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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much TV time should nanny give kids

145 replies

yadayadaa · 04/04/2023 20:26

When watching a three year old and one year old ?

OP posts:
Yazo · 04/04/2023 23:28

If I'd put TV on as a parent on a long day I'd be happy with a nanny doing the same. Especially if you've given the nanny a long list of cooking, cleaning and washing to be done as I hear is often par for the course.

Yfory · 05/04/2023 00:05

Id say no more than 30 minutes in 24hours with those ages.

Skinnermarink · 05/04/2023 00:14

How much of a nanny is she though? You say ‘watching’ your children. That’s not really the way anyone would describe a working professional nanny.

Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 07:50

Skinnermarink · 05/04/2023 00:14

How much of a nanny is she though? You say ‘watching’ your children. That’s not really the way anyone would describe a working professional nanny.

This is the start of her time with us and I guess right now she's filling the role of a mothers help more than a nanny because I'm still around a lot.

I am cooking/ doing laundry and cleaning and she watches the children while I do these things. Then I pop out to do a few work related calls for an hour or two. It's not a normal situation at the moment whatsoever so I shouldn't really judge it on that. When I'm actually not there, it will be very different because nanny will actually be looking after them by herself.

I think for now I'll just let her do whatever she feels she needs to do to keep them entertained. But I would prefer a bit less TV and a bit more interaction but I recognise it's a tricky phase. Although, like I said, I'm doing everything else - like cooking / clearing up after lunch etc. so her only thing right now is being the one with the kids. It's just been a couple of days anyway. Today I'm going to leave for a longer period of time, so things will be different I'm sure.

OP posts:
londontimes · 05/04/2023 07:55

> Today I'm going to leave for a longer period of time, so things will be different I'm sure.*
*
More Tv?🙄😬

Isthisexpected · 05/04/2023 08:35

How will you know? Better to set your stall out now.

Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 08:39

Isthisexpected · 05/04/2023 08:35

How will you know? Better to set your stall out now.

I will mention it in a nice way today. It's just a weird situation at the moment as I'm at home a lot and doing stuff. Can't be easy for nanny either.

This is also nanny's first gig as a nanny.

OP posts:
Greydogs123 · 05/04/2023 08:44

I think you need to be more explicit in your expectation of tv watching. Tell her that you would like the children to only have tv for one or two programmes and that’s it. If you don’t set this expectation now then she’s going to just be in a habit and won’t bother finding other things to do. Is she trained in childcare? What sort of hours will she be doing solo?

SkyandSurf · 05/04/2023 08:49

I've had a few Nannies and the trick is to be really clear from the outset what your expectations are.

I would write a list of instructions with their schedule, and then at the bottom I have a section 'things that are important to us' and it has things like

  • wear hats and sunscreen outside
  • don't fill them up on bread etc - we want them to eat lots of vegetables and fruit
  • no TV unless they are unwell

Etc.

There should be no TV for a 1 year old especially.

What on earth is she doing while they watch TV? Is she folding laundry or just literally sitting on her backside?

swamptoad · 05/04/2023 08:59

Our nanny used to use the iPad while she ate lunch. We had a no use of 'screens' in her contract but she let them watch the iPad anyway.
When I eventually ended up wfh I saw it was a bit unfair to expect no tv when her lunch break was effectively her trying to shove food in while dc was still taking her full attention so I relented on the screens ban!

NannyR · 05/04/2023 09:00

I work as a nanny and although I am quite strict about screen time, I do let them have 20-30 mins of a good quality tv programme after lunch - it gives me time to sit down with a coffee (my only "break" in 11 hours), I think in small doses, it's a valuable activity for children when balanced with lots of other activities. The tv is never constantly on in the background though and I don't let under threes watch it (this isn't so easy when you have older siblings though!)

Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 09:01

SkyandSurf · 05/04/2023 08:49

I've had a few Nannies and the trick is to be really clear from the outset what your expectations are.

I would write a list of instructions with their schedule, and then at the bottom I have a section 'things that are important to us' and it has things like

  • wear hats and sunscreen outside
  • don't fill them up on bread etc - we want them to eat lots of vegetables and fruit
  • no TV unless they are unwell

Etc.

There should be no TV for a 1 year old especially.

What on earth is she doing while they watch TV? Is she folding laundry or just literally sitting on her backside?

Thank you. I will make a list like this for her.

The one year old thankfully just doesn't care about the TV.

The nanny watches the kids while the 3 year old watches tV and the 1 year old does the usual 1 year old stuff, so does need to be supervised at all times really.

OP posts:
Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 09:03

swamptoad · 05/04/2023 08:59

Our nanny used to use the iPad while she ate lunch. We had a no use of 'screens' in her contract but she let them watch the iPad anyway.
When I eventually ended up wfh I saw it was a bit unfair to expect no tv when her lunch break was effectively her trying to shove food in while dc was still taking her full attention so I relented on the screens ban!

I definitely don't expect no TV. A balance is what is needed.

My nanny doesn't work 12 hours a day. She's here 8 hours a day, but she needs a break and half an hour for the 3 year old is fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 09:03

Greydogs123 · 05/04/2023 08:44

I think you need to be more explicit in your expectation of tv watching. Tell her that you would like the children to only have tv for one or two programmes and that’s it. If you don’t set this expectation now then she’s going to just be in a habit and won’t bother finding other things to do. Is she trained in childcare? What sort of hours will she be doing solo?

She's trained in child care. Has come form a nursery/ preschool setting.

