I told DM I was pregnant earlier than planned as she was visiting from abroad and we'd usually have a drink together. Because I hadn't had a scan yet (and still haven't) I asked her not to tell anyone else.
It transpires she's told three of her friends...(that I know of)
On the one hand, these are her friends I see maybe once or twice a year and have no links to anyone I know back home. So it's not like news is going to spread before I'm ready for it. (However I did see one friend yesterday who asked me about the pregnancy and if I new what I was having etc. It put me on the spot because I didn't expect her to know and I haven't even had the first scan yet, it might not even be alive! My mum had told her just as she came in the door, and not told me... )
On the other hand, I told my mum in confidence and explicitly asked her not to tell anyone because I hadn't had a scan yet. So even though the fact she's told people doesn't really affect me, it's the principle. Shouldn't I be able to tell my mum something and trust her to keep it until I'm ready to share? Its made me apprehensive about sharing things with her in future. When I pulled her up on it she just said 'oh well it's only so and so' and kept trying to justify it rather than acknowledging the fact I told her in confidence regardless.
To avoid a drip feed we don't have a 'my mum is my best friend' relationship. We're very different people, I find her quite hard work and as I've grown up realize she has narcissistic tendencies.
YANBU: she shouldn't have shared the news with anyone after you asked her not to, not even to distant friends.
YANBU: Its distant friends who you hardly see, it doesn't really affect you.