AIBU to try and involve the groom in wedding planning?

[Eaudeplaydoh]

I didn’t want a big wedding, DP did. For some reason I agreed to a dry hire barn venue (I think I thought it would be easier to adapt the day to what we wanted). Huge mistake.

We both agreed to share the planning however despite splitting the jobs evenly, every single supplier will contact me for information. The ones I have been communicating with are happy to have meetings alone, however the ones that DP is communicating with always want both of us to be there for zoom calls. They have my email from initial forms but often email only me.

Family are trying to help “me”, when I say DP is organising that they say “I will do that instead, he won’t do it”.

He’s able to hold down a good job so I don’t think it’s beyond him.

Wedding is in August but honestly I am just so fed up! Everyone is being lovely and kind so I feel totally stroppy.

I can understand the suppliers etc wanting the bride's input tbh. Is he actually getting on with the planning? Is it your family or his who are taking over his jobs?

My dh and I set up a joint email the wee used for wedding prep so we were both informed of what was happening and could reply to vendors easily. Speak to your oh and if vendors contact you, ask him to go back to them.

Sadly they’ve probably dealt with too many bridezillas in their time to deal with the groom alone 😬🤷‍♀️.

Tell him you want a registry office job because organizing it is a lot of hassle.

This will probably save everyone a lot of trouble.

I agree

I wanted a registry office but people have booked flights and hotels now. I should have just stood up for myself initially but it’s DPs wedding too!

Hes done loads and been great. Seems to make no difference to what people expect of him (minimal).

Yeah he’s getting on with it. I work more hours than him and often evening and weekends, I didn’t realise when I agreed to the big wedding that we wouldn’t be able to split evenly.

I 100% wouldn’t be angry at any supplier who took direction from my DP.

I dont understand why you first of all gave your contact details if you didn't want to deal with them, but second of all just speak up and say can you deal with my DP please. Suppliers cant force you to deal with them.

A lot of the initial forms asked for both details.

You’re right though I’m just having a moan.

Yeah I'd say you are, it shouldn't be an issue. Just tell them DP his dealing with it, as the customer they can't go against that.

*is

DP (male) and myself (female) are also currently organising our wedding for later this year and haven't found this at all tbh. My DP contacted the venue and photographer, I've done flowers and makeup etc for example. Suppliers just contact whoever contacted them. We have generally both been on the initial Zoom calls but no one insisted we had to be.