OP posts:
Sherrystrull · 05/04/2023 09:07

How much tv do you allow your children to have when you are looking after them alone?

Wishawisha · 05/04/2023 09:08

Definitely don’t just let things lie now and expect them to change when you are out more. She needs to know what you expect of her and it would be pretty weird to allow a lot of TV now but not from next month.

I agree with a lot of PP. If they’ve been playing in the garden or park for ages and are a bit knackered - bit of TV. If the nanny is tidying up or needs to go and put them 1 year old down for a nap - TV. But not just as a general matter of course during the day.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/04/2023 09:35

Some of the replies 😂

Nannies work long days, and if you're unable to make it though without a little screen time then you shouldn't expect her to. She's a person, not a robot.

I'm a nanny, and with napping children that's when I took my break.

With school-aged/non-napping children, it would range from a couple of episodes of a show to a film.

Don't forget that many nannies also have other duties like laundry, tidying etc, and we're still expected to do these duties with extra children around.

I had a 3 yr old 1 month old. I was expected to cook as well. When the 1 yr old went down for a nap, the only way I could cook was to put the 3 yr old in front of a TV, as he was very needy and always wanted me to play with or beside him. He would even follow me around and tug the bottom of my dress or hug my legs.

And to the poster saying 'get creative', how many 3 year olds do you know who could independently do an activity for 40 mins while I prepare a meal? Not only do they constantly ask for help, they have an attention span for about 10 mins. It would take me twice as long to get things done if I attended to every whim and I wouldn't get a break.

Luckily I've never worked for people like some on this post! And have glowing references 😇

NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/04/2023 09:37

Wishawisha · 05/04/2023 09:08

Definitely don’t just let things lie now and expect them to change when you are out more. She needs to know what you expect of her and it would be pretty weird to allow a lot of TV now but not from next month.

I agree with a lot of PP. If they’ve been playing in the garden or park for ages and are a bit knackered - bit of TV. If the nanny is tidying up or needs to go and put them 1 year old down for a nap - TV. But not just as a general matter of course during the day.

Agree with this. Honestly, a bit of TV time has prevented many a meltdown form exhausted children.

Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 09:44

NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/04/2023 09:35

Some of the replies 😂

Nannies work long days, and if you're unable to make it though without a little screen time then you shouldn't expect her to. She's a person, not a robot.

I'm a nanny, and with napping children that's when I took my break.

With school-aged/non-napping children, it would range from a couple of episodes of a show to a film.

Don't forget that many nannies also have other duties like laundry, tidying etc, and we're still expected to do these duties with extra children around.

I had a 3 yr old 1 month old. I was expected to cook as well. When the 1 yr old went down for a nap, the only way I could cook was to put the 3 yr old in front of a TV, as he was very needy and always wanted me to play with or beside him. He would even follow me around and tug the bottom of my dress or hug my legs.

And to the poster saying 'get creative', how many 3 year olds do you know who could independently do an activity for 40 mins while I prepare a meal? Not only do they constantly ask for help, they have an attention span for about 10 mins. It would take me twice as long to get things done if I attended to every whim and I wouldn't get a break.

Luckily I've never worked for people like some on this post! And have glowing references 😇

I think that makes perfect sense. But putting the kids in front of the TV while I'm cooking / doing laundry and tidying up after meals isn't the same and that's what's been happening.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 05/04/2023 09:47

I work as a nanny and although I am quite strict about screen time, I do let them have 20-30 mins of a good quality tv programme after lunch - it gives me time to sit down with a coffee (my only "break" in 11 hours), I think in small doses, it's a valuable activity for children when balanced with lots of other activities. The tv is never constantly on in the background though and I don't let under threes watch it (this isn't so easy when you have older siblings though!)

^ this seems perfectly reasonable to me.

roses2 · 05/04/2023 09:51

If you are paying them the going rate then only for a bit of downtime. Eg whilst the other one is sleeping or whilst the nanny is preparing lunch and tidying up after lunch.

Same with nanny phone usage. Occasional messaging their friends is ok like most people do at work but they shouldn't be sitting there scrolling through their phone half the day.

Disneygirl37 · 05/04/2023 09:59

When I was a childminder, children who didn't nap use to watch about half an hour after lunch. I would usually sit down with them and have my lunch then.

Original poster
yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 10:19

Sherrystrull · 05/04/2023 09:07

How much tv do you allow your children to have when you are looking after them alone?

Why does that matter ?

I try to limit it to an hour a day for my three year old, but sometimes it's a little more when I'm sick or he's sick.

OP posts:
NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/04/2023 10:24

yadayadaa · 05/04/2023 10:19

Why does that matter ?

I try to limit it to an hour a day for my three year old, but sometimes it's a little more when I'm sick or he's sick.

Show quote history

It matters because you shouldn’t expect of someone else something you couldn’t do yourself.

I did a share once with 2 children, and when they became toddlers were very challenging. The parents got together at the weekend for a park trip and we’re shocked at the way they fought with each other 😂 they told me after how much they appreciate how difficult it must be for me, being one adult doing something that they were struggling with as a group of 4.

It’s nice, as a human being, to recognise that another human being may find it tough at times and needs a little break in a long day.

Sherrystrull · 05/04/2023 10:27

I agree with the previous poster.

It matters because that's the amount you're comfortable with in a day. Is the nanny expected to do lots of cleaning and food prep? That's what I used the tv for when the children were little. How else do you expect her to get those jobs done?