Going through divorce after separation of around 18 months. We have two teenage DC who reside with me on a full time basis.
STBXH works away on a 3 week on, 3 week off shift pattern - he has never wanted formal arrangements for contact arrangements and instead expects to make contact with the DC and arrange through them (often last minute) when he would like to see them.
Contact arrangements are currently school pick ups, the occasional meal out or visit to the cinema. The relationship between him and the DC has broken down and he blames me for ‘poisoning the DC against him’ - this is completely untrue.
I have asked him for some stable plans to see the DC as I feel this would help matters. He has said that as they are teenagers, he should be able to just arrange things through them and I’m being controlling by expecting set days / more structured arrangements.
He is adamant he will not put a plan in place yet his current approach with the DC isn’t working either. How do I sort this? I really want the DC to have a good relationship with him yet everything seems to be on his terms…