To think my DH is over the top self conscious about being seen naked?

[morehouseplants]

i think DH is ridiculously paranoid about people seeing him in the nude. If we’re going to have sex all the curtains must be shut (even though we’re not overlooking other houses) and the bedroom door even if the dc aren’t in. He even thinks we can be seen though a small chink if the curtains aren’t completely closed.
In contrast I’m happy walking around naked (no close neighbours) but he semi jokingly tells me off for this. I’d obviously never expose myself in public or anything, but I have no problem in my own home.
AIBU to find his attitude annoying and bizarre? Should he lighten up or am I the one with the problem?

Yeah that's a bit weird

He sounds like he had an uptight strict upbringing - perhaps Catholic parents?

My DH is the same. I love sex outside in the sunshine / a summer storm but can’t get him interested at all even though the garden is completely private.

I think it’s just one of those things, he is who he is, and guys with old fashioned uptight values do mostly seem to be good husbands in other ways.

I’d draw the line at him criticising you walking around naked though. If he wants to hide his bits that’s up to him but he shouldn’t be policing your behaviour.

Leave him be, I would be annoyed if someone tried to police my nakedness.

He sounds like he had an uptight strict upbringing - perhaps Catholic parents?
Honestly! Do you know many Catholics?

Catholic here - absolutely no issues with nakedness in our house growing up.
On the other hand my vaguely Protestant/Church of England DH is like @morehouseplants husband.
He really doesn’t want to be seen naked. Partly he wishes he was slimmer. He also grew up in a house where it just wasn’t done.

Tbh I would feel a bit weird about shagging with the curtains open even if you don't have any close neighbours! Is there really no way anyone could see in if walking/driving past?

@Ashia LOL. Catholic.....really?

Wow. He is different to you. How he feels comfortable doesn’t mean anything is wrong with him or must have been catholic.

I am comfortable being nude in my own home, but some people are not. That’s fine. Neither is superior.

I thought you were going to say he had an issue with you seeing him naked. I’m the same as him with with making sure the neighbours don’t get an eye full. Surely it’s standard to make sure the curtains are closed or whatever 🤷🏼‍♀️

🤔

I think a person’s boundary around their own body is theirs and theirs alone. So he doesn’t get to tell you how to be, and you don’t get to tell him how to be.

He may or may not have hang-ups around nudity and sex. But they’re for him to navigate really.

I don't think shutting the curtains and door is that extreme tbh.

None of what you describe is unusual or OTT.

I'm similar to your DH. It's just wanting to make sure you won't be on display when you don't want to be and there is nothing wrong with it.

Personally, I am more comfortable being dressed, at least in some way. Nobody gets to tell me how to be.

And shutting the curtains and door is perfectly normal.

I can’t have sex without the bedroom door and curtains being closed fully either, it’s what I’m comfortable with and if a potential partner had an issue with it that’s tough shit.

It’s not necessarily how I would behave, but it’s up to him. His body, his choice really.

As long as he's up for it once the curtains and door are shut to his satisfaction, I can't see the problem.

He did grow up in a very strict Christian household.
Thanks for the different perspectives. To me it all seems way over the top and I wondered if something had happened made him so self conscious but it’s good to know it’s normal for others too.

I don't think he's extreme. I'm very comfortable in my own body and walking around naked but don't want strangers seeing me. Not because of any body conscious hang ups but I don't want some peaking Tom wanking off to me or taking pictures.

Call me old fashion but I won't seen naked pics to anyone ever (even headless ones), even in a relationship etc. Anyone who has seen me naked is by my choice and the only record is their memory!

It's not about body image, it's self respect & dignity.

Just wanted to say I know plenty of comfortable-being-naked Catholics 😄

Curtains closed, door shut and covered by the duvet. Only uncovered from the neck up.
Missionary obviously.

@Riapia pretty much yes 😔

My husband and I shut the curtains, and we close our door, too, even though our kids are adults and live on their own. Our daughter who lives close by has a key and is welcome to come over anytime, and does, so we want to prevent any awkward surprises. Your husband seems totally normal to me.

Doesn't seem extreme to me. Though I do wonder if someone the DH knows has been embarrassed (or worse) by being seen in flagrante or just nude, or if there is someone he has fallen out with (say a neighbour) who would call the police were anything to be seen from outside.

Maybe he once saw some neighbours at it and made a mental note to close the curtains everytime 😁