To refuse to do the washing up?

[Dahliass]

On holiday in a lodge no dishwasher 1st world problems I know. I require a special diet for medical reasons , I don't eat the same meals as my family. I prepare some meals for 10 year old DD. I've told DD she will have to wash her plate and cup. I told DH I'm not doing the washing up or I will just wash a few of DDs stuff. I'm sick of washing all the dishes when I don't consume the food. DH started saying I was taking the piss etc. The sink is full of plates again and DH is saying it's my turn. I haven't used any of them.

I arranged all the shopping bought all the food, packed up the car drove us here 5 hours. I ordered and drove to collect the takeaway we had tonight which I didn't eat. I haven't been able to sleep in the bed as DH farts and starfishes so I've been on the sofa in the cold. I asked him to swap and he goes on the sofa tonight he said no as I should just get in the bed and deal with it. I paid half for this shitty holiday I just want to pack up tomorrow and drive home at least I've got my dishwasher and online delivery 🤣.

It's the worst holiday I've ever been on.

How are you not using any plates, cutlery, glasses etc even on a different diet?

Your husband is an arse. How was that going to change on holiday?

If you’re doing all the cooking, can’t DH the washing up? He sounds usesless, selfish and gross.

I think DH is doing the cooking for himself plus most of the DCs meals, and OP is refusing to wash any dishes that are not personally her dishes?

It’s not very clear.

I wash my own glass I'm on liquid only.

Nope I've arranged all the food shopping, meal planning ordering takeaway, a lot of the food preparation and drove to the sodding place.

It sounds petty to me. Whoever cooks doesn't have to wash up. Thems the usual rules

What does he bring to the relationship?

Why can't you all do it together? DD and DH can either wash or dry, and someone puts away?

It's not the washing up that would tip me over the edge. It would be the refusal to swap to the sofa and selfishness in bed r.e. starfishing and farting. I am honestly wondering how you don't resent him so much right now.

Sorry, but does “food prep” mean you are cooking the meals or not? (I see the odd takeaway). What does DH do? Anything?

The bed thing is odd. If you can’t sleep in the same bed, then why did you book a holiday that has you sharing a bed?

Yes cooking.

YANBU Op - you're not his parent or carer. He should be cleaning up after himself. Can you go home? Sounds miserable otherwise if he's generally used to treating you like a skivvy.

So if your partner makes them self a sandwich, you should wash up the plate they used, because them's the rules?

Surely the rules are: clear up after yourself, that's what grown ups do?

We have a super king at home it's a very small double in the lodge.

Ok, well yes I agree with you. The usual rule is one cooks and the other does the washing up. I wouldn’t be having the child wash their own.

Well that was a mistake. Can you ask the lodge owner to provide a roll away cot or something so it’s not the sofa you or DH are sleeping on? Or put a DC on the roll away and you have one of their singles?

She's 10 I was washing up from the age of 7. It's promoting independence. I don't ask her to wash everything just her own plate and cup.

Ok. I was doing a lot from a young age too and it promoted resentment in me, so I took a different tact with my DC. You’re free to parent how you wish.