Struggling with new flatmate

[feelingweirdlyintimidated]

Student accommodation but mostly mature students. 5 of us in total, share a kitchen with en-suite bedrooms.

Flatmate moved out two weeks ago, we get on very well, shared meals, go out at weekends, etc.

Her tenancy was taken over by someone who lived in different student accommodation, across the street - moved in within 24 hours - she claimed she needed to move as no getting on with her other flatmates.

Kitchen has enough cupboards for 4 each (seriously, it’s massive). Also has an oven, grill, and fridge freezer with a shelf each again.

New flatmate has moved all cupboards around to suit herself, moving others belongings.

She has had people round all day, every day - last night had people in until 3am, they were back at 9am and haven’t left yet. Around about ten people in the kitchen just now. Starts cooking dinner at 3pm but they don’t eat until now-later.

Every single door locks itself for security, you can only get in with a keycard, but they keep going out to smoke - and then thumping the door down to get back in.

I have gone through, said hello, sent a message on FB a before she moved in - been completely blanked. Flatmate who still lives here and I plus flatmate who moved out were sitting having coffee in kitchen the other day and she came through, we all said hi - again completely blanked.

I’m not very good socially, I struggle with groups of people I don’t know but I’m bloody hungry - but can’t bring myself to go through to kitchen where I’m going to be standing with 10 people I don’t know, and a flatmate who’s blanking me completely .

I can’t not use the kitchen at all but not sure how to get this sorted? Just go through and if she ignores me she ignores me?

did you get to pick the new person or was the room allocated by someone else?

can you & other flatmates get together to set some 'house rules' of how the kitchen cupboards are used / what times to be quiet etc?

10 people? Ffs she is being ridiculous.

Are your other flatmates home just now? You should all go through.

I would complain to the student accommodation. She's got a history of being a crap housemate. She was probably chucked out of the last one.

I would tell them she's having 12 people round all day every day, and they're coming and going and disturbing the rest of you.

Nip it in the bud. She either stops being a selfish (and rude) twat, or she looks elsewhere.

Oh, and I'd be swapping the cupboards back and leaving a note, explaining which cupboards are hers and asking her not to move others belongings in the future. She's testing you; show her you won't take her crap.

Are there any house rules? Mutual expectations?

That sounds horrible! Make a complaint.

Flatmates - my worst nightmare.

I'd rather be broke and live alone then have money and share with strangers.

There aren’t any house rules, managed to get by on mutual respect for the last nine months but apparently she doesn’t possess any…

I’ll definitely go down to the office/email tomorrow.

Other flatmates - one isn’t likely to be at all bothered as she’s out all day long, other is also in process of moving out, third I know will be bothered so am hoping to catch her tomorrow.

It’s not being able to use the kitchen that’s bothering me, I’m bloody hungry!

"she claimed she needed to move as not getting on with her other flatmates..."

Quelle surprise.

I think you need to do a few things:-

First of all look at whatever documentation you have relating to your own tenancy/accommodation - it should set out provisions about the manner in which tenants or however you are described/classed (licensees?) need to behave. Is this new person meeting those requirements/standards or in breach of them? If in breach, list which provisions and how she is in breach.

Then contact whoever is letting the property to each of you, (student accommodation office j assume) and calmly but firmly explain the issues and ask what they are going to do about it. At this stage it will probably be a case of you saying she needs to abide by the requirements and if she does so be it. You probably won't be able to jump immediately to "she must go!" You are asking them to step in and tell her to abide by the rules or take the consequences.

If she doesn't then do so, you can then say she's been given a chance, she's blown it, she has to go.

This behaviour isn't just unpleasant and bloody annoying, it is likely to have an impact on your study. In addition to have so many non- residents coming and going is a security risk, particularly if you are in an all female unit and there are unknown males able to get access. It's not on.
^
As a pp said, I'd be inclined together with the other existing sharers to move the cupboard contents back as before and force the issue - you need to stand up to her, she's probably got away with bad behaviour in the past because she's a CF and other people don't like confrontation.^

Go in to the kitchen and make your food. If she ignores you she ignores you. Such is life with rude people.

make a complaint. If she’s like this already then it’s unlikely to improve. When someone says they’re having difficulty with their other flat mates it can be a warning sign that they’re the problem.