DSis has a 6mo baby who has born at 31 weeks (and is fine now). She also has a 10yo DD.
Ive always been concerned ever since DN1 (the 10yo) was tiny about DSis’s perception of safety. She was constantly forgetting to click the car seat in, always forgetting to strap her in the pram or highchair (I started to check the pram when I was with her as so many time she fell out and hurt her face for not being strapped in). She also let her go on a jet ski age 5 when we went on holiday (she snuck her on when she hired one), and would walk on the road with her pram facing traffic ‘to avoid dog poo’. DN1 has never had a serious injury but it really is from sheer luck rather than proper care. I was worried when DN2 was born and had hoped she’d learned a bit better (DN2’s dad also seems more switched on than DN1’s).
Anyway, although DN1 has made it relatively injury free to age 10 I’m now growing worried about DN2.
DSis has been on holiday this week and put some videos on social media. DN1 is swinging DN2 around from side to side and in big sweeping U shapes on the beach shouting ‘weeeee’. The poor baby looks terrified. Then ant a disco DN1 actually had the baby sitting on her shoulders only secured by 2 fingers under the armpits, jumping and dancing around as DSis coos encouragement from behind the camera. My heart was in my mouth watching the videos.
When I’ve been around them, I’ve told DN1 a few times not to tickle the baby so hard (she REALLY digs her fingers in to the point the baby is screaming) and DSis says “Oh she’s fine!” 🙄
For context: I feel DN1 has a bit of a nasty streak and won’t let my DD (9) or DS (6) play in their rooms alone with her after she’s done things like punch them in the belly and pushed them off their beds. I feel like she knows she shouldn’t be swinging a baby around like that, and with no parent to tell her to stop, she continues.
FWIW - I do obviously blame BIL too but I don’t know him well enough to broach the subject with him directly.
Seeing DSis tomorrow - do I say that I think she needs to be careful because DN1 is way too rough with the baby (especially with the ant being so premature!) and those videos had me on edge? Or keep my beak out of it all?