Why are books, puzzles, board games not real presents?

[kavalkada]

I see it all the time on mumsnet. You have real presents, and then 5 books, 3 puzzles, 2 board games as filler presents. I can't count the number of times I have read that books are not presents, that is something you give every day.

In my house all these presents are real, nornal presents, nothing that has to be filled with something else.

So what is situation in your home? Can you give your child a board game, a book and a puzzle for birthday or you have to buy something else because your child would say they got nothing for birthday?

A book voucher is considered an extremely exciting gift in our house.

Board games... massive difference between the small ones for preschool ages and the complex ones for older children/adults. DH got one that cost £70 las Christmas!

My DS loves books so family mostly buy him books as gifts.
On christmas day, he unwrapped a whole load of santa presents and sat in the middle of all of the 'big' presents reading a book.

So in our house bikes etc are never the main present because if they have outgrown theirs I don’t want them to wait 6 months for a new one. For each of their last birthdays both my kids got books and games. One got some puzzles, the other isn’t into it. Plus for the one into Lego he got some expensive Lego. It never occurred to me these weren’t ‘real’ presents. Surely the value of the present lies in how much it’s used and cherished. A good book or a board game may be far more ‘valuable’.

And yes we have some expensive board games- DS1 gave me a long list of board games and I picked from them. But we do play them a lot.

We like “something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read”. I think ideally you should have a mix of different presents. Would definitely include book and puzzle but not count as the “main present”.

@MangshorJhol totally agree on bikes/scooters. I especially think the middle of winter is a terrible time to give a child a new bike.

We also love board games, and now even my soon to be 4 year old is starting to love them. Lotti Karooti, Enchanted Tower and Kingdomino are hits now.
My eight year old playes his first game of Concordia a week ago, I was so proud.

The biggest gift is to actually play the game with the child.

I remember babysitting for a child who had virtually every game that had ever been made, but none of them had been opened. He was five years old and said I was the first person who had ever played games with him.

His parents used to sit him with an iPad where he did games like Candy Crush without know what the hell he was doing. But he was keeping quiet which is what the parents wanted.

That book looks stunning! Can't wait till DD is old enough for it. I can think of a couple of friends kids who will be getting that as a present this year!

As to the OP - books and games are definitely presents in our house/families/friendship group. I could see for a teenager perhaps books being an "add on" to a main present but for younger children they're definitely good presents.

For those saying board games are cheap, you should look at some of the ones for serious board gamers. Especially if you add expansion packs.

Easily north of £100. Could happily be a main present.

When I was a kid we thought clothes were not real presents as we had no interest in them and would have been bought stuff to wear regardless.
Books and games very much were real presents.

They are real presents. People on MN are batshit.

Definitely real presents. I think the reason some people don't see them as 'real presents' is that they are more 'worthy' IYSWIM- maybe they think people give them to children because they're educational or skill-building and think a present should be something that's just pure entertainment. Whatever the reason, I don't agree because the board games and books are things we use every day- my 4yo gets much more enjoyment hours out of those types of presents over, say, a year than he does out of most toys that seem to get played with now and then.

He also very much thinks clothes are presents 😆 he really likes clothes. Give him anything with a dinosaur or Spider-Man on and he'll be putting it on straight away and admiring himself in the hallway mirror 😆

As someone who is a bookworm and has been since childhood I see books/puzzles very much as "real" presents but they're not "treats" in the same way other presents are.

If DD ever wanted a book or a puzzle then we'd either borrow it from the library or I'd buy it for her just because, I wouldn't make her wait for a specific reason like a birthday/Christmas to get it unless it was really expensive. I wouldn't do the same for a toy - if there was a toy she really wanted then she'd have to add it to her Christmas or birthday lists and hope someone bought it, or very occasionally I would treat her to a toy for a reason - eg a good school report, winning a competition, passing a music exam etc - but I wouldn't just by toys for the sake of it.

That means that birthdays and Christmases the priority is letting her have stuff she wouldn't normally get on a regular basis ie toys, but I will always get her a couple of books/puzzles to supplement any "priority presents".

I do the same for my nieces and nephews - I will always buy them something and a book ... The "something" will always be an item that they want and the book will be an age appropriate book on a topic/subject/author I know they're interested in. Everyone in the family knows I do this and it's a long standing joke that when I turn up to a party with the two wrapped gifts they try to figure out which one is the book and try to guess what book it might be before the child opens it.

I think it goes back to childhood and Christmas stockings. The boring presents were worthy books and board games

Your kids never get a new book except at Christmas or birthdays ? That seems so sad to me 😔

To answer the OP, I don't have DC but when I was a child books were absolutely proper presents (virtually all our presents were clothes, books, puzzles, craft materials and cuddly toys rather than the 'proper' toys that my friends used to get) but my parents also bought us books all the time. My mum always says books are essentials, not luxuries, that's why they're vat exempt !

I think it entirely depends on the person you are buying for.

DS1 loves books, puzzles and board games. They are things he would chose to spend birthday money on.

DS2 gets these things because I think he should have them. He isn't excited about them.

Are they not?? I'm really confused now, but to each their own ig 💁these are very much presents in our house, and I agree that anything could be a present if given to the right person. When I first got into photography, my cousin got me a Photoworks subscription so that I'd work with a decent software and not some online crap, and I was beyond grateful and use it to this day. However, this will not be viewed as a present by someone who's not interested in the whole thing, so really depends on the person.

Well you can buy rubbish books and board games - I go to lengths checking recs from MN and books stars on Amazon etc.
Feel sad gor DGCs when the books are crap and board games are impossible - these presents can.just be cheap offers or. Cheap stocking fillers

Really? Books aren't gifts?

Well if that's the case, DD is going to be miffed on their birthday over the weekend. I've got them the entire set of You books.

(Although, they did ask for them so who knows)