Fat with a Fattist

[Gemls3123]

I don’t know if that’s what people call it but I’m a size 18. By most people I’m classed as obese, plus size, whatever you want to call it.

My boyfriend doesn’t have any trouble with his weight. He doesn’t eat for a day and loses a stone.

He tells me he loves me but why does he shame people the same size as me on tv and in the street?

Probably because he’s a horrible person?

Because he’s a wanker. He’s letting you know he finds your size abhorrent (which it most certainly isn’t!) in a cowardly snide way.

You need to tell him that every time he does this, even though it's not 'first hand' directed at you, it's like a knife cutting through you.

How insensitive.

Sending lots of love.

He won’t say it directly but he is trying to make a point, most unpleasant.

What a tool.

Have you always been a size 18 OP or have you gained weight after getting together?

Im also a size 18 and would be furious if my OP made such comments!

My boyfriend doesn’t have any trouble with his weight. He doesn’t eat for a day and loses a stone.

He needs immediate medical attention.

DH not OP sorry!

He tells me he loves me but why does he shame people the same size as me on tv and in the street?

But to answer that question ^^ it's obviously because he's not happy with your weight.

If you are, then that's all that matters. Not what your Knobhead DP thinks.

Presumably he loves you for more than your body. What do you mean by ‘shame’? If you don’t like the things your boyfriend says dump him and focus on yourself.

He tells me he loves me but why does he shame people the same size as me on tv and in the street?

Regardless of your own weight and what he thinks about that, why on earth would you stay in a relationship with a man who behaves like such an obnoxious dick towards other people?

What do you mean shame?

what does he say about your weight?

are you happy with your weight?

cannot tell if he is being unreasonable without knowing the above.

Keep pulling him up on it. Very sharply. Tell him how it makes you feel and tell him how disgusting it is to judge others like that when you know nothing at all about them. Nothing about their medical histories or anything else. Not all of us "fatties" for want of any other word, are overeaters and couch potatoes. People have many reasons for being the way they are.

If after that he still doesn't stop it then consider whether or not the relationship has a future, as you will always feel judged by him otherwise.

He doesn't like fat people, he doesn't like that you are fat, he doesn't care that you know it.

Well in fairness whilst people may have conditions which can limit their mobility or thyroid problems etc come on most people are overweight because they over eat. When I have put on weight it’s because I have eaten too much. People need to be honest about this, there is serious denial about obesity and the health problems that come with it.

He loves you but doesn't find you attractive because of your weight and wants you to do something about it. If you're happy with your weight you should leave him and if you're not then lose the weight...and then leave him.

I don’t know but my sister used to do that (probably still does but we’re NC) and her daughter was very very large. It’s the combination of an eating disorder and being a really nasty person.

The amusing thing is that my sister’s H left her for a very attractive larger lady🙂.

Get rid of this mysogonistic pig. Yes fatshaming is a feminist issue

Maybe you’re not as fat as you think you are, or he doesn’t see you has that fat.

I disagree. Most men say same things to fat men aa they would say to fat woman. Actually more brutal. But somehow that's just "banter".

Probably cognitive dissonance. I don't think it's that surprising - there are for example many people who have biracial kids who say racist things and think nothing of it.