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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I have given him the Easter Egg?

15 replies

hadenuff123 · 09/04/2023 18:24

DS, age 15, refuses to go to sleep (went to bed at 4:30 am this morning), refuses to leave the house on anyone else's terms other than his own, calls me names, throws and breaks things and generally will not cooperate unless he is on gadgets or 100% getting his own way.
We've just had two days of the absolute worst behaviour so when he finally got up today (after midday, despite having made an arrangement to meet his Gran to collect his birthday gifts earlier in the day) I didn't give him an egg.
He has kicked off big time and my husband says I'm unreasonable, particularly given the lack of egg is now being used as a reason not to cooperate with anything this evening.

OP posts:
jc12689 · 09/04/2023 18:28

Yanbu. He needs to learn his actions have consequences. I'd be changing the WiFi password.

Russyred · 09/04/2023 18:29

A withheld chocolate egg is the least of your worries

BabaBooPuffinsRock · 09/04/2023 18:29

YANBU. Sounds like you're trying to put boundaries in place after a long time of not having any or not having enforced them consistently. This will always generate a lot of resistance at first. Keep at it. DH really needs to be on board.

Singleandproud · 09/04/2023 18:30

Does he have any additional needs such as PDA? If not, and he's just your average stroppy teenage I think you did the right thing. Everytime he kicked off like that I'd change the wifi/take his charging leads.

Qhaecciarr · 09/04/2023 18:31

YANBU. Actions have consequences and the sooner he learns that and behaves appropriately, the better. I'd have done the same.

Curseofthenation · 09/04/2023 18:35

You aren't being harsh, you're being too soft. I agree with the removing WiFi idea.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 18:36

He's kicked off over an egg?

Starlightstarbright1 · 09/04/2023 18:36

Mine ate his when i picked it up from Aldi over a month ago i have not replaced it .

I agree with the poster bigger issues than the egg - i am in the same position but there are additional needs- Its a bloody tough road you have my sympathies -

I would eat or donate the egg - otherwise at this point they consider it to just be a delay

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 18:44

He sounds a nightmare, but please don’t be hard on him about the sleeping hours he keeps, that’s normal for a teen, and even for some adults like me. Probably little he can do about that one. The rest of it though - you have my sympathy. x

Singleandproud · 09/04/2023 18:57

What's keeping him up until 4:30? If it's gaming I'd be turning the wifi off overnight and taking the lead to bed with me if it's easy to access.
Perhaps you could look at his diet (or the bits you influence) obviously not going to help if he goes to the shop and chugs a can or two of monster at what should be bedtime.

You have to stick to upholding boundaries and expect him to kick off for upto a month before it starts making a difference, don't give up boundaries are so important for teens. However, you need to make the sanctions known and clear before implenting them ie if you call me names or are disrespectful then X, Y, Z will happen. If you smash things in the house in anger, X, Y Z will happen.
Then next time he starts to be disrespectful you warn him and tell him he is about to cross the line if his behaviour continues he will receive the agreed sanction. Then if he carries on sanction him, this method gives him the opportunity to change his behaviour, you have to be calm though and matter of fact you can't let him rile you up and get in a discussion about it and you can't let him dysregulate you and get in a shouting match, its a method used in lots of Secondary schools for behaviour management. Then the key to this - catch him being good just like you would a toddler, when he does not blow up and he shows a positive behaviour praise him and be explicit, I'm proud of how you kept your temper etc. It sounds like pandering but overtime it really works, aim to praise him at least 5 times a day and eventually you'll get a sustained behaviour change.

2ndGenerationHomeEducator · 09/04/2023 19:17

How long are you planning on taking his devices off him? Make sure it's awhile, will be rough initially but you'll see an improvement when he has less screen time.
As above, keep WIFI off overnight when he gets his devices back.
I think you know you're not being unreasonable about the egg, but if you need reassurance, you are not bring unreasonable. There are many issues here, the egg isn't one of them.

Original poster
hadenuff123 · 09/04/2023 22:31

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your responses.

OP posts:
Marchsnowstorms · 09/04/2023 22:44

Eggs are for little kids

Marchforward · 09/04/2023 22:45

You’ve got bigger issues than Easter egg.

threeplusmum · 09/04/2023 22:45

Oof better you than me!

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