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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Lifts to work

14 replies

Sfuandtired · 04/04/2023 20:29

I give 3 colleagues a lift to work and back most days, it’s on my way, no hassle to do so other than the occasional time I could have perhaps done with nipping somewhere else after work.
DH says that my colleagues are basically taking me for a bit of a mug by not contributing financially, and doesn’t think I should do it, whereas I think it’s on my way and not a problem to do so, who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Timeforachangeisitnot · 04/04/2023 20:32

I think it would be nice if your colleagues offered to reimburse you for fuel , at least sometimes. You are not a mug, but that’s a big favour.

Bucketheadbucketbum · 04/04/2023 20:33

I guess it depends on if they are taking you for granted or not

Eg
-what would happen if your car was out of action for a week or so, would they repay the favour?

do they keep you hanging around / other annoyances during the journey etc

how far do you travel

have they ever offered lifts in return / money etc

L3ThirtySeven · 04/04/2023 20:34

They should be contributing financially. It’s not fair for you to bear 100% of the costs of commuting.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 04/04/2023 20:36

Even if you aren't going out of your way one metre, or one wheel turn, I'd still kind of hope for either an offer of money or a Christmas/birthday bottle of wine a couple of times a year!
Think how much they're saving!
I'm sure if you decided it was costing you too much and you wanted to cycle from now on unless you had something towards the cost... I'm sure they'd offer then!!

Rudicoolcat · 04/04/2023 20:38

Contributions to fuel are basic manners for car share arrangements. What do they do when you are on annual leave or sick?

Therealjudgejudy · 04/04/2023 20:40

Why are they not giving you money fuel?

That's just basic manners.

They are all treating you like a free taxi

ilovesooty · 04/04/2023 20:41

I agree with your husband.

IncompleteSenten · 04/04/2023 20:44

You are happy to not make your journey cheaper by sharing costs. Your husband thinks they are benefitting from the free rides and it's not saving you anything when it could.

You pay for the fuel, you get the wear and tear on the car and they get a chauffeur for free. I can see why your husband thinks it's a bit off.

FairFuming · 04/04/2023 20:51

I think your DH has a point. They should be chipping in towards fuelor at least offering to do the lifts sometimes. How do they get to work if you are off?

AFloridian · 04/04/2023 20:51

I’m with you Op.

I always gave a colleague a lift to work -not back as we finished at different times.
It never occurred to me to expect a contribution from her as I was driving there anyway, and she waited on the main road so no detour. I’d have felt a right CF with my hand out wanting money!

Poppyblush · 04/04/2023 21:07

They should at least buy you a regular bottle, flowers or chocs!

melj1213 · 04/04/2023 21:34

I think that even if you're not going out of your way the colleagues should be at least making a courtesy offer of reimbursement. It's the whole "It's nice to be asked" situation - you have no intention of charging them for the lifts but it would be nice for them to acknowledge that you're doing them a massive favour by making the offer to pay towards fuel costs at least.

I used to have a colleague who would insist on giving me a lift home after work when we were on the closing shifts together, even though I was happy to walk home, but she refused to take any petrol money as "it was a detour of less than a minute on the way home anyway" so instead I just made sure to buy her her favourite bottle of spirits for her birthday/Christmas and then every so often I'd just get her a little something "just because" - we work in a supermarket so if I was buying a drink and snack for my break I'd get a bar of chocolate as part of my meal deal and give it to her, or at Easter I'd get her a little Easter egg or if we were talking about our favourite snacks or new products we wanted to try which was a frequent topic of conversation then sometimes I'd go and buy one for each of us to try. It wasn't every week or even every month but just every so often I'd buy a little treat and if she tried to refuse it then I'd just tell her to take it "as thanks for the lifts since you won't take petrol money".

JudgeRudy · 01/10/2023 16:11

I think if it's not inconveniencing you too much and there's 3 of them the actual petrol money from each would be minimal. If I was the person getting the lift I'd be more likely to say on Friday, here, let me buy you lunch.

owlsmummy · 01/10/2023 16:17

yabu. Your DH is right. Why on earth do you think you should fund 100% of two colleagues' communing costs??? bizarre

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