What age did you stop caring about what others think?

[taratatata]

As a teenager I was really good at not seeking validation from others, I really truly didn’t care what other people thought of me - looking back I suppose this might be quite unusual with how much pressure kids feel these days such as my nephew who has just started high school and needs all the latest fashion otherwise he feels he isn’t cool!

Despite how I used to be, I seem to have regressed as since the beginning of my 20s I seek approval for things like never before. I am constantly comparing to what I see on social media. Worrying I am not having enough ‘fun’, then worried I should take an extra qualification, then worried I’m not saving enough, then worried I’m not ‘travelling’ enough or doing what is expected by society.

Does not caring about what others do/think come naturally, or is it something you have found you needed to practise? Just curious really

Once I was in to my 30's I was past caring about other people's opinions.

I have got much better at not caring what others think since I turned 40 (now mid 40s).

Honestly, I’ve never worried about it but I think growing up in the dark ages helped that 🤭. Now I’m turning 50 this year and a single mum with DDs aged 13&10 and I really don’t have the time or energy to worry. I do my own thing and that suits me tbh.

Early 20s

I’d say when I turned 40. I have no fucks left to give to anyone who doesn’t deserve them and no time for drama. Things that don’t bring me joy can get lost.

I'm late 30s, and I'm still learning to say no and not give a shit if people don't like it. It's a work in progress, as my automatic response is to people please.

When I turned 40. My tolerance to people and lots of them/crowds has changed. I can’t stand being around lots of people and if there are too many people in my office ‘visiting’, I up and leave for a little walk.

I'm 60 now so not cared what others think of me for quite a few years now. I don't do Facebook was never interested in it or Instagram. I have 2 very close friends and family.
You mentioned comparing yourself to what you see on social media. This is the root of your problem, SM it's all made up bollocks. None if it's in the real world. Lay off the SM and I could almost guarantee you that your confidence will return..

I never did care about what people think, my Mother lived and died for worrying about other people's thoughts and had it rammed down our throats.

Four kids who never gave a single fuck.

Probably my mid/late-30s. It makes life so much happier!

birth really

ive always been a take no shit person and a night mare in school

i was diagnosed with ADD-inactive type 1 feb 2023 at 42 and oppositional defiant disorder(my son was diagnosed with this in 2012)but it took years of fighting for me to get anywhere

ive been told(and googled)i have a alpha female personality
which is all true

ive never "done" peer pressure and have always been me with no care what others think. never followed any one in school ,latest trends and i was a 90s teenager

ive always been a tom boy who's loved boybands

a complete atheist

ive never believed in marriage(been told im weird many times for that)as i believe it belittles women and take all their rights from them
had(my only ever)a partner for 22 years though

i have 2 kids 18 and 12 both have numerous coplex disabilities and we follow a alternative life style

attachment parenting and home education, its called radical unschooling ,there's actually thousands of us

home ed isn't to bad now but when i started in 2008(well 2004 really when son 1 was born as he never did nursery or school or childcare) it was classed as weird and no one knew it was a thing and i was actually breaking the laws.
ive been told that a millions times over the years

my life has been so stress free as i live it how i see fit not how society think you should live or follow the masses/sheep

Looking back probably when I was born, sure I hope I don't annoy people but I only care about people close to me, in return if I have a problem I am honest with them

I don't this reading things into situations or gossiping or dramas or whatever else seems popular these days

Definitely by my early 30s

40

I just know what I like, and what I like doing

I don't think I've ever really cared that strongly, I've always had high self esteem, confident in my own decisions and never felt the need to 'follow the crowd'. I also grew up well before Facebook (which I've never used anyway) and social media. But I've never been OTT in my views or behaviour ... but equally never felt the need to do things just to be seen to 'fit in'. One of the most important things I've learned is just as I don't like everyone I meet, I understand that not everyone will like me.

I will say tho, much as it’s been a great mindset shift to no longer care what others think, now it’s hard in a different was as I care what I think!!!! Turns out I’m harder to please 😂 !!!

I kind of find this a weird question as surely everyone should have some people in their lives whose opinions they value, be they friends, lovers, parents, colleagues etc.? Otherwise you probably need to consider the company you’re keeping. I’d hate to be in a situation where I didn’t have anyone to tell me that they thought I was making a massive mistake about an important decision. I remember my bff and I having a falling out in our twenties because she told me I was being a massive dick about another friend. I was livid at the time but when I reflected, she was right. I don’t think it’s necessarily beneficial to go through life not listening to anyone, even if it’s not always what you want to hear.

44/45 ?
It's very liberating

I don't think it's an age thing. It's down to your personality and most likely your your upbringing. If you were raised to people please then it'll be an upward struggle. I'm 32 and still find it hard to say no or set reasonable boundaries (especially with work) but it did become easier once I became a parent and had different priorities.

Since turning 40 but I'm still plagued sometimes. However with each episode I become stronger. I do want to be liked.

Im 48 and i gave up worrying years ago. The older i get i become less sociable too. I don’t go to places when I don’t want to, if it not m ideal if a nice day out, i don’t go.

I think this is down to the menopause, but i really dont care if I offend people anymore.

and it feels great!

Clearly need to take lessons from people who learned this skill at 40. I’m 40+ and I talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. At the end of the day (for me) it’s very difficult. I do care too much in general.

I'm like you, @taratatata and I don't think I've ever met anyone else the same.
I sometimes wonder if I didn't miss working through some developmentally important "worry what other people think" phase by being too socially detached in adolesence. And now feel stuck, since I started uni, with worrying so much about what other people think of me, my life choices, &c.
@MuddledMindy you've given me hope, I turn 45 this year!!

The general public? Some time in my early to mid-30s.

I don't think I'll ever stop caring what specific people - those that I care about - think of me, but that is different, because those are generally people who share the same morals as me.

I think we all care what others think to an extent, it's baked into us as social animals and was part of our survival when being part of a social group was the difference between life and death.

I've always been quite confident doing my own thing and not too concerned about the opinions of others, but I'd say even moreso since becoming a parent. Something about having grown and birthed and being responsible for this amazing person has made me care even less about what others think of me. I actively enjoy public tantrums haha. Don't care either way if what people think I'm doing with my parenting choices are right or wrong because they're choices I'm/We're making based on on our own beliefs and research. I've never felt more confident as a person, mentally and physically, since becoming a mother.