ExDP, DS’ dad, has never actually committed to seeing him in advance. He can’t agree times or days, it’s constantly ‘at the end of x month’ or ‘perhaps in a couple of weeks.’ This is stressful for me, mainly because I had an awful time with him in the relationship and having to go back and forth like this is stressful. The obvious thing would be to say ‘let me know in advance when you want to see ds,’ then not get in touch with him. But he will then get in touch with more vague ideas of an upcoming arrangement. I know it’s not technically abusive of him but it certainly feels that way. Aside form the fact I can’t plan anything in advance, and feel like I have to jul to his tune for DS’ take, I am also worried about the inconsistency for Dd as he gets older (he’s 3 now). I know there’s no formal way I can cope with this but any ideas how to move forward and deal with this dipping in and out? Sometimes he will go weeks without seeing him and other times he will see him every other week. Never overnight and always kn his terms.