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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go to A&E for mental health? I don’t feel like I’m properly me

77 replies

shouldigotohospital · 06/04/2023 21:37

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. Have tried 111 but an hours wait. Am known to crisis for post traumatic stress, but they shut at 8. I know where I am, date, time of day, who I am, but I don’t feel like I’m in my own body and feel weirdly scared of everything. Put the big stuff light out to see if I could sleep and had to turn it straight back on because I was scared there was something waiting in the dark.

Everything doesn’t feel real like it’s all in my imagination, heating and sight aren’t right and hands don’t feel right

I’ve never had this before

I’m not sure if I should go to hospital or not. Am only 10 mins in to hours wait. A&E is across the street. Can they do anything in this?

OP posts:
OllytheCollie · 06/04/2023 23:21

It sounds like you are handling this extremely well. As others have said it sounds most like depersonalization which is a very distressing symptom of trauma and you already have a diagnosis of a trauma disorder. You do need to be seen but as you have been advised not necessarily tonight. As awful as it is it is unlikely to get worse. If this is now a feature of how you experience trauma then you clearly need a crisis plan for managing it. Meds can help but I am a psychologist. I mainly try and work with people on behavioural techniques to help them stay focused whilst they experience this. Separately the causes of your trauma need to be addressed in therapy.

If you are already having therapy, perversely the start of depersonalization now could be a sign it is working. Sometimes the brain starts to explore disturbing memories before our bodies are ready to deal with them and depersonalization can be a safety mechanism for preventing us experiencing worse distress. Just noticed @BatildaB explains this well. DO NOT start exploring this on Mumsnet now, if you are in therapy discuss it there. If not discuss it with your CPN. But stuff you share online could be triggering and you need to focus on feeling safe in your body now.

In some people this sense of unreality could be the first stage of a psychotic episode. That is one reason you need to be seen soon. BUT you already have a diagnosis of trauma which would explain this symptom and you have excellent insight that this is not normal for you. No one online can rule it out, but it seems a less likely explanation.

It is just as bad either way. I hope you can get some sleep. You may find googling sensory grounding techniques helpful to get it more manageable so you can get to sleep.

sweetdreamstenasee · 06/04/2023 23:23

I had something similar, went to

sweetdreamstenasee · 06/04/2023 23:24

sorry, went to a&e and they gave me a diazepam to calm me but sitting in the waiting room felt excruciating so something to keep in mind.

Do you have a trusted friend to come and keep you company?

Original poster
shouldigotohospital · 06/04/2023 23:29

OllytheCollie · 06/04/2023 23:21

It sounds like you are handling this extremely well. As others have said it sounds most like depersonalization which is a very distressing symptom of trauma and you already have a diagnosis of a trauma disorder. You do need to be seen but as you have been advised not necessarily tonight. As awful as it is it is unlikely to get worse. If this is now a feature of how you experience trauma then you clearly need a crisis plan for managing it. Meds can help but I am a psychologist. I mainly try and work with people on behavioural techniques to help them stay focused whilst they experience this. Separately the causes of your trauma need to be addressed in therapy.

If you are already having therapy, perversely the start of depersonalization now could be a sign it is working. Sometimes the brain starts to explore disturbing memories before our bodies are ready to deal with them and depersonalization can be a safety mechanism for preventing us experiencing worse distress. Just noticed @BatildaB explains this well. DO NOT start exploring this on Mumsnet now, if you are in therapy discuss it there. If not discuss it with your CPN. But stuff you share online could be triggering and you need to focus on feeling safe in your body now.

In some people this sense of unreality could be the first stage of a psychotic episode. That is one reason you need to be seen soon. BUT you already have a diagnosis of trauma which would explain this symptom and you have excellent insight that this is not normal for you. No one online can rule it out, but it seems a less likely explanation.

It is just as bad either way. I hope you can get some sleep. You may find googling sensory grounding techniques helpful to get it more manageable so you can get to sleep.

Thank you so much, you and a few other posts, that’s really really helped a lot. Will save that, that’s really reassuring.

I haven’t got any kids no, and yes im at home alone. Managed to calm down a bit and eat a —packet— few biscuits, and drink something. Hopefully MH team ring shortly. I’m guessing won’t see anyone as it’s not as weird as it was a couple of hours ago. It’s a bloody horrible feeling yes.

OP posts:
BatildaB · 06/04/2023 23:46

So happy to see your update that you're already feeling a bit better, I will be thinking of you. I wish no one ever had to feel that way. You've had such wonderful advice from @OllytheCollie. I just wanted to post once more before I go to bed to add kind of a silly thing - I used to find holding a cup of really hot tea about the most magically grounding thing there is - like too hot to drink, just touching your palms to the mug and smelling it. Put on some tv or audio that will make you laugh, hold some tea, and remember that lots of people have felt just like you feel right now who can now look back on it as nothing but a long-ago memory. X

HangingOver · 06/04/2023 23:49

Hugs op. Derealization is the absolute pits. When it first happened to me I thought I'd had a stroke something the symptoms are just so utterly weird.

But remember this.... It cannot hurt you and it WILL go. I've had two episodes in the past, both went after about ten days. For me, hot showers really helped. Avoid mirrors. Try not to symptom check. It will definitely definitely go away I promise.

Dahliass · 06/04/2023 23:55

Don't ask MN about opinions on going to A&E , they don't know your full clinical history. I hope you feel better soon xx

OldFan · 07/04/2023 00:06

Nothing wrong with going to A&E when you're in a mental health crisis @shouldigotohospital , go if you don't feel right.

No one else (esp randoms on a forum) can decide that you shouldn't.

You'll get an assessment and help accessing further treatment.

