To want family time

[Coffeemeand4]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years and this is something I've been asking from the beginning before we had my younger two (i have older two kids almost in adulthood)

I do have to stress that our relationship is pretty great and everything that happens in our relationship is done with the best intentions.
Quite literally, the problem is finding the balance between addressing/attending to the needs of day to day life (house work, shopping, work, sleep etc) and having time together as a couple and family. With our busy lives we don't really have much time for a social life which to be honest I don't really mind as it's more important to me to have time in our relationship and have time and create memories with the kids. At most we'll take the kids to the park or something together for like an hour once a week, but currently there's more time and room to do more (mostly weekends and sometimes he gets a 3 day weekend sometimes it's a 1 day weekend) mostly we are sperately doing things with the kids.

I've repeatedly stressed to my OH that absolutely, rightly so everything needs to be attended to and there always seems to be something else that needs doing, but we also need time together. Our youngest is 2 months old and obviously sleep has been needed when able and we've been taking it in turns (taking presidence atm) but I'm hyper conscious that I don't have much time on maternity leave and we've planned to move next year so will both be working lots to make the move happen.

I'm reaching my breaking point, we've lost so much time and days we could have spent together and like this weekend it's a 4day weekend, so far plans have been scrapped to catch up on sleep (I had a little lay in and he's having his turn right now, yesterday it was 3pm before we were both up together and our son was in bed 3 hours later)

I feel like I'm being an as**e because everything is important and needed, but I also want to feel like we are a family in the times we can instead of a single parent and losing precious moments and just find some sort of balance. There really isn't anything wrong with the rest of our relationship, but 4 years later of expressing this it's becoming a non negotiable thing for me.

AIBU?

You’re still not clear. What’s stopping you? Are you telling him you want to do more things together? Maybe do something every other weekend given you’ve such a small baby. Talk to him and tell him you’d like to prioritise it. Then make it happen - book the tickets, make the picnic etc… he’s obviously not bothered so you need to do it yourself. Everyone has different priorities.

Girl! I don't normally interact with posts but the misogyny and mum shaming is showing in the replies!
You are totally being reasonable! Maybe you've gone a wee bit around the houses to explain but I get what you're saying.
Sorry not sorry if people want to think that you should be home 24/7, with all the responsibilities and zero life because heaven forbid if you don't or have to ask to have a life with your family you are lazy, crazy and parenting is questionable. They can go ahead to live that way themselves if they want but don't shame a mum for wanting more than an hour at a park a week with her hubby and the wee ones they made together! Couple, pair, takes 2 to tango! She ain't asking for the world and doesn't mean she's not doing anything!

Looks like you've got mum guilt, so stop it. You don't need to put it on yourself and you don't need to take on the whole world trying to be the perfect parent.
You are right, the house won't fall apart if you both leave it for a few hours. You've been asking him for time together before your wee babies, sounds like he needs to realise that not you. Don't know what to suggest except keep chatting with him.
Sounds like you won't have any time soon with your future plans and your job, so make the most of it while you can. Babies grow up quickly, you don't want to miss that.