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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to dip into savings to get through redundancy?

22 replies

HartandRoll · 09/04/2023 07:18

I’m 6 months pregnant and DH just got made redundant last week. And to add to the stress we’re struggling to get on the same page with how to manage what comes next.

With my maternity pay and his redundancy pay he’s getting, we can manage as we are for 6 months, but then the monthly income will run out. He has already thrown himself into a job search. But I am saying if he doesn’t have a job by then, then we dip into savings to keep us going for another 6 months. He is saying dipping into savings is absolute last resort, and we should do things like downgrade the house (rented), me go back to work early and take DD (3) out of pre- school and he look after her at home before we did that.

AIBU to want to dip into savings before making all those changes?!

Some context:
I’d be asking to dip into about 5% of savings so there’d be plenty left
We have moved house 7 times in 10 years - I can’t bear the thought of moving again. Especially as this time it would be with a 3 year old and a newborn. I love our house we just moved into last month, it was supposed to be it for a good few years - a break from renovation (as is rented) and is in good school catchment when that application comes around in Jan.
The house moves have mostly been because he’s been doing them up along the way and selling for profit. So that’s how the savings pot has been boosted. I didn’t do as much of the manual work, but have worked full time and earned the same as him over this whole time to contribute. And also lived in chaos and building sites along the way which I just am so done with now.
The savings are in high return investments - so he’s saying just taking 5% of them out equates to so much more in the return that gets lost in the long term.

I know it’s because he’s worked so hard on the houses he can’t bear for these savings to be spent on getting through every day life because of redundancy. I also know I am stressing when in fact he could get another job in these next 6 months (but his sector off work is laying off people so much right now, is a terrible time and he’s being very pessimistic about finding something else). But I am pregnant and in nesting mode and would be super resentful if I had to move again, leave a 3 month old baby to go back to work full time and take my DD out of pre-school which she loves, when a little savings dip would alleviate all that?! My compromise would be dip into savings, I’ll go back to work full time and earlier than planned when baby is 9 months, and downgrade the house come next Feb if we needed to (so we can be here a year first and secure school place) and take pre-school for 3 year old down to 2 days a week. But give me a little time in the house and with baby first?! And actually he’d be around for that too which could actually be special time as a new family of 4 for a few months. We have health and so blessed with DD and one on the way … so I need to put these current redundancy problems in perspective. It just feels like he’s making life so much more stressful than it needs to be.

AIBU to want to dip into the savings?

OP posts:

YellowGreenBlue · 09/04/2023 07:25

But how do you know it would only be 5% of your savings? If you got through that amount and he still hasn't got a job, what would be the next step? I guess he's thinking that you may need to resort to some of these options anyway, and it would be better if you hadn't also used up some savings as well?

Hopefully he gets a job quickly and none of this is necessary 🤞

Aprilx · 09/04/2023 07:25

I think you are both being premature in your thinking. You (both of you) have sis months, there is low unemployment at the moment, he has plenty of time t get a new job. I would focus on that, n rather than anything else.

In the meantime, yes I would be thinking of cutting back rather than carrying on as is but using up savings. Although I would not be thinking of moving at this point, agai that seems quite an over reaction.

isthewashingdryyet · 09/04/2023 07:33

How much do you need as a minimum to house, heat, feed and pay for travel and cars, and the other basic bills like council tax and phones ?
That will be much less than he has previously earned, but it is all he needs to earn . So he needs a filler job in a supermarket or warehouse or pulling pints to earn this while he finds the fancy high paying job. If he starts next week you need not deplete the redundancy very much at all
When the baby is six months, you could even do a couple of shifts in a pub while he stays at home and parents, and you should be breaking even at this point.
Stop panicking and get him a job

timesogin · 09/04/2023 07:44

I really hear where you are coming from. My DH was made redundant when our second DD was 8 weeks old and we had very similar conversations about how much to use the savings for. But he managed to get a job before the redundancy period ended.
It's really stressful and being pregnant and beating it makes total sense that your heads are running ahead and planning for the worst case scenarios. You both want to do what is most stable and safe for your family. You are just coming at it with slightly different priorities.

If you possibly can try not to worry too much and put energy into him finding a new job. Redundancy sometimes gives the permission to make a change and find a path you wouldn't have taken the risk to go down before. He sounds resourceful and competent and I am sure he will find a job.

No harm in running multiple plan b's at the same time. But you don't need the stress of making plan b decisions right now.

Take care!!

timesogin · 09/04/2023 07:45

Beating it?! Being in nesting mode!!

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/04/2023 07:46

I wouldn't think downgrading the house was a sensible first step, but I would think you going back to work was.

