What if I’m really gonna go through life and die without anyone ever loving me?

[NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs]

This shit is really consuming me these days.
I don’t want to sound like a Britney Spears song, but my loneliness is killing me.

My prents didn’t love me, they neglected me.
I’m an only child.
I’ve never been asked out or been an a date (I’m ugly - that’s why).
And I’m old now and even uglier than I was before, so it’s not going to happen now.

It just sucks so much, why me?
I’m so tired, I fight like hell to keep myself alive, but at the end of day all I do is ask myself why?
So I can be alone some more, until I finally get to die? Alone?

I’m sorry you feel like this, just reading your post has made me feel sad that you feel this way

I don’t have any useful advice but sending lots of love x

That sounds incredibly hard @NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs
I believe the old adage is true, you must first love yourself. Have you considered therapy to help your work through your childhood issues?
Also I don't believe that you're ugly, that's just your low self esteem talking.
Things can be better, you are in control of your life, you can value yourself and then other people will value you.

Sweetheart I am sure you are not ugly. That you think you are may be to do with issues of your upbringing that are not your fault, but are to do with the adults around you. It may be a good idea for you to consider some counselling options, start with your GP to talk about this. Try some activities that will benefit your mental health, a walk in the sunshine tomorrow can be a start. You are of value and you will not always be alone. Well done for crying out for help here, see it as a first step in a journey towards hope

There is an assumption thst if we haven't loved we haven't lived. I don't think that is true. I was 47 before I had my first relationship. I am not ugly physically or in character. I just wasn't interested. I have never disliked myself. Is this is something you perhaps need to consider,how you feel about yourself. I know it is cliche but the most important relationship we ever have is the one eith ourself. Hand hold to you.

I'm sorry OP. Sending love.

Please do not think you are ugly. I have never met you, but I know for a fact that you will not be ugly.

this is your upbringing making you think this.

please start to speak to a therapist. It will really help.

it is never too late to build loving relationships. And it’s not just romantic relationships. I’ve found my relationships with friends to be better than any family or romantic ones.

wish you all the best 💐

Don't be hard on yourself.

Love yourself and be kind to yourself.

Believe this.

Sorry you’re feeling like this, OP. It’s understandable and your pain is valid, but it’s important to try and shift your thinking.

I’ve had relationships with men especially when I was in my 20s but I don’t feel I was ever properly loved by them despite them claiming so. There are even people married with children who would say the same. I also don’t think anyone is too “ugly” to date. Look around you, all sorts of people have partners.

I have a great creative career and many amazing friendships all around the world so I do feel as if I have been loved by my passions (if that makes sense!) and my friends, many who are like family.

Do you have any hobbies, dreams, friendships that you can nurture? Or any places you want to and can afford to travel to ? And as a bonus, you might meet someone special through doing those things. It might be a platonic bestie or a romantic love interest :)

You are nevervtoo old to be loved.whether u r ugly i do not know.plse remember that a lot of people think they are loved but they are not.They are simply needed out of fear.To really love is a high art.The world has decided on a one size fits all definition of love.It can.come in many forms
But desperation wont help.Easy to.say.When you are watching thr media or using social media dont beloeve the bs.

I can understand how you feel.

I had toxic parents who never genuinely loved me. It was always about manipulation & control.

Then I had really some poor relationships with men where I was again mistreated. I never managed to find romantic love. I was always told from a young age that I was ugly and odd so that did not help.

Thankfully I have had some good friends, animals that I loved, a passion for my job which kept me going and I reached a place where I learned to love myself. I will never have what many other people take for granted ( a family, a partner) but I can genuinely say that I have reached peace and happiness.

But yes it is a hard thing to have to go through life where the people who claim to love you just end up abusing you.

You deserved better parents. I’m so sorry their horrible legacy has hurt you like this 💐

You ok @NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs ?