Feel so much pressure of being boring

[plushy26]

I’m 26 and I’ve always been really outgoing, busy and enjoyed going out.

Recently there’s been a bit of a big shift - I’ve been burnt out from work and I’ve been spending a lot of time watching tv, baking bread, playing cards or doing crosswords with my boyfriend. All my friends are still at the stage where they’re going out drinking loads still, and I’ve lost the appeal for it.

BUT I can’t relax. If im sitting in doing a crossword, I can’t shake the feeling that im being really boring if it’s not just a one off. I’ve been seeing stories of everyone out day drinking with friends for Easter.
I feel like this is what I should be doing at my age. Should I be enjoying my youth more? I understand “do what makes you happy” but I just constantly worry about being boring!!

I'd rather be doing what you're doing ANY day of the week!
You've internalised the belief that anything other than a drunken night out is boring. You must shake it off as it's not true. Anyway, it's hip to be square

If you can knock living your life to someone else’s expectations on the head at 26, you’ll be well ahead of the game.

If you are unhappy feeling bored, fine change you and do something else.

If you are unhappy feeling like someone else will be bored by you, well, change that someone else.

All I would say is to keep on finding new experiences and skills to learn from and seeking others who enjoy what you enjoy.

Human interaction is where purpose lies.

Live the life you want to live! Start thinking about how that might look and explore new possible interests; most people evolve and grow over their lifetime, their lives move in different directions and their interests and priorities change. Some of your friends might be on a different trajectory as you but that’s ok and there are ways to meet in the middle while still living the life you want to lead.

There’s more to life than sitting in a pub every week with your friends so explore possible interests, and you never know, some of them might be keen to join you or at least try some new things out.

Boring is VERY unrated. I love being boring, its so very enjoyable. Crack on being boring, we shall all raise a glass brew to toast you.

I made this transition at about 26 and got some gentle ribbing from my friends. Now they've all hit 30, our favourite thing to do is go for dog walks, look at our gardens (we always get a tour when visiting for any updates) and do dinner parties. You're just a few years ahead of the game. Embrace it.

I think a healthy mix is the best option, especially at your age. Having said that, drinking alcohol certainly isn’t compulsory.

Do you have friends you could go out with for lunch, sit in a pub garden and have a good chat?

It sounds as though you have slight FOMO so maybe a small adjustment might be helpful? Otherwise, just crack on.

The only really boring way to live is doing what you think you should do rather than what you want.

Look ag Instagram people, living for must have photos to appear like life is exciting and fun but really just scanning the horizon for anything that makes a good picture.

But ‘a healthy mix’ sounds like a one-size-fits-all approach to what someone the OP’s age Should Be Doing.

Theres nothing she ‘should be doing’ with her free time, other than what makes her happy and comfortable.

OP you will probably find that the urge to go out returns at a different life stage. For now, don’t judge yourself in your own head. It sounds like, for whatever reason, you need a rest and a break. And that’s what you must do if that’s what you need!

It's important to get out every now and then. Don't underestimate the benefits of just going somewhere nice like a beach or a park for a walk. Nature is very restorative and benefits us when we're stressed and run down.
It'll break up your boredom without being stressful.
You could grab a coffee and go for a walk.
Then when you're feeling less burnt out, start going out more socially. It doesn't have to involve drinking. There's a whole world out there.

Delete social media. All it does is make you feel you should be doing things others are doing. Just do what feels good for you. If you want to stay in then stay in. Don't do things just because you feel like you should.

If you are happy* *then carry on, I would say you are only in your 20's once and even though I had two young children at your age I would have considered your life as it is now terminally boring.
I always managed a really good night out at least every couple of months, more if I could.
'BUT I can’t relax. If im sitting in doing a crossword, I can’t shake the feeling that im being really boring if it’s not just a one off. I’ve been seeing stories of everyone out day drinking with friends for Easter.'
Perhaps you are not as happy staying in as you think?
Also, don't forget this is mumsnet, lots of posters go out once every ten years and consider that enough social interaction for a lifetime!
Is your partner happy staying in playing cards? I hope their social life hasn't come to a complete halt because you have decided it should for both of you!

I think there’s more people doing this than social media would you have know. More to life than drinking alcohol. Just doing that would be boring! I do understand though.

Life is hard. Evenmoreso with advances in technology and social media to make things easier. All social media seems to do is add pressure and increase anxiety.

You're 26, nothing boring about what you are doing, for me personally, I do what makes me happy and what keeps me sane and calm and meets my needs.

I'm in my 40s and have friends late 30s who are all about day drinking this whole weekend. I had a few drinks with them Friday and then went back home and did what we needed to do as a family. I don't have any fomo because while I see their fun all over social media and happy, laughing reels, I know them all well enough to know what's really going on.

What is it you think you are missing out on? At the same time you've acknowledged that you are close to burn out at work so hitting the drink all weekend definitely won't help.

My friends all have different priorities too so some of them work purely to fund their weekend drinking and think nothing of spending a hundred pounds plus on a night out and don't see it as a waste if money. I spent £80 odd in a bookshop yesterday and they think this was a complete waste of money whereas I think their drinking spends is a waste of money and leaves you feeling ropey the next day.

I go out but as I've got older, I now know what I want to do and I'm not afraid of saying no if I'm not interested or would rather spend my money elsewhere.

And also, social media is another form of marketing and the majority of people only ever post for likes and therefore only post things that have been put together, filtered and staged.

Though I am terrible for comparing my bookstagram to others and feeling as though my pictures are not good enough or feeling rubbish because I recently broke my 60 day reading streak or that I only read 4 books in March compared to someone I follow who has read 15! So I do get the fomo aspect and I still have to remind myself that I'm doing pretty good!

Ahhh you've had The Change, as I call it. I had a party girl phase in my early 20s. About 26 or so I started to settle down more and by 29 my friends and I definitely had a few evenings out but markedly preferred a lot of the activities you mention above. Basically I think we start to age physically and psychologically shift towards favouring more stability and things that bring satisfaction.

For me, I found I got tired more easily and every day life was getting busier and the consistency and routine that helps to run a home became much more important. You've done nothing wrong and your friends will probably get there too.

I feel the same now I’ve retired. I am blissfully happy reading, mumsnetting, pottering, going for walks and to the gym but still feel I ought to be Doing Something.

Thank you everyone! I do agree my social media is full of everyone I know doing these things, so I guess I worry that because I’m the same age it’s what I should be doing. I’ve always thought about living your best life etc so just feel I’m being lazy!

I know how you feel OP, since covid I much more enjoy my time at home now and don’t feel I want to be out and about every second of the weekend, but I also wonder if I’ve become too boring!

Living your best life means happiness and contentment….. and not necessarily just doing what everybody else does.

the best thing about being older is not caring too much about the whole Friday Saturday night scene. I used to turn my lounge light off on a Saturday because I was embarrassed at being in (I was 21 and didn’t always want to go out) 😂 I mean that’s ridiculous isn’t it .