What can your 13 month old do?

[Saltired]

My kid has their 15 month assessment coming up and can do very few of the things on the checklist.

For the record, I think he’s developing appropriately and I’m not a FTM. However, now the checklist has me slightly puzzled.

For example, he can’t do many of the communication ones; but he does do baby signing to communicate, which isn’t on the list. So if he wants more food, he will sign it, but because he doesn’t point at it, I can’t tick the box.

Similarly, he can’t tick off the majority of the gross motor ones, since he can’t walk. But that’s completely normal at his age!

Another one which has me pausing is the “hugging” one. It specifically asks about hugging a soft toy, which he doesn’t do, but he does hug parents/siblings. So do I tick that or not?

When I tally them up he can do 7 out of 30. I consider his development normal - he interacts well with others (non verbally) he can play simple games like pat-a-cake, he can act out nursery rhymes like twinkle twinkle, head shoulders knees and toes etc, he can cruise around furniture and walk with support, he has been self feeding with cutlery for months now, and so on.

As I say, I’m not overly worried because he’s not my first baby, but do the expectations seem a little high/overly specific? Or am I being a bit harsh when I’m “assessing” him and should mark off similar skills even if he doesn’t do specifically what they are asking?

I'm not sure what the AIBU is, but I think the hugging a toy thing might be about pretend play rather than hugging in general. If he's only 13 months it's probably not that surprising he isn't doing all the 15 month things, though?

Personally, I think all kids develop at their own pace. My daughter started walking later than others but is now potty trained earlier than others. Don't get too worried 😊

My DD only started crawling when she was 13 months old (walking at about 18 months) but like you, I wasn't concerned at all about her development. As a PP has said, there can be a big difference between a 13mo and a 15mo.

Who asked you to complete this questionnaire?

Just posting here for traffic and also because I feel like the requirements are very specific and could make some people, particularly inexperienced parents, feel rubbish.

I did wonder about whether it was assessing imaginative play or social skills like hugging, however the section it was entitled personal-social, and was tied in with things like helping to dress, reciprocal play (ball rolling) and self feeding.

The questionnaire is to be completed between 13 months and 0 days and 14 months and 30 days. My child is pretty much in the middle of the range.

I find it strange that people take the checklists so personally, they're there just to flag up any difficulties a child is having to advise a health visitor to look more closely or consider referral where needed. I worried about them with my eldest because he has some health challenges but he developed remarkably early, and thank goodness because my anxiety was off the charts so ticked ALL the boxes at a yr old. Interestingly I think it's pretty likely he has ADHD and starts school in August so it'll be down to how he comes with all of that, so smashing it at 12onthw doesn't rule out later issues.

My youngest I was entirely chilled, she ticked fewer boxes but was well within normal development limits.

If there are development issues it's better to know so any necessary intervention can be arranged.

Pointing is different to asking and is a specific milestone for example and hugging a toy is different developmentally than hugging a person. That's why they're specific.

Not particularly worried, as I say. Some parents will be worried though. My eldest was a non crawler, went straight to walking from bum shuffling, but was slightly older. She was an early talker though!

Mine is older than 15 months but at the time I thought the list was oddly specific. My DC didn't point or wave at that age, but is school age now and has developed normally.

He’s slap bang in the middle of the age range for the assessment to be completed; it’s pretty lengthy and you have to “practice” the skills so I’ve just been ticking things off as we go along - I’ve not marked anything he can’t do yet, I’ll do that just before his appt.

The health visitor sent it. It’s to be done before his 15 month checklist, which is standard for all children in our area. It’s not due to any sort of concern or anything.

What made you think I was taking it personally? I’m just curious, that’s all. Of course I’d want to know if there was a developmental issue; but I’m pretty certain there isn’t despite the fact it appears as though there is based on the survey.
Im asking if maybe I’m being excessively harsh when scoring him, that’s all.

Nobody who has interacted with him has ever thought he was “behind” including early years professionals, so I find it a bit odd, that’s all.

