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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are posh bars in London selective on who they let in?

46 replies

ShardSaga · 08/04/2023 13:59

Name changed as disgusting finances.

So I was brought up very working class and have remained in that mindset throughout my life. I haven’t got a clue about posh stuff, high end, elite circles etc. Thing is I now have the money to be in these situations but have never bothered (partly because I wouldn’t know how to dress or act and would feel out of place).

Anyway last weekend we were in London and DH suggested we go to the bar in The Shard. We were dressed what I consider decent but not in designer clothes or anything.

We got to the bar, the bloke took one look at us (literally looked us up and down) and said they were full. DH pointed out the empty tables behind him and he said “they’re booked”.

Ok … we left and went to a normal pub instead.

Anyway I was retelling this story to someone yesterday and they laughed and said they had also tried to go in the bar and were told they were booked up. They know someone who worked there before covid and he admitted that people are turned away if they don’t look the part!!

Is this true?? Is this normal in high end places?

OP posts:
ShardSaga · 08/04/2023 14:00

Discussing finances 😂😂 what a typo

OP posts:
unclebuck · 08/04/2023 14:02

I think a lot of bars are bookings only these days. I am a working class farmer - scruffy and common - but we were welcomed in the Shard when a friend had pre-booked. They took our names before we went in the lift and at the door.
Manchester is the same - a lot of the places which are a 'scene' are bookable only and want a guarenteed spend per table.

StagsLeap · 08/04/2023 14:02

All kinds of bars and clubs are selective about who they let in, though. Is this such a surprise?

illiterato · 08/04/2023 14:04

I think bars like that are trying to weed out people who don’t look like they’re going to spend- I.e will sit over one drink for an hour or so. They prob get a lot of people trying to get insta shots while sipping a tap water between them.

ShardSaga · 08/04/2023 14:04

StagsLeap · 08/04/2023 14:02

All kinds of bars and clubs are selective about who they let in, though. Is this such a surprise?

Well yes it’s a surprise as I’ve never tried to get in one before!

Im used to being followed around high end clothing places by security however 🙄

OP posts:
ellaballoo · 08/04/2023 14:06

Which bar in The Shard .
The one downstairs ?

theGooHasGone · 08/04/2023 14:06

Yes, completely normal. Their loss etc.

StagsLeap · 08/04/2023 14:07

illiterato · 08/04/2023 14:04

I think bars like that are trying to weed out people who don’t look like they’re going to spend- I.e will sit over one drink for an hour or so. They prob get a lot of people trying to get insta shots while sipping a tap water between them.

I think there’s that, and there’s also the issue of not wanting it to look like a tourist or out-of-towners’ spot, full of people in backpacks and those rain ponchos from the hop-on hop-off buses all trying to photograph the view.

theWarOnPeace · 08/04/2023 14:08

I’m a WC Londoner and rarely get dressed up for anything. I’ve taken my kids in the Shard a few times but the thing about London these days is the pre-booking. It feels like a post-pandemic thing to me, it was never this booking obsessed before. I even had to prebook an ice cream place the other week! It’s not you, OP, it’s London.

Sundaefraise · 08/04/2023 14:08

Even where I live which is pretty middle of the road there are bars where you need to book and pay a deposit which is then deducted from your bill. I imagine that it’s a lot more to do with money than clothes.

Gregorylass · 08/04/2023 14:12

I think it's about securing a booking first. We went to The Shard, it was winter and we were in puffy coats and beanie hats, definitely not looking posh, but we had booked a table already.

intotalfreefall · 08/04/2023 14:15

I doubt it was about how you looked.

Since lockdown, prebooking has been a major thing in London. The empty seats were probably about to be filled in half an hour.

A lot of prebookings now require card details too.

ChristmasFluff · 08/04/2023 14:15

Goth. Table booked. No probs.

Catzpajamas · 08/04/2023 14:31

The Shard is trashy imo, I wouldn’t call it ‘posh’, more like flashy & conspicuous

twoundertwowho · 08/04/2023 14:36

There are places that might, but I don't think the shard is particularly selective. They cater for a lot of tourists so it's definitely not an exclusive sort of place. In this instance, it really probably was a booking thing.

JADS · 08/04/2023 14:38

I went to the Shard bar pre pandemic and my mates are pretty scruffy. I was coming from work so definitely had a back pack with me. However we had booked and that was definitely a thing even in 2018. We also went to the SkyBar and had booked that too.

HelpsHeal · 08/04/2023 14:44

I think there are clubs where you need to look the part but The Shard's tables probably were booked.

SisterAgatha · 08/04/2023 14:46

WC Londoner. Might be dressed up one day or normal the next but I suppose I dress kind of aged goth anyway. I walk tall and proud though so I hold myself like I could be rich or poor?

I don’t go to places like the Shard on the off chance - I always tend to prebook if I want to go somewhere specific. My friend is similar to me and goes out in groups and has been turned away, some places don’t like large groups.

SisterAgatha · 08/04/2023 14:47

I was also once let in to Sexy Fish just moments after my friend was turned away. I had on big biker boots, tight jeans and fitted t and a leather jacket.

ReadersD1gest · 08/04/2023 14:49

ShardSaga · 08/04/2023 13:59

Name changed as disgusting finances.

So I was brought up very working class and have remained in that mindset throughout my life. I haven’t got a clue about posh stuff, high end, elite circles etc. Thing is I now have the money to be in these situations but have never bothered (partly because I wouldn’t know how to dress or act and would feel out of place).

Anyway last weekend we were in London and DH suggested we go to the bar in The Shard. We were dressed what I consider decent but not in designer clothes or anything.

We got to the bar, the bloke took one look at us (literally looked us up and down) and said they were full. DH pointed out the empty tables behind him and he said “they’re booked”.

Ok … we left and went to a normal pub instead.

Anyway I was retelling this story to someone yesterday and they laughed and said they had also tried to go in the bar and were told they were booked up. They know someone who worked there before covid and he admitted that people are turned away if they don’t look the part!!

Is this true?? Is this normal in high end places?

Yes, it's normal. They need a certain clientele to attract a certain clientele. This is where the exclusive bit comes in!

bostonchamps · 08/04/2023 15:36

Honestly you didn't miss much - the bars and restaurants in The Shard are full of people who wouldn't know class (class as in taste and sophistication, not 'status') if it hit them in the face.

I live in a pretty MC part of central London and I roll into all sorts of local establishments looking like I've had a fight with a hedge. I find the touristy places are awful and judgey, even if you're UMC with money to burn.

Greenfairydust · 08/04/2023 15:49

As a Londoner I would never consider the Shard posh, classy or cool...

Naff & for tourists as far as I am concerned, so they have nothing to be so superior about.

As people have said it is more likely that it was simply because you had not booked in advance or you came across some deluded idiot on a power trip who just happened to be on shift that day...

SocksAndTheCity · 08/04/2023 15:51

I didn't know that turning out for food/drink looking as if you had a fight with a hedge was tasteful and sophisticated, but you live and learn.

I suspect it's more to do with your face (and likely your accent) fitting the bill, @bostonchamps , since I often get the 'look' when mine (solid working class and northern) doesn't. I live in the City and I've never actually been turned away from anywhere though, including Hutong at the Shard.

AuntieSoap · 08/04/2023 15:52

They were probably booked, most of those type of bars are these days. You'd be lucky to just rock up and get a table.

yogaretreat · 08/04/2023 15:52

I book most places and never had any issues with going anywhere. I don't think they didn't like the look of you I bet the tables were just booked