Aibu to tell me Sister about these pictures?

[UptownFuckYouUp]

Posted in relationships but didn't get many answers, so posting here for traffic.

Bit of background to give you some context. I have two much older half Sisters, same Dad, different Mums. Dad was extremely physically, emotionally and verbally abusive when we were all growing up. I went a 5 year period without any contact with him and my Mum (my Mum because she knew most of the abuse was happening and did fuck all to stop it). But have low contact with them both now.
DSIS1 has a relationship with our Dad. DSIS2 cut contact with him last year after having her first baby. Because in her words "he has always been a danger to his 3 children and I also started feeling guilty with how he treated my Mum" I respect both my Sister's decisions.

Now for the issue. DSIS2 has a good relationship with her Mum as far as I am aware. She sends her pictures of her baby. All fine. But then her Mum sends these pictures to DSIS1, who sends them to my Dad. DSIS2 does not want my Dad to have pictures of the baby. My Dad has told me this himself. So I was expected to keep it hush hush about the pictures which I felt extremely guilty about. It's all come to a head with me tonight as my Dad has been badgering me to print a picture of my Nephew off onto a hard copy. I said no and told him I didn't want to do anything behind my Sister's back. I've now messaged DSIS2 to tell her that Dad has her Sons pictures and has been asking me to print them for him. Wibu to let her know? Worried about rocking the boat and it blowing up in my face, but I hated being made to keep a secret and felt my Sister should know

No, I don’t think you were wrong to do that. Your sister has a right to know that her family are not respecting her boundaries and wishes. Stepdad doesn’t deserve anything and he’ll keep getting away with ignoring boundaries because he always has done.

Hopeful bump?

I agree with @Greydogs123 - you did the right thing by letting your sister know.

No no no! Your sister has set a boundary and it’s your dads fault, if he wasn’t an arse he wouldn’t be in this situation.

Your sister needs to be told it’s her child.

You did the right thing. I'd want to know who has access to pictures of my child

I also wouldn't forward pictures of someone else's child, especially to someone they don't have a relationship with- so your sister is in the wrong

You will have to wait for her reaction when she gets back to you, I do feel like this will create some drama but it's not your fault she deserves to know.

I really recognise this because I used to be friends with two sisters one who spoke to the wider family and one who didn't and I ended up apologising for not feeling comfortable sharing pics of DC. The aunt in this case was very understanding and told me it wasn't my fault

You did the right thing!

Do you realise you have 2 threads going?

You absolutely did the right thing

The op says at the very beginning of her post that she also has a thread in relationships but didn't get many replies.

@eine yeah, I literally said so right at the start of this thread

Absolutely right not to print the pictures and DSis needs to know. I’m NC with my mother and would be furious if someone was giving her pictures of my children.

@Exhibity

Stupid me, I just ended up on the wrong one and was most confused

He must be extremely toxic for you, yourself to be out of his life for 5 years…you definitely did the right thing.

There will be deans of course but whatever was your sister thinking sending them in the first place?!.

dramas

Trampling boundaries and trying to get you to keep it a secret is just a continuation of the abuse isn't it?

Good parents don't do that.

@UptownFuckYouUp

Yeah I saw I'm the idiot I ended up on the other thread and got confused

I definitely think though OP if anything happens because of you saying something it's absolutely not your fault. I know what it's like to need to manage the flow of information in my own family too and I do get the old "why is my family like this?" myself

You have done the right thing

I'd have done the same as you. Her mum and other sister are in the wrong and I'd be furious with them both.

Yes, it’s absolutely right to tell her. I am NC with my mum and a close friend of mine spent years screenshoting photos of my children and sending them to my mum. I was so grateful to finally find out and I no longer have anything to do with the ‘friend’ and have blocked several other friends who I know keep in touch with my mum from social media so there is no way it can happen again.

Ultimately, as a parent, you get to choose who your children have in their lives. It’s not up to anyone else to think they know better and circumvent those decisions.

Thanks everyone. It's helpful to have an outside perspective when you're still caught up in the cycle of abuse. My Sister was grateful that I told her. My Dad still makes me feel like a scared little girl.

Be proud of yourself for doing the right thing op.

Well done OP. Your sister and her child have a right to privacy so you done the right thing.

Thank you everyone

You did the right thing.

Please end contact with your Dad. If he still makes you feel scared, the relationship is not worth it.

I'm so sorry you are going through that.