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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Has anyone deleted social media and felt happier?

39 replies

screamy817 · 10/04/2023 19:58

I’m 26 and sometimes when I’m out somewhere nice, I love to take some good pictures.
Sometimes I like to get some of me smiling, especially in scenic places, but when people tell me to pose or pretend to look away, I can’t do it. I feel like I don’t love myself enough 😂.
I see some girls I know who post 5-6 pictures a night, of them standing up against a wall, or lifting their leg up, or looking in the distance, or standing in a lift, anything. And I just don’t understand how that’s an enjoyable way to spend an evening? I also spend a lot of time with people who are out and they just sing into their cameras or make tiktoks (literally just them miming) and I don’t get it.

I keep seeing the majority of people I follow make themselves look like models with some of their poses and, whilst I don’t understand doing this, I can’t help but feel awful about myself. Some very plain looking girls making themselves look like models due to good lighting, insane make up and poses. I don’t care enough to do this but god does it make me feel ugly!!!

I’m thinking of deleting social media for this reason but I use it to keep up with my friends and I’m just not sure. Has anyone felt better for this?

OP posts:

tiggergoesbounce · 10/04/2023 20:05

Please dont feel awful about anything. I personally think social media can be really unhealthy that people spend so much time doing all this rubbish you list.

Live your life for your enjoyment not for validation of people on social media.

20painauchocolats · 10/04/2023 20:07

I would love to delete it but I am addicted to it and always end up re-downloading it. Completely see where you’re coming from and think it’s unhealthy for most people

daisydoods · 10/04/2023 20:11

I deleted all of mine almost 2 years ago and have felt a lot happier for it. With me, it was the constant home decor I loved that other people posted, which led me to thinking our whole house was a tip and needed uplifting all the time (it wasn't, and it didn't) I was also sick of everyone with perfect eyebrows and nice clothes 😂

shutthewindownow · 10/04/2023 20:13

I havnt had social media for five years. All it does is make you feel not good enough and I'm so much happier without it. Everyone is just obsessed with themselves I find it really ugly

Needmorelego · 10/04/2023 20:13

You don't have to do anything like what your friends are doing with social media (all that posing etc).
If they want to do it - then that's up to them.
You do what you want to do.
I use my personal Facebook page as a kind of scrapbook - photos of places/things I see, silly memes I like, picture of a book I have read etc.
My Facebook friends can see it (obviously) but I am doing it for me - not them.
I have a few Facebook friends that post a lot of inspirational quotes which I find a bit cheesy - but that's them. It doesn't affect me if that's what they want to post.
I like it as way of keeping in touch - especially with friends that I don't live close to. I wouldn't want to delete it.

lljkk · 10/04/2023 20:15

MN is social media. Forums are SM.
It's really easy on Facebook or Instagram to just unfollow ppl. Much harder to avoid certain other posters on MN, though.

PlasticPotPlant · 10/04/2023 20:17

I have no social media on my phone, and rarely access it on my computer. It has made me much, much happier.

I had to go cold turkey, but once over the withdrawal staying off it was easy.

I'd recommend a cold turkey rather than deleting approach, as it can be useful for getting in touch with some people at times.

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 10/04/2023 20:17

I don't have Facebook or Instagram. I do go on tiktok and follow some useful content creators, but I don't post anything or follow friends/family on it.

I really couldn't care less if someone I knew from school 2 decades ago, is on a night out.

Family and friends keep in touch on WhatsApp.

Speedweed · 10/04/2023 20:19

Yes! Deleted it a few years ago, and feel so much freer.

I used to post a lot and then worry about likes etc. It was like picking a scab of validation. Awful. When I was thinking of getting rid of it, the clincher was realising I had told all my real friends I had just been diagnosed with severe depression but my sm posts were exactly the same. So why was I performing for a load of people who weren't even really friends?! It was ridiculous.

Got rid, and haven't looked back.

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 20:19

Facebook etc is the pits. People have never been less happy (going by antidepressant use) and yet you'd never guess it on social media.

Authenticity in life is so important. Learning to accept yourself as you are and being ok with it. Learning to accept other people for how they are. Social media does exactly the opposite. People hide behind filters and use it as a means to prove something to themselves and others. It's not healthy and I feel usually comes from an attention seeking place.

