Sick of the Love Island aesthetic

[Raspberryclouds]

Don't know what else to call it, and don't want to name names or post pictures of people as that's unfair but it's everywhere and makes me feel inadequate.
They've all got a tan, gleaming white teeth, microbladed eyebrows, mermaid hair (they never have short hair like me!)
Plump lips, false eyelashes, freckles, perfect cheekbones and perfect figures, flawless skin. Oh and all have these perfect tiny noses whereas mine is wide.
I know a lot of it is Instagram/filters but most of them look the same in reality.

I feel like some sort of potato in comparison because it seems that this is what's considered attractive. I live in Manchester city centre and there are ten a penny slim, statuesque stunning women with long flowing hair going on a night out.
I didn't think I was awful, but just feel so basic and unremarkable.
I can't afford to get consistent beauty treatments, eyelashes are expensive, I put a fake tan on myself but can't afford constant spray tans, constant teeth whitening and so on.
I need to learn to be happier with what I've got, but just feel so dull, does anyone else feel like this.

Everyone judges everyone. People do not walk around with their eyes closed and never having an opinion on anyone.

Everyone encounters intelligent, successful women in their everyday lives, doctors, teachers, businesswomen. We seem on JB public life, such as politicians, scientists, C-suite execs. How many look like this. Not many, and for good reason.

It’s no different to successful men not choosing to look social media guys. Because they would look ridiculous.

@Raspberryclouds I've got hundreds of unwanted freckles, I'll post them to you.
Just make a small change to your appearance, style your hair a different way, try a new colour of lipstick or something. Sometimes a tiny change can make you feel better.

I bet you look absolutely lovely as you are, OP.

@RedEyeBaby why the need for the snide, judgy, "I don't have that time, I work / play with my children" comment?
You have literally no idea about these women's (not girls if they were in their 30s!) lives. Why on earth would you assume because they have curled hair and nails that means they don't work or play with their children?
Most 30 year olds need to work!

Perhaps they don't have any children, or perhaps they had them young so their kids are in their teens so they don't need to be supervised while mum curls her hair. Perhaps they don't usually spend as much time on their appearance but seeing as they were in a group on a train they made the effort for a rare day/night out. Perhaps they work in the beauty industry so doing their own hair/make up well is part of their work. You have no idea.

Of the friends I know who do things I don't (because we have different priorities they make the time to focus on these things, usually at the expense of their own relaxation/other interests rather than ignoring their kids. e.g. my friend who's a gym bunny wakes up ridiculously early every morning to go to the gym before the kids are awake, or does a class in her lunch time at work. My friend who is very house proud whizzes round the house every evening after the kids are in bed while I watch TV. Another does overtime to be able to afford a cleaner. I might think it's a waste for my friend to spend £30 every 3 week on having her nails done (because it doesn't last and the idea of sitting that long in a salon when you could be doing anything else seems like torture to me) but for her its an inexpensive treat that gives her a bit of pleasure every time she looks at her hands and adds to her image at work - she probably thinks me spending the equivalent on books I whizz through in a day or two and don't then read again is as silly - but we don't judge each other because we realise every one is different and life would be boring if we were all the same!

My sister spends a fortune on nails and hair whereas I couldn't care less - she also spends way more time doing crafts and things with her kids than I do because I absolutely hate doing stuff like that whereas she loves it.

Some great points here OP. Be you.

Remember, many others don't find this attractive- we're all attracted to different things. From one perspective, DS1 is traditionally very handsome (he just is. DH and I are very ordinary-he just won the genetic lottery 😆) and would actively avoid the aesthetic you describe. His girlfriend wears no make-up, has no fakery and dresses like a typical student- she is naturally beautiful.

I've noticed they only have one facial expression that seems to be manageable: sometimes animated by turning the head 90 degrees, the eyes flicking left to right to check that is the right response.

I used to have a ‘normal’ nose. I never noticed it. My husband said he liked it a few times but I never even thought about it, for decades.

I messed about with Instagram filters on a few occasions, just to see what I looked like with their edits. Now I HATE my huge, wide nose. Every time I look in the mirror I see how huge it is. I also see deep wrinkles and bad teeth.