I've been a few times for my bipolar over the years, and they've always been really helpful (though a bit of a wait of course.)

OldFan · 07/04/2023 00:10

It sounds like derealization/depersonalisation. People get it as a result of extreme anxiety/stress. As PP's said, it can feel worse than it is. But A&E have always been good to you the few times I've been.

Glad if you're feeling slightly more able to wait for the team to call (if that's what you decide to do. x)

OldFan · 07/04/2023 00:10

*good to me

ejl581 · 07/04/2023 00:20

Most A&E departments have a liaison psychiatry service attached to them for people to access in these circumstances

EmmaEmerald · 07/04/2023 00:25

OP I used to have this, along with panic attacks. Apparently sugar really does help - something to do with balancing adrenaline and cortisol. So it's not just another excuse for me to eat sugar!

I think you'd likely find A&E a distressing place to be, so hold on for that call and watch something comforting, even if it's just like Simon's Cat or something short that doesn't need brain work. I've been there, you will get better Flowers

Strawberrypicnic · 07/04/2023 00:25

Another person echoing derealisation/depersonalisation, I've experienced it as a result of panic attacks. Don't underestimate how scary/weird it can make you feel (I say that only because I felt SO strange that I convinced myself it must be something far worse!). Worrying about it perpetuates and intensifies it so if you can, try to speak to an emergency GP and request a few days' supply of anti-anxiety meds to tide you over until you can tackle the underlying problem. Feel free to PM if you need to.

Mamanyt · 07/04/2023 01:02

I'd go. Just in case. Because I was feeling very "not in my own skin," shrugged it off, and the next day fell on my floor with a full-blown stroke. However, and that said, I do not and did not have any "serious" mental health issues in my near past.

TeaChocKitKat · 07/04/2023 08:09

Hey OP. Hope you are OK and that the call was helpful last night. I'm hoping they were able to give you something to knock you out and that things will be a lot better when you wake up. X

Original poster
shouldigotohospital · 07/04/2023 11:21

Someone did ring at about 2am in the end, and said sleep would help, said same about depersonalised/derealisation, also said I should get seen by psychology within 6-8 weeks and been referred for social/community support as well now.

I do remember about 2-3 years ago psychiatry suggested I should be given low dose anti psychotic alongside anti depressants so going to ask about that today. Don’t think I am psychotic but mood is either very anxious/agitated or very low - there’s no in between ground and very difficult to control.

OP posts:
Divisionoflabour89 · 07/04/2023 11:27

I’m glad you got a call back op and are going to see a consultant soon (well 6-8 weeks is not great but at least it’s something).

Have you got anything planned for Easter?

OldFan · 07/04/2023 12:21

I do remember about 2-3 years ago psychiatry suggested I should be given low dose anti psychotic alongside anti depressants so going to ask about that today. Don’t think I am psychotic but mood is either very anxious/agitated or very low - there’s no in between ground and very difficult to control.

@shouldigotohospital Definitely try and push for the powers that be to let you try them, as it could help. If you find you don't get on with one major tranquilizer then there are quite a few different ones they can try, it's worth taking trying treatment options as far as you can.

Towmatertomato · 07/04/2023 13:18

Quetiapine is often used for dysregulated moods. It's potentially that one they recommended to you.

BatildaB · 07/04/2023 13:25

I'm sure you know all of this already, but if you're thinking about additional medication, do make sure you've got all the basics in place as well or first - cutting out caffeine and alcohol, going to bed at a regular time, finding an understanding therapist, socialising regularly with nice people. It took me a long time to do all that sort of thing because it felt so 'little' in the context of such real and overwhelmingly huge sensations and feelings, but in the long run it's what made a sustainable difference.

Original poster
shouldigotohospital · 07/04/2023 13:25

It was quetiapine yes, I remember at the time saying I didn’t want it but I would happy try it now.

Was told either that or they were going to try add Buspirone or venflaxine to the mirtazapine that I’m already on.

I haven’t actually seen someone face to face about mental health in over three years. I’ve seen a GP twice in that time, but not seen anyone else face to face at all - it’s always just phone calls. I don’t know how they can always judge how things are just on a phone call.

Just to see someone and get a chance to talk in the same room rather than it always being 10 minute phone calls would
make a huge difference.

OP posts:
BatildaB · 07/04/2023 13:38

Make sure you ask them about whether the existing drug could be contributing to the depersonalisation, it can be a side effect or exacerbated by various medications. I feel like there's often pressure because of costs in mental health to prescribe a new drug rather than provide therapy, and while of course they can be really helpful, it's important to be fully informed and make your own decisions, especially about side-effects and what the withdrawal is like.

I hope you get to see someone face to face soon.

TheHoover · 07/04/2023 13:38

OP, a mental health crisis is an emergency. If it happens again out of crisis team hours please do not hesitate to go. And I am one of the most ‘stay out of A&E’ people around.

I hope your referral to a CMHT comes through soon 💐

gogohmm · 07/04/2023 13:46

My dd is on mirtazapine but she also has Diazepam for when she really needs it, she's had similar feelings to what you described in the past.

Our a&e has a mental health suite and the wait isn't that long (but there's only one so you can get unlucky if there's someone waiting for transport to a mental health unit in there who is too agitated to go into the general hospital area!) we were frequent flyers through the teen/early adult years alas

OldFan · 07/04/2023 14:50

@shouldigotohospital I'm on Quetiapine and it's ok. I tried several other ones before for my bipolar (which I don't think you have as you don't have highs, but rather anxiety/aggitation and depression) - Olanzipine, Rispiridone etc. It's all trial and error until you find what's best for you.

I knew someone else who was on it to chill her out (in her case, she has Borderline.)