Worried myself with shouting at the kids

[alxixi]

I'm having on going issues with the neighbours potentially my housing officer (council house) was out at their house for an hour ish.

During that time I shouted at the kids. My second oldest who's 4 kept screaming about the tv so I said stop making that noise and said it in a loud but firm way a few times. I said there's no reason. To make that noise now stop it.

Then I had left my 2 year old to have independent play in his room since he was happy to do so. He had done a poo and rubbed it into the carpet. I firmly told him no bad and out of the room so I could clean it. My oldest came in and I said go away from me since I was in overload

My second oldest was still moaning about the tv so I firmly said shut up and said it a few times.

Could this get me reported to social work?

‘Worried myself with shouting at the kids’. ‘During that time I shouted at the kids’. ‘I firmly said shut up and said it a few times’.

‘Ive never shouted at my kids’.

You’ve completely changed your story now people who are seeing the other side are commenting. If you’ve completely lied in your first post and haven’t been constantly shouting at them, and all the housing officers and police and god knows who else are completely on your side and they all think your neighbours are unreasonable, then why are you so scared they’re going to phone ss on you?

These comments are very normal, if your 2 year old was at nursery and was left unsupervised for any length of time you would not be happy.

Yes you may have vindictive neighbour issues but I think it's likely you would also benefit from some support from somewhere like Home Start.

😂😂😂😂😂 developmental thing to rub poo in the walls...my DC obviously are less developed than yours as tweens as they have never done this

@Aylestone because they are trying their hardest to make my life miserable it's what they do for fun. My neighbour was friends with the girl who stayed here before me said they did the same to her.

They are all on my side. But at some point they must ss or some authorities must think even if it's small and minor think yeah they must be saying it for a reason. People do maliciously don't that but surely when they are as determined as my neighbours are they have to say yeah sure we will do something just to get them to stop?

Im also so scared because I've seen people posting about how unfair social work are. Maybe it's all untrue but I never want to find out.

I don’t need to Google anything, I am educated in child development. Look at how it escalated.. you screaming at your two year old. It's not good OP. I really do recommend Early Help, everyone will benefit.

Reading more into your posts you’re contradicting yourself at event turn. I’ve never met a 2yo that’s capable of ‘independent play’ without supervision. You say that yours is right after you told us you shouted at him for shampooing the carpet with his own shit after being left unattended.

@FlippyFloppyShoe I read it in some child article when kids are developing they look into their poop and food also seen a lot of mums post about it

Have to say I hate the term 'shut up' it sounds truly awful to my ears and I feel extremely sorry for children when I hear them being spoken to like that. Plus using it to a 4 year old will just add it to their vocabulary and they'll be screaming it back at you before too long!

You’ve phrased it very nicely with words like ‘firmly said’ and ‘independent play’ but it sounds like you told the kids to shut up, shouted at them, left a toddler alone long enough to smear poo into the carpet, and are now concerned someone might have heard. You shouldn’t be speaking to the kids like that.

For what it’s worth, my eldest two are mixed race. I never worried about being reported to social work because they were mixed race because nobody would have had anything to report me to social workers for!

Feacal smearing is also due to behavioural issues OP. Maybe your 2 year old is lacking something from you somewhere??
If you are as good as a parent as your suggesting why post? Why the worry? It's not adding up.

Op on the surface of your thread it does seem unreasonable of the neighbours. But it only takes a scratch of the surface and a bit of reading between the lines to realise that something doesn’t seem right. Even if you weren’t yelling at them, do you think ‘firmly telling’ toddlers to ‘shut up a few times’ is acceptable parenting? I wouldn’t tell my 15yo to shut up, no matter how tempting it is sometimes. If you’re scared of the reaction of the housing officer, then why couldn’t you go with ‘not shouting at them’ (but clearly shouting at them loud enough to worry that they heard) for the single hour that they were there?

And I’ve got four kids and have worked with children for years - rubbing shit into the walls or carpet isn’t just a normal developmental stage that should be dealt with by shouting at the child.

Why don't you ask for help from social services - early help or home start now?

Then your neighbours will have nothing to report.

Not normal really, but a behavioural response to something

Independent play doesn't mean leaving them in a room and buggering off somewhere else in the house. You should still be there observing/supervising.

My two year old once took off her nappy after she'd done a poo and then stuck her happyland people in it and got it on the carpet in the 2 minutes that I'd taken her baby sister to the next room to change her. It takes no time for a toddler to make a massive amount of mess and it's not always easy to keep two small children contained and engaged in a single space. Most people leave their 2-3 year old child alone in a room for the odd minute even if it's just to nip to the loo (I know lots of people on mumsnet never do but that's not the case with anyone I have met in real life). I don't think independent play means playing in a different room though. It's usually just being left to get on with what they want to do and selecting their own materials/toys.

Overall you sound a bit stressed out and like maybe you could do with a little help. Kids can be frustrating and most people do occasionally lose their cool and shout or be grumpy with them. I don't think it's generally acceptable to tell kids to shut up though. When my daughter had her playing with poo incident I took both kids upstairs, got her cleaned up and then put her sister in her moses basket and gave her a snack to eat on the couch while I got the floor cleaned up. I explained poo is yucky and it can make us poorly if we play with it so she mustn't do that and that we would need to throw away the toys she'd stuck in it since it wasn't possible to clean them properly (this may have been untrue but I figured knowing sticking toys in poo leads to losing toys was a good natural consequence). I may have muttered ffs under my breath when I initially saw what she did but I wouldn't be angry with her or say she'd been bad when it was really my fault for leaving her to it while I did something else.

Play on their own, NOT unsupervised in their own room!! The two are completely different.

OP, I can only comment on my small corner of the world but it usually takes A LOT for the local authority to get involved with noise complaints etc. They don't come out and talk to people over a raised voice or kid's footsteps, it's usually sustained and severe noise complaints.

I suspect you're downplaying a lot on this thread and both you are hyper-focused on the poo thing.

It sounds like it was one of those days and you’re more sensitive and stressed about the kids being demanding because of the anxiety about the neighbours.
If you have a housing officer I assume it’s social housing - can you speak to them about getting a different place? The affect these neighbours are having on you is significant and you have a lot of documented evidence and support from the authorities.