bells? Sounds like he’s cheating.

Isn’t this a FWB? If it’s your thing, go for it. Personally it wouldn’t suit me as I like the companionship. Would you be happy your kids knowing your ‘friend’ exists? He doesn’t have to be ‘involved’ in their lives if they see him the odd time.

@CalistoNoSolo Pretty sure there was a recent thread about people like this.

Nothing constructive to say except note that you've been on before with a similar unresolved issue.

It was hilarious !!!

The general consensus was .... ' get a life...

When were you planning on seeing you? You drive 100 miles a day and then I assume you make dinner etc. so from 8-9pm?

Seeing him! Not you!

I would also like the companionship and would have it an evening or two per week.
Maybe it could be sen as a FWB , not sure what label suits but this would be the crux of it.

But you don't want him in your kids lives - so why would he be attending family events? I think you need to separate the two. You can either have a proper relationship where you're involved in each others lives or you can have a FWB situation. You cant have both.

@CarpetSlipper
If you reread the second paragraph of the opening post , you will read that his situation is verified , so that's not a concern.

Not for me.

I am free to see him from six pm each evening with the odd overnight stay.
He is totally free each evening.
I see your point @GoodChat .
It really can only be a FWB or a full all encompassing relationship.
That's what I need to decide on .

I mean this gently but are you over thinking it? Sounds pretty new at this stage, why not give it a go with the weekday thing and see how it goes?

Presumably there’s the chance in future that his kids might have sleepovers or go away for the weekend - doesn’t their other parent ever want weekend time with them?

You are right @User0610139736 ....I probably am overthinking it but it's a damage limitation thing for me.
I love the idea, I have the time but do I have the strength to keep it just as a casual thing for an undetermined Amount of time?

@User0610139736 that's their arrangement as it stands.
I expect that it will come to some sort of different arrangement soon as it seems untenable long term.
She had an affair and is still with her affair partner. Kids are oblivious.