To have a barbecue without barbecuing?

[Onthegejdj]

I was going to ask about half a dozen colleagues/friends around for a barbecue one afternoon next month. Not all will attend, so I’ll be catering for maybe half a dozen. I’ve got a lovely built in barbecue but whenever I host barbecues I spend the afternoon tied to the barbecue and miss all the fun and gossip.

Could I get away with putting out potato salad, another nice salad, cold pasta, cold chicken legs, a cheese and ham board, olives… Any other ideas? It needs to be food I can either make the day before and serve cold, or make very quickly. I feel rude ignoring guests and spending forever at the barbecue, and also I don’t want to feel stressed or miss the gossip.

AIBU to serve everything cold and if not, what would you want served?

Okay well this is good. I always thought of it the opposite way - people would expect burgers and sausages as a given and any nicer food was in addition to them.

Don’t be ridiculous.

Buffet or cream tea would be my suggestion. We have a smoker which although a huge faff means you can smoke meat before everyone's arrival. Bbq brisket is our absolute favourite!

This is a good idea actually. The buns don’t rile me as much in this context 😅.

When I have a few to cater for I precook fresh meat/skewers (indoors) just before they arrive then finish it all off on bbq for a few mins plonk it all out along with the cold food/salad/buns etc for everyone to help themselves makes life so much easier.

Yep, that sounds ideal. That’s the plan. Thank you!

Thanks. I often cook ribs etc in the oven beforehand when I’m barbecuing but on this occasion I’m going to be arriving home at the same time as the guests, so I was trying to think of mostly things I could precook the night before and serve cold.

Why not do a bring a dish, everyone gets a rough category and has to bring a dish with them. They then take their dish away with them. Less work for set up, everyone feels involved and minimal clean up as everyone takes their own dish home

I don't think @RideACockHorseToSunburyCross is being a dick @Onthegejdj because a 'seafood broil' really isn't a thing in the uk. Are you of American heritage? I only ask because Brits don't use 'broil' as a verb. We say 'grill'.

When did I say broil?

OP- you seem to be caught up with the wording of your day time meal and fixated by the terms! Lunch would sound a bit formal I think. I want the social, casual connotations that a barbecue conveys.

To me, a 'lunch' at a friends house might be a sandwich or baguette and a drink, whereas a BBQ would mean salads, breads and various BBQ cooked options. If you don't want to put the BBQ on, or slice tomatoes or have buns which cause crumbs- then don't! Call it a casual luncheon get together! I agree with others, I can't recall the last time I went to a BBQ and the options were sausages and burgers?

If you are happy to cook and prep beforehand- why on earth bother with the BBQ? Salads, breads and maybe something hot that you can reheat in the oven would be amazing.

Yes, I'm getting the impression OP is not in the UK.

I think various skewers and maybe your pulled pork are a great idea. I never want a charcoal burger or blistered sausage at any other time, so why is it the default option. You can have lots of lovely accompaniments and still that chargrilled relic is the star of the show and everyone has to wait until it appears. Brings everything down to the level of a scout camp!

Rise up OP! Bin the burgers and sling the sausages!

OP, you don't want to do a BBQ. Or, at the very least, you don't want to do the sort of BBQ other people are expecting.

Just call it "food". "Do you want to come round for some food in the afternoon? If the weather is nice, we could sit outside in the garden."

Food = no expectations, so no disappointments.

You’ll have an entire MN thread on you that goes viral.
”I was invited to a summer BBQ and we were served no BBQ food. AIBU?”

There needs to be BBQed meat imo, otherwise it's not a BBQ. Personally I would be disappointed at no sausages or burgers.

I am in the UK. Not sure why anyone thinks otherwise.

Yeah, this is my concern. I know that I, and several others on the thread, have said they would prefer nicer food than burgers & sausages, but that is what people think of and probably want when they hear barbecue.

I'm not trying to be a dick 😅 a seafood boil is not a standard thing at any uk bbq.

You're recoiling at the word "lunch". Saying you want to invite colleagues for a bbq without lighting the bbq, then deciding you might make skewers and halloumi cause they're apparently easier than sausages (they're not).

Talk about fucking hard work 🙄. But yeah, I'm a dick 🤣

Aye but you’ve got access to Google. You are trying to be a dick. Hope you’ve had a good sleep and you feel better this morning.

Whenever we serve burgers or dog rolls the guests have to assemble them

YANBU to serve whatever you like as long as you don't call it a bbq if it isn't one! I don't see why 'lunch' sounds formal at all tbh. I don't think you'll get any consensus on whether it's disappointing or not to serve halloumi skewers etc vs traditional burgers and sausages - that's just a question of individual preferences.

I confess I'm absolutely baffled by your issue with buns, especially as you don't seem to mind them with pulled pork in! Pulled pork is a good call imo. I'd be perfectly happy with your chicken, salad and quiche though. Seafood boil sounds great, though I'd never heard of it either (and am reasonably 'foodie').

If you’d like to prepare the night before, you could make either some potato salad, pasta salad and a leafy beetroot salad etc. beforehand. You could also pre-cook the sausages and burgers in the oven whilst you do the salads and assemble skewers with halloumi and veg. Then on the day, you could just place the skewers, corn on the cob on the BBC and just lightly char the pre-cooked sausages and burger patties and put some cheese on top to melt. Just let the guests assemble their own burgers with separate bowls for lettuce, tomatoes, cooked mushrooms, pickles etc. and the guests can customize their own burgers.

For the love of all things good, don’t do a BBQ and also serve cold chicken and ham. People would be most perplexed. If doing a BBQ, meat goes on the BBQ so just do a few chooks on it if you want chicken (beer can method but obviously doesn’t need to be beer, we always use a citrus based mineral water), or swap out the cold chicken for chicken kebabs cooked on BBQ, or marinated wings or drumettes or similar.

Also, zero idea how you can’t BBQ and socialise. Do you not have seating around the BBQ area precisely so people and host are together when BBQ’ing?

Sorry, it came up on some list and thought it was in active but must have been related, didn’t realise was zombie🥴.

If I was invited to a bbq and there was no bbq, I’d be disappointed. As long as you don’t label it as such, it’ll be fine.