I would highly recommend stepping away. You can still easily keep in touch with your loved ones.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 10/04/2023 20:19

I've deactivated my FB a few weeks ago and been so much happier. The same with messenger and deleted both apps. Anyone who wants to contact me can do on WhatsApp text etc. I have Instagram and I'm never really on it, I go in once every 2 weeks to check out the recipes my husband sends me on it. I have twitter but haven't been on since Nicola Bulley died, it was toxic 😢

33goingon64 · 10/04/2023 20:25

Deleted Twitter due to Musk-gate and feel much happier as a result. Still got FB as it's great for local information.

itsmellslikepopcarn · 10/04/2023 20:25

If I wasn’t a small business owner who relies on social media, it would 100% all be deleted.

Dacadactyl · 10/04/2023 20:31

Got rid of facebook over a decade ago. I'm 37 so was about the age you are now when I did it. Never got into Instagram, Snapchat or Tiktok (think they came along after I'd removed fb). Never missed it tbh.

Felt better for getting rid of it. At the time, all my mates were footloose and fancy free, flying off on hol every 2 mins and I was married with 2 kids. I might reactivate it when my kids are grown up and they're still in the toddler/young child stage 😂Nah, just kidding, I can't be bothered with it!!

Picassa · 10/04/2023 20:33

Stopped using social media a few years ago and feel very happy about that choice. Keep it to keep up to date with clubs/ activities for my children and to be nosey tbh but I don’t post a thing about my life and I’m happy, my children are happy. I take photos for my own memories not for content on an app

fizzandchips · 10/04/2023 20:38

I deleted FB a few days ago. I couldn’t cope with the lack of authenticity. A friend who, in real life, admits how unhappy he is in their marriage posting gushing tributes to their “better half” on FB was one of the final straws.
I feel unburdened having deleted it and wish I had done it earlier.

Miscellaneousme · 10/04/2023 20:42

I haven’t used SM for a few years and it’s much better for my MH. I do have a few people who seem only want to communicate via SM who I’ve lost touch with a bit (not for lack of trying on my part). It just all felt very superficial to me - those who want to maintain a meaningful relationship with me will return messages etc outside of SM and those who don’t, don’t.

Buttons0x · 10/04/2023 21:08

I'm 29 and I deleted mine when I was 20, and I've never looked back, it's so much less stressful and carefree! Anyone important would have my number ect if they needed to contact me or tell me/show me something, I used to be on it all the time because I was younger and I don't miss it at all Xx

JayniSummers · 10/04/2023 21:17

I'm off it all( other than twitter but I don't post on there) . Facebook and Instagram is full of happy photos of sad lives . Too outing to go into too much detail but I have two close friends who have in the past posted the most wonderful " making memories " type photos of their perfect relationships and perfect lives , whereas the reality in both cases was very very different , abusive, sexless relationships and indeed both of them at the times cheating on their partners . It made me take a look at my own life and the fake social media life and also made me question other posters in the same way . I've never been happier or more content , comparison is indeed the thief of joy . Also I've remarkably more time..........

Gigantasaurus · 10/04/2023 21:18

Yes, all gone and life is so much happier. Instead of sharing on social media I use those free photos apps and go fully old school and get them printed to put into albums.

Tearyouapartlikeahumancheesestring · 10/04/2023 21:19

I deleted Twitter and Instagram earlier this year and feel so much better for it. I ventured back onto Instagram recently and struck by how fucking dull and repetitive it was.

Simonjt · 10/04/2023 21:19

I have this and instagram, my instagram however is an adoption based instagram, rather than an all about me one, so I don’t post personal pictures etc and I don’t really follow anyone but other adoption groups, well known adopters etc, so I don’t really see the whole fake insta lives etc.

Picassa · 10/04/2023 21:19

JayniSummers · 10/04/2023 21:17

This! I know someone who was going through some really heavy, serious stuff but all of their Instagram posts were happy positive family time and if you had no idea what was going on behind closed doors you’d have thought they were in a Really good place. They were not! I never believe what I see on their anymore!

Sprinkles21 · 10/04/2023 22:32

I've found social media to be toxic for my mental health the majority of Instagram, Facebook, tiktok is all fake . I finally gave up Facebook two years ago and it's absolutely helped my self esteem, it's also nice being kept out of all the work drama.

Fairislefandango · 10/04/2023 22:41

I personally don't find Facebook or Instagram at all problematic. On FB I'm only friends with people I actually know, and none of them post fake, vacuous, show-offy stuff. If they did, I'd unfollow them immediately. Instagram I just use for following accounts about my hobbies - I don't interact with anyone.

If anything, MN is more problematic for me! I find it a massive tine drain, and I get dragged into argumentative threads on certain topics in spite of myself!

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