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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Therapist won’t work with me anymore unless I take drugs

94 replies

TinaTeaspoon54321 · 07/04/2023 22:23

I am 5 months pregnant so this feels particularly unfair. I know people can and do take SSRIs in pregnancy and that it’s a risk/benefit analysis. Yet I personally would prefer not to and feel confident that I can get by without. Surely that should be my decision and being able to receive support from the person I’ve already established a rapport with shouldn’t depend on this?

OP posts:
PickaxeForGardening · 07/04/2023 22:24

Some back story or explanation would
help…

Babyandmexox · 07/04/2023 22:26

Can you pause your therapy until you’ve had the baby, are you under the perinatal mental health team? Or is this just regular therapy?

BadgerFacedCoo · 07/04/2023 22:27

They can't make you take the medicine, but they don't have to take you as a client either. If you don't trust them then they shouldn't be your therapist.

CeciNestPasUnPipi · 07/04/2023 22:30

More information is needed: how long have you been working with them? What is your diagnosis, if anything? How often have you been depressed? What discussions have you had around depression and medication? What is your family background of depression? What is your current relationship like? Have you had children before, and, if so, are you prone to PND?

As you can see, it's a complex issue, so I wonder why you're not discussing it with your therapist and bringing it here where the context is unavoidably oversimplified?

IShouldGoToSleep · 07/04/2023 22:30

Sorry that's bonkers! Find another therapist! I work in this field and I'd never expect a client to take meds if they didn't want to, pregnant or not.

Do you think the therapist is worried about you harming yourself? That might be why they r suggesting it - to ease their own anxiety.

Personally, I'd get a different therapist.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoon54321 · 07/04/2023 22:31

This is a private therapist. The pregnancy is high risk. She thinks I’m catastrophising too much. I’d much rather work through this with talking approaches than take drugs.

OP posts:
goodenoughmum88 · 07/04/2023 22:34

Are they accredited by a professional body? This is rather unethical…“do this or I won’t work with you”.

It sounds as though there’s a fracture in this relationship and perhaps it may be time for a review if you’re not being listened to…

Cinderellaspumpkin · 07/04/2023 22:35

I agree completely OP. SSRI's are being pushed onto pregnant women who do not want them. I have mild anxiety and lost count of the amount of time they were offered in pregnancy...

CeciNestPasUnPipi · 07/04/2023 22:35

Again, it's difficult to tell, because on the face of it she appears to be unreasonable, but I also know how therapists' words can be misinterpreted to sound one-sided when they are not. It's not that I don't believe you, but I would need more context, and perhaps there's no way of really getting that unless I'd been a fly on the wall. (I used to practise as a therapist.)

Original poster
TinaTeaspoon54321 · 07/04/2023 22:36

@CeciNestPasUnPipi Been with therapist a few weeks. No official diagnosis or significant family history. One previous pregnancy which was much more straightforward and no ante/post-natal depression.

OP posts:
IShouldGoToSleep · 07/04/2023 22:37

TinaTeaspoon54321 · 07/04/2023 22:31

This is a private therapist. The pregnancy is high risk. She thinks I’m catastrophising too much. I’d much rather work through this with talking approaches than take drugs.

You sound like you are taking the right approach. Most therapists and psychologists are not medically trained. It is not ethical for them, or within their field of competence, to advise you on anything to do with medication. I'd honestly ditch this therapist and find a better one. They don't sound like they are acting according to BPS or BABCP or any other accredition bodies guidelines. Ditch and move on.

CeciNestPasUnPipi · 07/04/2023 22:37

Okay, so you haven't seen her for long. Given that and what you say, I think she's out of order, and I'd be seeking out another therapist.

Babyandmexox · 07/04/2023 22:39

I’d be inclined to get a second opinion, this is someone you are paying to help. Speak to your midwife, your are entitled to free therapy (UK) during and up to a year after having a baby, I have never been told by any therapist to take or not take medication - that’s my choice not theirs pregnant or not. I came off all my meds whilst pregnant - due to risk, however some people can’t. I stopped therapy whilst pregnant as I was to stressful.. Im still unmedicated - by choice and awaiting my therapy referral again (no longer than 3 months I was advised).

pointythings · 07/04/2023 22:42

I'm very pro medication normally. My DD2 would not be here without it (and is still on therapy waiting lists). But in your case your therapist is wrong and you have to prioritise your pregnancy. I would strongly suggest you find another therapist and set out the boundaries from day 1.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/04/2023 22:43

It seems strange to me, but if you’ve only been with them a few weeks, find someone else.

usernamewhokknows · 07/04/2023 22:45

What country are you in?

Original poster
TinaTeaspoon54321 · 08/04/2023 07:56

In the UK.

OP posts:
tinyblackcat · 08/04/2023 08:19

We really need more context here. What kind of therapist is it? Who are they accredited with? What was the medication for?

katmarie · 08/04/2023 08:25

Agree a lot more detail is needed. Are they proposing referring you to a doctor who can prescribe? The majority of therapists don't have the relevant qualifications to prescribe medications. And what medication are they recommending?

Florissant · 08/04/2023 08:28

There is an information-shaped hole in the OP's post.

MagpieSong · 08/04/2023 08:33

This is wrong. It is entirely your choice. I’ve had a lot of experience in this area as an advocate and have also been sectioned myself. Under section, you do not have a choice really, that’s the point of it, but you should still have your thoughts listened to. As an outpatient or seeing a private therapist, there should not be this pressure. She can recommend it, but it is not ok to force it. Equally, she can withdraw services but it’s frustratingly unprofessional (but more common than people think). I’ve had a pregnancy on meds and a pregnancy not (for bipolar) and can understand why you want to work through or in therapy instead. Catastrophising can absolutely be worked through via therapy. I can see why she’s pushing it, as she may feel it would make it easier and quicker to work through and be seeing the birth as a time when she wants lots of progress to be made (making the time scale right), however, I can also see why you wouldn’t want to take them as it can be very upsetting if your baby has neonatal abstinence syndrome when they’re born etc. and we don’t fully understand exposure in Utero yet.

Is it possible to change therapists and be upfront from the beginning about your decision not to take medication?

MrsKHunt · 08/04/2023 08:39

Find another therapist and tell them why, they are not Dr's and shouldn't be advising on any medication
Have you actually spoken to your Dr about this ?

SquishyGloopyBum · 08/04/2023 08:55

It's difficult to advise without details.

Sometimes antidepressants can make a massive difference in therapy - they get you to a place where it's then easier to tackle the issues through therapy.

No one can make you take tablets, but that might mean that the therapy isn't going to be a success either.

Florissant · 08/04/2023 10:39

SquishyGloopyBum · 08/04/2023 08:55

It's difficult to advise without details.

Sometimes antidepressants can make a massive difference in therapy - they get you to a place where it's then easier to tackle the issues through therapy.

No one can make you take tablets, but that might mean that the therapy isn't going to be a success either.

Finally! A sensible post.

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 08/04/2023 14:39

Tablets might help you and plenty of people take them so ask yourself whether this is a bit of a knee jerk against them (like, have you always been a bit anti-pills?) or not. Be really honest with yourself.

if you don’t want to go down the meds route, you haven’t been with this person very long in therapy terms, just end the relationship and vote with your feet. Therapists like the rest of us have to learn and develop so if you choose this make sure you tell her why you are leaving so that she can consider the feedback for her progression as a better therapist. X