Baby names - regret not adding my own family name!

[MarleneH]

Hi Mumsnetters,

i don’t know what I’m trying to achieve from this post, but here we go.

we had a little baby last year, we named him Albie George. I love both names, especially George I see it as a lovely old traditional name, pretty royal too.

whilst there was no pressure on me to call him these names, I very much chose them off my own accord, My DH’s Grandfather happens to be ‘Albert’. We didn’t name the baby after him at all, and I think everyone gets that. Middle name George is his other grandfathers name, again, I chose this because I loved it, DH actually didn’t care about the middle name and let me choose it completely. As I said, I just love George. I think it’s a lovely name.

as I sit here almost a year on, it’s only just hit me that I have had 2 family names from my DH’s side, and nothing from mine. Im thinking now I should’ve added my father or grandfathers names, but when I chose Albie’s name, I chose names I loved not because it’s a link to DH family.

to add to it, DH family have always had a weird grudge against me, I particularly don’t get on with MIL and DIL. Which makes this situation worse. Absoloutley nothing against his grandfathers though (1 of which has been dead years). But I can see MIL and DIL delighted and telling everyone the baby was named after their fathers. Which is not the case at all.

I just feel pretty rubbish that I didn’t add my own family name.
its too late to make the change now.

no more children are on the cards, DH has been sterilised.

as I stated at the beginning, I don’t know what I’m looking for from this post, but please be kind. I feel very shitty about it. X

I don’t really understand your issue. You mention several times that it was basically a coincidence and you didn’t give the names after the relative so imo they don’t really count as family names if that wasn’t the intention.
You picked the names you wanted, i honestly don’t see what you’re trying to make into a problem. It sounds like you’re making your dislike of some of your in-laws make this feel like a ‘loss’ even though you named your child what you wanted.

Add a name if you want to, its not too late.. My nephew is 9 and my brother and sister in law just got married, they changed his hyphenated last name to one name and added the other as a middle name.

Tbh though, I love the name james which is ex-fil's name and ex-dp middle name, but i couldn't have used it ever as said james has always been an arsehole .

Add another name from your families side. If your baby is younger than a year old you can have a new birth certificate printed.

Sorry, I don’t understand either. You chose 2 names you loved, which completely coincidentally had links to your DH’s family ( plus your own grandfather as it happens.) However if it bothers you, I don’t think it is too late to change. I understand you have up to a year to amend a birth certificate and even then you can change a child’s name after that if both parents agree. Add another middle name if it will make you feel better.

This might help if you do want to change / add

https://www.madeformums.com/baby/parents-change-babys-name-after-family-struggle-to-pronounce-it/

I think you need to try and put this out of your mind. You love your babies name, he wasn’t named after anybody, you don’t need to change it. Never mind about what MiL or SIL say, it doesn’t hurt you.

I misread the bit about “my DH’s grandfather” as “my grandfather” but the rest of what I said still stands since it was coincidental. Go ahead and change it, it’s not too late!

I can’t change now as baby is over a year old. I wouldn’t want to start messing with deedpoll etc either.
I don’t know what I’m after by posting this.

i suppose I feel guilty on my family’s part for not having a family name of my own. But I personally don’t like a list of names for middle names. 1 middle name is enough for me.

I think that you will benefit from just letting this go.

You don't want another middle name, fine. You like the names, fine.

What are the possible names for boys from your side? Do you even like them?

If you did, that would have come up when you were choosing names.

That’s true. When albie was placed on my chest ‘albie george ‘ was the first name to come to my head. So I went with that.

I just feel a little bit sad I suppose that I never incorporated one of my Grandfathers into it, or even father. But both my grandfathers and father have names that aren’t really names you’d call a child today. As I said I went with George because it was traditional, classic etc and I needed that with ‘albie’ being quite a Nick-namey name.

Silver lining, these are DH grandfathers names and not fathers (DIL). I’ve met his living grandfather who is lovely & showers us with gifts and money even though we say no. His other grandfather is dead and has been as long as we’ve been together. So I suppose we didn’t go with ‘Tony’ or Antony after DIL..lol

FIL* not DIL! 🙈🙈

I’ll rephrase.. at least we didn’t go with FIL name, just grandfathers. Silver lining