Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that valentines is actually a romantic celebration and not for small children?

47 replies

wannaBe · 14/02/2008 11:12

Personally i think that valentines is just a weeze for shops/restaurants etc to make yet more money and as such we don't bother at all.

But I do think that for those that do bother, it's about love and romance and red roses and chocolate and nice meals out etc, and I actually find it quite inappropriate that young children are taught about all that, that parents make cards for their children on valentines so they don't have to go without etc.

valentines is about romantic love, and imo is not for small children.

OP posts:
suzywong · 14/02/2008 11:16

YANBU

not for small children AT ALL

meemar · 14/02/2008 11:19

I think the influence from the US is coming over here. Over there Valentines is a big day for everyone and it's not just about romance.

I do agree with you though that our (uk) version of valentines is not suitable for little children.

chillin · 14/02/2008 11:20

Well, yes and no. Yes, it's for romantic love etc etc but no because it's a day that's just a bit different, less run of the mill.

It's also my birthday today so I've decorated the table and given the kids a heart shaped chocolate and a little heart shaped box with jellies in.

Hobnobfanatic · 14/02/2008 11:21

Try telling that to my DD's grandparents who sent her an e-card today, which said "I love you like a garbage man loves trash' and 'like a sow loves a friendly boar'. Wtf???!

rey · 14/02/2008 11:21

To be honest it causes such anguish in youngsters that I wish it would fade away. Saw a youngster walking to school this morning with a balloon and a red gift bag! hated this day when I was 13 onwards.

popsycal · 14/02/2008 11:21

agree
i was in a bad mood this morning and got a bit annoyed with a mate who berated me for not sending ds1 and 2 a card

EllieG · 14/02/2008 11:21

YANBU
DP used to get DSD a card. I pointed out to him that was a celebration of romantic love so please could he not (sounds very mean but was put much more nicely than that). She knows she is very loved by us both, I don't think there is anything wrong in having it a day for grown-ups.

WallOfSilence · 14/02/2008 11:24

Perhaps you could tell CLinton cards that?

When we were in there on Sat for a b'day card I saw cards "To Daddy on Valentines day" "To Mummy" etc.. to my son, to my daughter.... it is mad!

Nothing but a money making scheme. There will even be people stupid enough to buy them!

DD did make her dad one though, they made them at school!

EllieG · 14/02/2008 11:26

It really annoys me. Is one of my bugbears - can't just one sodding day be about your relationship as a couple?

buttercreamfrosting · 14/02/2008 11:27

YANBU. I don't mind my DC's bringing cards they've made back from school or nursery but certainly wouldn't want them buying me or DH one when old enough.

Original poster
wannaBe · 14/02/2008 11:29

dh was having this conversation at work and one of the guys he works with was saying that all his mates have been saying he should buy a card for his dw from their 8 mo baby! - wtf!

Now I make no secret of the fact that I think the whole of valentines (even for adults) is just a money-making exercise, but the whole sending of valentines to your kids is just a bit .

OP posts:
Ineedacleaner · 14/02/2008 11:31

I have to say though as a child especially quite a young one you don't get the difference between romantic love and the love from your parents.
When I was quite young I asked my mum why she never sent me a card and she tried to explain the difference but I just didn't get it. To me as a child it was black and white valentines is about love and I loved my mum and she loved me so after that she bought me a card.

meemar · 14/02/2008 11:31

The thing I find strange is when children send them to opposite sex parent but not same. e.g WallofScience - did your dd's school encourage her to make one for daddy but not mummy? Why?

I don't imagine many boys send them to their dads, but happily to their mums!

If it's not about romantic love
it's just a strange mixed message being sent out to kids about why they only send them to the opposite sex.

Hobnobfanatic · 14/02/2008 11:33

You're right, Ineedacleaner. My DD (4 yo) has already asked me to marry her when she's older!

Othersideofthechannel · 14/02/2008 11:35

First time I've heard about children sending cards to their parents.

I told DS what Valentine's day was about and asked if he'd like to make a card for anyone. He chose his best girl friend who he plans to marry and made her a card covered in hearts. It has duly been delivered.

He is 5 next month.

TigerFeet · 14/02/2008 11:36

DD made a valentine's card at nursery and gave it to the cat

We celebrate valentine's day as a day for making an effort to tell one another how much we love each other. Not really romantic at all but dh and I don't really do romance anyway. DD is involved to a certain extent, she gave her daddy some chocolate and me a packet of love hearts . Inexpensive and harmless bit of fun imho.

Ineedacleaner · 14/02/2008 11:37

Hobnobfanatic my dd is adamant she is marrying her little brother as he is her best friend after me lol.

SheherazadetheGoat · 14/02/2008 11:39

i think the whole thing is for twats! but dd did a drawing of a sad boy stuck in the mud for dh on valentines day! i think she has a fine future ahead of her.

Hulababy · 14/02/2008 11:40

Well I wouldn't send DD a Velntine's day card, but I don't think small children need to be necessarily not allowed to join in IYSWIM. DD made a card at school and they talked about what Ventine's Day was - she was very keen for me and DH to send cards to one another, lol.

And today it is her friend's birthday party and they are having a "hearts and crafts" party - presumably with Vaentine as the inspiration.

And DD and one of her friends tonight are having tea together, and I am making heart shaped pastry toppers to go on the casserole, and they have buns with hearts on.

To me it is just harmless fun and doesn't hurt anyone!

soopermum1 · 14/02/2008 11:40

i think YABU, i don't really see valenties day as any big thing, if it's a day for celebrating as a couple, that you want, do it on your anniversary. Everything looks so nice and inviting for kids, balloons, cakes, cards etc, why should they miss out on the fun? why should anyone miss out? if singles want to celebrate it, they should do so too. Love comes in many shapes and forms, even romantic love, and as Ineedacleaner says it's difficult to make a child distinguish between the two. I know my DS is enjoying valentines day at nursery much more than i am. he's getting little chocolate hearts, they're baking heart shaped biscuits and i think DH and I will be getting a lovely glittery card from him tonight. he appreciates and ejoys all the cheesiness much more than me and I see no harm in it. that said, i certainly wouldn't buy anything or buy him a valentine card until he's about 14 and then maybe i'll send him one of those anonamous ones in the post to boost his teenage ego

RosaLuxOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 14/02/2008 11:41

My DDs spent all last evening making cards for us and each other. It was totally spontaneous and so lovely. DD2 wrote in the card for DD1
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are my sister
So I love you.
I'm all for spreading the love.

LadyOfWaffle · 14/02/2008 11:41

I think it's about love, not romantic love/sex. Everything always has to be sexualised - I even give my mum flowers.

VictorianSqualor · 14/02/2008 11:43

Valentines cards are a pile of pants to me anyway, If I or DP get a card for any occasion it's nice, but it's still a 'oh thanks for the card you've bought me out of duty because someone else told you you have to do it on this day of the year' so we dont buy cards for each other.

As for flowers etc, I prefer DP to bring home flowers as a surprise because he thoguht of me, so that's something else we don't do, we'll be using valentines day as an excuse to snuggle up and eat chocolate, that isn't shaped like a heart and therefore much more expensive.
So yeah, I think kids receiving valentines cards is silly, as is them getting them for anyone else.

It's not like Saint Valentine even had anything to with love and courting etc, consumerism of the highest form.

VictorianSqualor · 14/02/2008 11:46

Oh and I don't care if they do stuff at school, I think that's fine, anything for the teachers to break the term up a bit and get the kids excited about something, if DD brings me home a card I'll say thankyou very much, because of the effort she has put into it, but she knows how I feel about these type of days.

Hulababy · 14/02/2008 11:48

I suppose I don't ereally see it as a romantic love thing anymore anyway. DH and I don't buy presents or do anything special We are more likely to celbrate romantic love on our annoversary. 2 days beofre Valentine's is my birthday - so we have just celebrated that.

To me, for now whilst DD is young, it is just fun. My little girl loves flowers and hearts, and pink and red, so Valentine's stuff just looks nice and fun to her. And for now I am letting her enjoy that innocent fun!

Swipe left for the next trending thread