Social media editing and beauty standards are toxic. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and reasonable person and the impact these things have had on me is huge. I feel desperately sorry for our youngsters growing up with these things and thinking it’s normal. It’s so dangerous.

I don't.

Seeing such people who are sheepishly following some fashion and/or tv show makes me feel sad in a way. Reminded every time of the stupidity of following ridiculous fashions every time I see someone in jeans where they have cut off the bottom two or three inches because it was fashionable in 2019 or 2020.

I see someone sporting that look and immediately assume they aren’t too bright? That’s the vibe it gives me. As an employer would certainly colour a first impression.

Stop comparing yrself to exceptionally beautiful people who have had their beauty enhanced, it’s a competition u r setting yrself up to fail in.
Work to enhance aspects u r happy with and camouflage those u rnt.

They all look the same though IMO... who could be arsed with that much maintenance. Happy being a frumpy potato

Quite a few look like this, actually. Unless you mean specifically in the UK, although I’m not sure you’ve assessed them all on their appearance in order to make that judgement call.

I can have an opinion on whether someone looks good or not, but that’s as far as it goes. I don’t make assumptions on their personal lives, psychology, or intelligence because I don’t know them. It seems fucking odd to think that my not liking the way someone looks is indicative of a fault on their part, or that my building some fantasy in my head about how miserable their life must be/how poor a character they must have/how superior I am in comparison is a psychologically (!) healthy response.

The vast majority of it is fake! Fake lips, plastic chest, orange face paint, daft eyelashes, painted eyebrows, botox here and there. I find it VERY unattractive! I don't understand why so may women pay a fortune to look like a plastic bimbo. The natural look is FAR more attractive regardless of how you perceive yourself.

OMG you just quoted two ugly women 😐I don’t understand how anyone finds those two beautiful.

I wouldn’t want to look like anyone off love island! They all end up looking the same and imo awful!

Are they really exceptionally beautiful? If they're naturally beautiful then yes, otherwise they're just fake.

Spot on.

Thanks for your comment.
Nothing I wrote was intended to be judgemental, and unfortunately in reading the written word you can't hear my tone of voice, but I wasn't being snide either.

Those ladies had the time and/or money to look that well-maintained. I don't. I should be able to make that distinction without being accused of being snide. It's not a case of, if I can't have it, no-one should. I could probably find time somehow if I really wanted. The OP is pointing out that she doesn't like the aesthetic. I pointed out that the look is largely a bought one, so no woman should feel inferior because with some money for products and time to apply it, or go to a salon, any one of us could look just like that.

I don't want to personally. I think it looks pretty, but I don't want to begin having to maintain something that I'd struggle to keep up, and I don't want to feed into the idea that ONLY women who look like that are pretty.

Love Island is like a beauty contest, I don't personally find it that interesting, particularly as they do indeed all look very alike.

Is there anything to stop you getting a fake tan, microbladed eyebrows, false eyelashes and growing your hair if that’s what you want? (Not that you or anyone needs to do that to look attractive).

Do you actually want to look like that, though? Do you want to spend precious time and money fussing over yourself just to conform to fashion trends, the beauty industry, and the male gaze?

I guarantee every one of the women you envy is achingly insecure in their own skin, too - always the type to panic leaving the house without a face full of makeup. The flowing long locks are fake, the fluttering eyelashes are fake, the glowing tan is fake, and even their nose can be fake. And often the more they change themselves, the more dissatisfied they become until everything is tweaked and their natural good looks are destroyed. That sounds a horrific way of living to me.

The trick is to achieve contentment with the body you have and find a style that works for you. It takes effort and thoughtful exploration but I believe it makes you richer with self-worth in the long run.

They put a lot of effort and money into looking like this. We could all look like tanned, fake nailed clones if we wanted to but I couldn't be arsed to do it, could you ?

👏👏👏

Rightly or wrongly I judge that any woman sporting this look is completely vacuous. A PP said her daughter and her friends look like this but are all highly educated professionals and I can't help but think, yeah right. I've never seen a GP or a solicitor looking like they're off Love Island.

I wouldn't want to look like that in a million years.

Very well paid chavs, but yes, a chav nonetheless.

100%