Yeah I think he sounds normal.

I didn’t even do the postal 10m check, I would have for my older 2 as I was on top of everything, and I would have attended if it was in person.

DD has just turned 1 and has a few sounds we know what they mean, has a few signs and that’s it. She’s just learnt to walk this weekend. Shes been climbing the stairs for a while. She’s my latest to walk - I have walkers not talkers and she had hip dysplasia so I’m pretty surprised she’s walking already.

She hugs toys (and our portable speaker it seems 🤷🏻‍♀️), likes books, but other than that she just bumbles around clapping.

I don’t ever remember my eldest pointing, lol.

I suppose my son can point though, because if I ask him for a body part that he knows, he’ll point at it. But again, the question is asking me if he points to something to ask for it, and no he doesn’t. He signs for it.

One of the questions ask if thy can put a crumb or a cheerio into a small clear bottle 😂 it’s SO specific. And I kind of feel like a health professional should be doing it, not a parent, because many parents would just tick off similar skills without considering WHY it is so specific. Which I guess is my main gripe.

And let’s face it, parents can be ridiculous. At one of my baby classes, someone claimed their 6 week old baby could “stand” because their legs straightened towards the ground if they held it under its arms. Another claimed their similarly aged baby could “wave” because it flailed its arms around when upset.

That’s pretty much where we are at.

This is a posted out form that I’ve to complete before a home visit which is in a few weeks. With my daughter it was at least at the clinic and they had all the things on hand for her to demonstrate, but there are so many things required I wonder how many parents actually have them all! Off the top of my head you need a soft toy, crayons, a book, stacking blocks, a ball, a large bowl, a small clear bottle, cheerios or crumbs.

Yeah I remember going out and buying cheerios specifically to test my first born 😂

It's the 'is there too too much pressure, is it too specific' bit, because no, it's there to flag up possible issues so it is a medical questionnaire which gives a score to flag or not flag concerns. Very few kids rock all the boxes. My eldest ticked everything on every questionaire ever and as I say he has a seizure disorder and possible ADHD so it's not foolproof but it'll flag up certain things.

That doesn’t mean I’m taking it personally. What I mean is receiving an assessment through the door with no context, no explanations, no further instructions beyond a statement with a tick box beside it, is difficult for a non professional to understand what specifically they are looking for. Posting the survey out for parents to do is meaningless; if they want so assess specific things they should invite the parents to the clinic with all the required equipment and assess it themselves.

The form is designed for professionals, or professionals to use WITH parents, not for parents to complete independently.

Is it the ASQ you're doing? You could always leave blank any that you aren't sure on, and ask your health visitor at the check up.

They are mostly set up as little tests that you can do, so for example with the hugging one, you would hand them a soft toy and see what they do with it. It is specifically about toys, not people, I think that one is about whether or not they know that a toy is a representation of a person.

What I wish they would explain when they hand these out is that it is not the kind of quiz where your baby is expected to get "full marks". In fact the threshold for concern with the communication section is very low - they only need to get 3x "sometimes" or 2x "yes" to pass it without there being major concerns, and 3x "yes / 6x "sometimes" to pass that section with no concerns at all. If they meet the shaded area, then it just means watch and wait (most children will catch up naturally). Skills do not progress in a linear way one after the other all in the same order, which is why they want to see how your baby is developing broadly across one area. It's very normal not to have any words yet at 14 months, but some babies will, so that's why they ask about it as one of the areas that communication might be developing. Some babies would develop productive language sooner than receptive, and some the other way around.

Mine could do bog all at that age.
Now at 9 he’s a little genius.

Kids develop at different speeds.

But didn't your health visitor go through it at the visit? Ours sent it out so we could be aware what they'd check then on the day we talked through it

I completely agree with this. They should allow more time for the appointment and do the forms in the appointment. In fact I'm sure that's what they used to do when my 14yo was doing these check ups.

I'm guessing it's just another casualty of underfunding and under-resourcing.

Hi how was her communication like speech and gestures