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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this what you hsve to do at work if your child is unwell?? Feel i might lose my job

61 replies

yournamepls · 10/04/2023 19:33

Or does it depend where you work?

I have been told I have to take annual leave when dc is off sick. I’m fast running out as he’s had everything going since January and his dad does absolutely zero childcare (we are separated and he pays maintenance).

what happens when I run out? Do I take sick leave? Could I end up losing my job because of this?

For context I’m in decent pay and love my job, I am really struggling mentally with the impact this is having.

OP posts:
bakingmummy21 · 10/04/2023 19:36

Can you take unpaid leave? Is this an option from your company and for you financially? Tbh I don’t know what they would expect you to do and I guess every company will differ. My company gives 10 days dependents leave per year for this type of reason eg unplanned child sickness which I am really grateful for. Is it worth checking with HR? Surely you aren’t the first parent working there who has faced this situation.

Albiboba · 10/04/2023 19:38

No, you don’t take sick leave if you’re not sick.
If you’re off to care for your children you take annual leave or unpaid carers leave.

Oysterbabe · 10/04/2023 19:38

I take unpaid parental leave.

ifeelimgoingmad · 10/04/2023 19:39

My old work we had to take it as sick leave! I ended up with a disciplinary!

Original poster
yournamepls · 10/04/2023 19:39

@bakingmummy21 thanks, ive not actually looked into the policy or raised it with HR yet, I was just told by my manager to book annual leave, but she won’t necessarily know if there’s another option. I will ask. Are you paid in full when you take those days?

OP posts:
TooOldForThisNonsense · 10/04/2023 19:39

You do have a right to unpaid time off for dependants, it may be worth looking that up online and showing your employer. How long have you been in your job?

Pixie2015 · 10/04/2023 19:40

Holiday or unpaid for me so I try to get grandparent’s to help

Original poster
yournamepls · 10/04/2023 19:40

@Oysterbabe thanks, is there a limit on that per year? Does every company have to allow that? I’m so sad about my work, I love it and I’m really struggling now.

OP posts:
Original poster
yournamepls · 10/04/2023 19:41

@TooOldForThisNonsense 6 years

OP posts:
Minimochi · 10/04/2023 19:41

I think it depends on where you work. When we were still in the UK, DH and I managed between the two of us most of the time but also had my inlaws come and help when we ran out of child sick days (they lived about 2 hours away at that point). When I returned to work and DS started nursery, he caught everything and I had to take days off. I was eventually threatened with capability procedures and a meeting with the governors should I have to take any more time off. (I quit shortly after...)
We moved abroad. My new employer is much more family-friendly and both DH and I get 20 paid child sick days a year each (that isn't employer-dependent). My boss has children, too, and they wouldn't make me feel bad for taking time off to look after DS. I don't take the piss with it and I'm only off when it cannot be helped. DH and I also share days to make it easier. We've not needed nearly as many days but it makes the whole thing a lot less stressful.

Singularity82 · 10/04/2023 19:41

@yournamepls really feel for you OP. Can’t imagine how difficult it is juggling being a single parent and work.

Suzi888 · 10/04/2023 19:42

LA and it’s either unpaid leave or leave but staff will go sick themselves and lie rather than lose pay and I don’t blame them!

TooOldForThisNonsense · 10/04/2023 19:43

yournamepls · 10/04/2023 19:41

@TooOldForThisNonsense 6 years

Well that’s good, because they can’t just get rid of you on a whim x

Tarantella6 · 10/04/2023 19:43

Holiday
Unpaid leave
Send dc to nursery dosed up and hope they make it through the majority of the day, and if you have to leave early make the hours up another day / at home
Grandparents
Emergency nanny (£££)

Obviously some of these options depend on how sick dc is!

Burgoo · 10/04/2023 19:44

Maybe check the policy before asking us?

HewasH2O · 10/04/2023 19:45

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Your employer doesn't have to pay you for time you take off with a sick child. Your company should have a clear policy, so arm yourself with it. Also check whether your child care provider will have closure days as you will also need to factor these in. One local nursery shuts for two weeks in the summer and for a week at Christmas to give their own staff time off and the chance to do maintenance etc.

Time off for family and dependants

Your legal right to time off to care for dependants - when you can take time off, how long you get, your rights

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

DewinDwl · 10/04/2023 19:46

Public sector here. We can take unpaid leave for a maximum of 3 days a year; then it's annual leave. Once a colleague, single parent, ran out of annual leave due to a bad run of child sickness like the one you describe OP. They had to make up the hours lost when they came back to work.

MeliaLane · 10/04/2023 19:46

Unpaid leave or annual leave.
Not sick leave as the policy is only one occasion in 6 months otherwise attendance management procedures start. Breaching this would put my job at risk.
(Public sector)

You need to check out all associated policies.

UnsureSchool32 · 10/04/2023 19:48

we used a combo of parental leave and annual leave. And then the odd like afternoon where we had to do an emergency pick up our employers let us go.

I was one of like 2 working mothers (sales) the rest were men or young childless people. The other working mother had more home support (her mum would do days when their child was poorly) my in-laws couldn’t help due to their own vulnerability to colds etc.

it was a difficult and expensive time. Especially when double whammied with an unpaid day that was a nursery day!

Bumply · 10/04/2023 19:49

Where I worked when my kids were little I had the choice of taking paid or unpaid leave, although the first time ds2 was in hospital for a few days with asthma flare up they took pity and let me have it as paid time off - nit sure what they put it through as, as it wasn't the norm.

BigFatLiar · 10/04/2023 20:04

Long time since ours were little. I worked away a lot so it was OH who tended to take time off when they were ill. Fortunately we also had my parents nearby and they would help. These days we have one of our daughters not too far away and are happy to help if she needs us to look after the GC.

AngeloMysterioso · 10/04/2023 20:06

This is why I work nights.

CreepyDibillo · 10/04/2023 20:10

What's your job, OP? And how old is your child?
I/DH work from home when child is ill - we are in jobs where we can work from home when needed though, this obviously makes a big difference to how easily we manage the day. 'Officially' I am not supposed to do this but as long as I can still get a day's work done (and I can 99% od the time), it's not an issue as far as my boss is concerned.

Rumplestrumpet · 10/04/2023 20:10

It's really shitty and I feel for you OP. Like others I pulled jn all thr help just could get, but usually thrbkods just wanted cuddles with Mamma. We have a nanny now which changes everything (thankfully she's never off sick herself!).

See what unpaid leave you can take and if you have to pull the odd sick day I'd justify it by being 100% committed and hard working the rest of the time.