Shamoo · 09/04/2023 07:50

@YellowGreenBlue OP clearly explains what the plan would be if he still didn’t have a job once the baby is 9 months old.

OP YANBU - what’s the point of savings if not to help you through a shit situation like this. You have a very sensible proposal.

DustyLee123 · 09/04/2023 07:51

In 6 months, if he hasn’t got a job, you go back to work and he has baby.

Dox9 · 09/04/2023 07:52

I don't know if going back to work very early is wise. The focus needs to be on getting him back to work. How is he going to jobhunt while looking after a tiny baby and toddler.

Dancemonkee · 09/04/2023 07:54

He needs to apply both for jobs related to his field and other jobs that will still bring in an income as pp said above. Check for any benefits you may be entitled to also.

Oysterbabe · 09/04/2023 07:57

How employable is he? What's the job market like in his industry?
There is surely a high chance he can get a new job in 6 months. I fancied a new job recently and had employers practically begging me to choose them, such is the labour shortage in my field.

Notfeelinglikemyselftoday · 09/04/2023 08:02

He seems to be panicking a bit. Is his area of employment niche or competitive? Sounds a bit like he'd enjoy time at home.

Surely worst case you cut back during the 6 months and then if he truly can't get THE job, then taking anything to tide him over would be better than all that upheaval. For example, contract work, temp agencies, even shifts at the local supermarket while searching.

I've moved lots too and it involves lots of lost costs that soon add up.

OhSmitty · 09/04/2023 08:05

I'm with you OP. That's what savings are for, to help in tough times as a back up plan. Redundancy is awful, I've been there. We managed because we had savings and lowish outgoings, other ex colleagues borrowed from parents to get through.

Our savings did dwindle to nothing at the end, it took us years to recover as DH ended up taking a low paid job just to get some income in. we made it emotional scars and all and we live way below our means as a result.

Notfeelinglikemyselftoday · 09/04/2023 08:05

There's also part time stuff he could easily pick up during those 6 months, like a few Amazon delivery shifts to keep money coming in.

ZiriForEver · 09/04/2023 08:06

If the savings are in high profit investment, the 5% should be about a year's gain, not even bit from the base. That isn't really bad thing to do.
If the savings aren't meant to help your family when the second baby comes and job shit hits, what is their purpose?

Your plan sounds ok.
I'd improve it with him getting a part time temp job asap, to prolong the time he has to find a proper one. If he was able to fix the houses, is some self employed trade an option for him?

Inthesamesinkingboat · 09/04/2023 08:10

He needs to take any job immediately to eaaak out his redundancy payment for as long as possible. When I was made redundant I got a job within 2 weeks at a well known hardware chain, I did that for 4 months whilst I looked for a more permanent job. I was pleased it was only for 4 months it was possibly the most physically tough job I’ve ever done and I couldn’t have done it long term, but it did mean I offset some of my living costs and came away with savings intact.

midgemadgemodge · 09/04/2023 08:18

This is unclear ... why only 5%? Because you will go back at 12 months anyway ?

If redundancy lasts for 6 months your child will be 9 months when you need to go back to work

Is your elder child at home or nursery at the moment ? Wil you easily get your place back if your pull he out for up to 6 months ?

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/04/2023 08:19

Can you comprimise and he take any job now for some income to prolong the maternity leave and house rental to Jan? Do look though at the entrance requirements for the school and any sibling links, because if it is unrealistic to stay nearby until your youngest is applying to school you may be better to move sooner to a cheaper area.

YellowGreenBlue · 09/04/2023 08:22

@Shamoo fair point. On re-reading the OP I have to agree with you.

Oblomov23 · 09/04/2023 08:29

He should be able to get a job within 6 months.

SouthCountryGirl · 09/04/2023 08:30

Is he claiming job seekers allowance?

ShandaLear · 09/04/2023 08:43

I’d be reluctant to dip into savings unless there was a tangible benefit at the end of it - doing a course to help him get a new job, paying off a mortgage to reduce the burden of debt and provide security (I know this doesn’t apply here), starting up a business, buying a vehicle/van to improve prospects, invest in a new fixer upper, etc. I would be very reluctant to just fritter the money away on day to day living expenses if there was an alternative because you’ll be no better off at the end and may end up having to dip into more. I wouldn’t want to move in your shoes given you’ve had to do so much of that, but everything else can be jiggled - your DD could do fewer days at nursery, you could go back to work early but go part time, you could looks at cutting non essential costs like subscription services, get more cost effective services like Wi-Fi, eat cheaper, etc. The priority is to get your DH back to work.

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