AIBU?
I just want some opinions on my current situation. I share ds3 with his dad, he has him every other weekend. For background that might be important to note, we were never romantically involved with each other before or since. It was one night and we live in the same town and have mutual acquaintances. However we’ve successfully co-parented DS for the last few years with near to no conflict. We’re very friendly at pick up and drop off’s. There’s no messaging apart from talking about child arrangements. But it’s very pleasant, polite- able to have a laugh. No bad feelings at all. He’s very friendly with my current partner who lives with me, ds and our new baby. I’ve always encouraged ds and his dads relationship, he knows the door is always open to have him.
He regularly sees another women and her daughter who’s a similar age to ds, for play dates I imagine. Although I don’t know the extent of their relationship. I haven’t asked, it’s not my business. However this women has around 130K followers on Instagram and she does ‘Onlyfans’. Just in case some people reading this thread are unaware..it’s a very popular platform for people to sell sexual content. So her Instagram is full of very explicit pictures of herself and links to her selling page. It’s advertisement basically. Those followers consist of all types of men, ghost accounts and other sex workers.
I try not to judge although I wouldn’t associate myself with this person, she takes long holidays away from her dd 2 for weeks at a time and has major issues with her ex. I know this because they often air their dirty laundry on social media- another reason I’d stay clear.
Now during her time spent with my DS and his dad she has taken photos of him and posted them for her 130k following. To note, she doesn’t post her own child and often hides her face if she does with an emoji. I messaged her directly and said exactly “can you remove this picture of ds, don’t mean to be rude I’m just not cool with it”
She replied and told me I was being rude as I didn’t say please.
It’s my child though right? Should I have to say please?
Some might ask if ds dad is okay with it. He’s a bit oblivious to the dangers of social media so he’d probably not think anything of it. He did tell her not to do it again though which I appreciated. Anyway, this happened another 3 times. I messaged her each time asking for it to be taken down- I even said please and thanks! The most recent time she blocked me so I can no longer see. I spoke to ds dad and told him I feel upset and uncomfortable. He told me he understands and that he’d talk to her. But since then, a friend of mine who follows her let me know that she’s uploaded a series of photos of ds.
I post ds on my private account, my following is strictly family and friends. I’m okay and comfortable with that. Ds dad has a reasonable following and I know he posts ds when he has him. He did block me from seeing his stories. I’m not sure why, I never asked. I trust he’s looked after so it doesn’t bother me having no contact when ds is away or seeing pictures.
I messaged ds dad and told him our friendship is over. I feel so disrespected and upset by the situation. This women is being spiteful, why would she carry on posting against my wishes? She can’t be a good friend to him if she’s causing him issues? I’m not sure why she couldn’t message back the first time and say “sorry of course no worries!” It would have been done and dusted, everyone’s happy.
It’s horrible having strangers post your little one on an Instagram sex page against your wishes. I even told her she’s free to post on her private family account, the account that she posts her own child on.
I feel quite helpless. I don’t want my child around her but this is out of my control. So aibu? Any advice?