Is it usual for 1 bridesmaid to not really be included in the photos?

[unsureifimatwat]

I'm wondering about this. Old friend asked me to be her bridesmaid. In hindsight I think it was because she was a witness at our very small, laid back wedding.

At friend's wedding her two old school friends were kind of like the 'real' bridesmaids, which is fair enough really as they all live in the same country where I am from originally. So they did they shopping for dresses and organised the hen party in another city abroad I couldn't go to.

I was called to be in a couple of photos but then asked to stand to the side while bride had photos with her 'real' bridesmaids and it just felt a bit awkward. I have never seen the wedding album now a year later, and suspect there were photos of the wedding party that I was not asked to be in.

At dinner, a guest from the groom's side made an unacceptable homophobic remark about my partner, and it was one of those things where you realise that had to have come from the groom's mother, as she was the one who would have shared that information with those guests.

After dinner, one of the other bridesmaids made some intrusive comments to me and my partner.

While those remarks are certainly not the responsibility of my friend, the whole thing along with the strange dynamics just makes me feel weird about that friendship with that couple now.

AIBU to distance myself? Or am I being oversensitive?

I was called to be in a couple of photos but then asked to stand to the side while bride had photos with her 'real' bridesmaids and it just felt a bit awkward.

Blimey that sounds cringingly awkward! Poor you

Either you can chat to your friend about it all, you can let it go and pretend it didn't happen, or let the friendship slide away.

It sounds like a can of worms and personally i like an easy life these days so i'd be doing the last one.
Good luck.

My ex-SIL did this to me too. Despite me not wanting to be a bridesmaid I was pressured into it. I was then only included on a handful of photos and only her side of the family/friends was included in at least 90% of the photos.

A few years later he married again and I was pushed into saying yes to being a bridesmaid. She then asked close to the date if I wanted to pull out. I said yes and she threw a huge paddy about it (I was pregnant but hadn't told them) and ditched my DD as bridesmaid too. Our side of the family was then pretty much excluded for the whole wedding day.

Honestly, people are weird and you should definitely distance yourself, OP. If mine was friends not family I'd have ditched them.

I would ties and move on
What a shitty experience for you.

It's really bothering me. We spent an absolute fortune on the whole thing, and I was really looking forward to it as we made it into part of a trip back to where I am from. But in a different part of the country in a very beautiful place so was so happy to be going.

I'm not sure what exactly even went wrong. But I just can't think of them the same way.