Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex has moved....

37 replies

Solobear · 08/04/2023 23:58

My ex has.moved 40mins away, informed me this week. I just asked how he's gunna do this with kids etc to be told I'll have to do 50 50 meet in the middle.....
Someone please tell me if I'm being petty. This man is nothing more than a fb dad I've had to let soooo much stuff slide to keep the peace this just feels like the last straw for me. Why do I always have to work around him, for him 2 play daddy for 4 hours on a Sunday... that's if he has them and isn't busy!! Example of his parenting tells kids he's gunna take them swimming I text to make sure he's still taking them has kids where dressed in swimming stuff for him to tell me he ain't had time to look at when it's open and can't go.... I end up keeping them and taking them myself.... this is always happening promising so much shit that never happens... I've had enough of him 😑😑😑

OP posts:
Solobear · 09/04/2023 09:25

Thank you all for your replys. I didn't respond to him about driving 50/50 so will have to speak to him today. I'll try and stay calm which is difficult when I know how he's going to speak to me. I'm going to be the one in the wrong again 🙃 I work 2 jobs with no help from him ever with childcare we just manage with money I'm not putting anymore diesel in my car I just can't afford it. Dreading having to speak to this man....

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 09/04/2023 13:33

You are always going to be in the wrong with this man (according to him) so you need to accept that, then decide how you are going to react to it. Maybe its time to stop speaking to him face to face and do everything via text or email. That way you can think about your response and take the emotion out of it, keep it factual. If he demands you do something just say you can't and don't say why. If he asks why just repeat you can't do it.

Beamur · 09/04/2023 13:38

Just say no.
He's moving, he does the travelling. It's 40 minutes not the other side of the moon.
You might be flexible around occasional events but this isn't reasonable or practical for you. You should not be out of pocket for this change he has decided on.
If he can't do 50:50 on this basis then maybe that changes?

Daleksatemyshed · 09/04/2023 13:55

If he can't be bothered to do anything with them now Op then he probably won't turn up at all in future. Can you imagine driving the DC half way and him not turning up, how hurtful that would be for your DC. Tell him the driving is down to him and don't listen to his abuse_ text or email in future is the wY forward

SchoolTripDrama · 09/04/2023 13:56

Solobear · 09/04/2023 09:25

Thank you all for your replys. I didn't respond to him about driving 50/50 so will have to speak to him today. I'll try and stay calm which is difficult when I know how he's going to speak to me. I'm going to be the one in the wrong again 🙃 I work 2 jobs with no help from him ever with childcare we just manage with money I'm not putting anymore diesel in my car I just can't afford it. Dreading having to speak to this man....

Just block him!

Jagoda · 09/04/2023 14:00

Don’t speak to him, just message him saying your responsibility is to make DC available for contact. You don’t have to take them anywhere.

He needs to tell you when he’s coming and if he’s ridiculously late, just take the kids out.

He will either shape up or fuck off. Is he paying maintenance?

macncheeeesey · 09/04/2023 14:34

My ex took me to court recently because he wanted me to travel halfway. He didn't see our DD for 6 months because I refused to do this. It went to court. Court ordered he do all pick ups and I meet halfway for a collection every other week. He drives, I don't and he loves 40 min drive away.

Hold your ground, you do everything else so it's the least you can do. Let him take you to court if he feels so strongly about it - although be prepared you may be ordered to do some.

TheCatterall · 09/04/2023 14:34

@Solobear maybe keep the conversation in text so you have a record of it. WhatsApp or text.

he moved so he has to make the extra effort. It’s not on you to travel further. I think that’s also legally what would be agreed in court if he threatens that.

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 15:11

He moved so he has to sort things out his end. Just tell him you are not going to be doing any extra driving and leave it up to him when he sees the kids next.

FartyGodmother · 09/04/2023 19:25

Testina · 09/04/2023 07:51

Don’t be stupid, and rude.

Didn't need an Oxford comma in that sentence

Solobear · 09/04/2023 23:24

Well he never had the children again today.
I'm making everything a competition about who's the better parent apparently..... I had no words for that one or where it came from but i did laugh to myself. I try and keep everything to text, less talking to him the better 😆
P.s for the people taking the mick about my spellings bore of 🙃

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 09/04/2023 23:31

Its good that you can laugh to yourself about how ridiculous he is being as that should help you from being sucked into his mind games so easily.

I think there is an app you can use to talk to an ex about childcare that courts recommend, perhaps someone here knows more about that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread