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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be feel upset about being interrupted?

19 replies

PainProblems · 06/04/2023 22:40

Went out for a couple of drinks with friends. Home by 9pm

DH told me all about his day. I listened, asked questions, was genuinely interested

I started telling him something about work and he just started watching the telly and then while I was explaining something said "have you seen about the thing on the news?" While I was mid-sentence.

I stopped talking and said I wouldn't bother finishing my story. I saw a friend I haven't seen in 4 years and was in such a good mood and now feel irritated

DH says I'm being ridiculous and we are husband and wife and he should be relaxed enough to interrupt me but it made me feel v small and silly

Am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 06/04/2023 22:43

Yanbu he was rude.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 06/04/2023 22:43

Does he have form for this, especially when it's your "turn" to speak?

If yes, then YANBU and it's a symptom of bigger issues in your relationship.

If no, you still are NBU but I'd just express how it made you feel and move on.

readbooksdrinktea · 06/04/2023 22:44

No, you're not. He's being self-centred.

readbooksdrinktea · 06/04/2023 22:45

And yes, does he do this often? Don't put up with that.

BrioLover · 06/04/2023 22:48

YANBU. He was rude to interrupt and especially rude because he obviously wasn't listening to you in the first place.

PousseyNotMoira · 06/04/2023 22:49

Does he like it when you interrupt him? I bet he doesn’t.

Slitherie · 06/04/2023 22:50

My husband used to do this, I started repeating my sentence until he acknowledged what I’d said and I’d repeat it over and over again if I had to.

He doesn’t interrupt me anymore.

Original poster
PainProblems · 06/04/2023 22:51

He's now annoyed with me as he took the kids out by himself all day (he's a teacher) while I was at work and said "I spend all day with the kids by myself and yet now you're in a huff because I wanted to tell you what was on the news"

It seems really insignificant but he made me feel like shit in that moment and I can't shake it. Probably best to go to bed

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 06/04/2023 22:55

PainProblems · 06/04/2023 22:51

He's now annoyed with me as he took the kids out by himself all day (he's a teacher) while I was at work and said "I spend all day with the kids by myself and yet now you're in a huff because I wanted to tell you what was on the news"

It seems really insignificant but he made me feel like shit in that moment and I can't shake it. Probably best to go to bed

He wants a prize for parenting his own kids?! What the hell?

Your husband is being a dick. He’s saying this nonsense because you’re engaging with, internalising and tolerating it. Stop doing so.

CuriousMama · 06/04/2023 22:55

Oh bully for him. Give him a medal.

No it doesn't give him licence to be ignorant.

BrioLover · 06/04/2023 22:56

You can't shake it off because it's all about him. It's a glimmer of his own self-importance and that's not nice to see when you're married to him.

Original poster
PainProblems · 06/04/2023 23:05

If I was being generous I'd say he genuinely got distracted by the telly and was wanting to see if I'd seen that particular story

My gut is telling me he doesn't like hearing about my day particularly if I've met up with friends and he seems to often find a way to make me feel unimportant - like he's bringing me down a peg or two

Who knows. But we've gone to bed weirdly silent with each other. Ugh.

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 06/04/2023 23:12

PainProblems · 06/04/2023 23:05

If I was being generous I'd say he genuinely got distracted by the telly and was wanting to see if I'd seen that particular story

My gut is telling me he doesn't like hearing about my day particularly if I've met up with friends and he seems to often find a way to make me feel unimportant - like he's bringing me down a peg or two

Who knows. But we've gone to bed weirdly silent with each other. Ugh.

If I was being generous I'd say he genuinely got distracted by the telly and was wanting to see if I'd seen that particular story

So what, though? That doesn’t justify his reaction when you asked him to stop interrupting you.

My gut is telling me he doesn't like hearing about my day particularly if I've met up with friends and he seems to often find a way to make me feel unimportant - like he's bringing me down a peg or two

Your relationship sounds awful, OP. I’m very sorry.

IWineAndDontDine · 06/04/2023 23:13

Totally get it, it's not the action in itself (seemingly minor) but what it represents- which is him not really giving a shit about your day, which in turn makes it feel like he doesn't give a shit about you.

It hurts a bit when my husband does this. Not often, and not on purpose, only when he's distracted by something. But it makes me feel like he doesn't care.

Don't let him tell you it was a small insignificant thing. TECHNICALLY it is, but it's the lack of respect that's shit

RuffledKestrel · 06/04/2023 23:15

This is something that really annoyes me. And for some reason seems to happen to me all the time with a variety of people.
I'm not sure if the candance of my voice encourages people to but in or what but it's one of my top annoyances of all time and try as I might, it always frustrates me.

Depending on who does it to me now I either stay totally silent untill they ask me a question, tell them not to but in, or simply walk away from them entirely without saying anything else.

Allmyghosts · 06/04/2023 23:21

I had this with my family when I was younger, my mother actually said "why do you say things twice" Err cos no fucker listens, my emotions were always dismissed as me being silly. If he keeps doing this,persist, don't stop your story and feel wounded, finish it!

Marsyas · 06/04/2023 23:22

DH does this sometimes, or in the middle of me saying something he will suddenly tell off one of the children or something, which I think shows he wasn’t really listening. I just stop talking pointedly and he usually apologises and begs me to say what I was going to say.
Ironically he absolutely hates it when he is interrupted himself.

thegrain · 07/04/2023 09:21

I mean big wow he took the kids for a day...

WunWun · 07/04/2023 09:25

The comment about how you should be relaxed enough that he can completely disregard what you're saying talk over you would have pissed me off most.

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