Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being treated terribly again

20 replies

coolskoz · 04/04/2023 18:05

I know everyone will comment what did I expect. I'm an idiot - please don't comment that I know

We have three kids together. I knew this was coming. I had a weekend away with my friend down England. He was going out with his friends. His phone that never dies, died at midnight to come back at 5 am. Stayed at his "friends". I've no proof he cheated. I texted drunkly mad saying you've cheated my gut feeling is here and it's always right.

He went mental claiming how could i accuse him etc. (He's done it before).

The day I came home was my birthday. He said we were fine he loved me. Took me and the kids out for my birthday, slept with me and said he'd be back over in a few days. Today said nah you slept with someone else (I knew and I haven't ever cheated) because apparently his d**k felt weird ... he did all those things and said he knew he was done with me.

Back ground is - we lived together years ago but I got out because I wasn't allowed a key to this house. He made me pay his full mortgage. I was well and truly rid of him until he promised he'd changed and fully had. We moved in together for periods of time. But the same cycle as what he did today. Randomly done. Then comes crawling back

came crawling back in januraru and hoenstly I know it's so stupid but I believed every word. Told me I was too good for him, deserved better and he would make it him all he wanted was me and the kids.

Then today said nah you get in the way of his hobby of photography. He's been snapping at me non stop shouting telling me to get to fuck etc cos hee busy. Ended up coming up one day a week because he was so busy but had the time to go out drinking "cos he was stressed and needed to".

I'm honestly really hurt. I'm a real person with feelings. And he changed 100% for a few months then straight back to this.

His reason was I asked daily questions of "do you not want to do this you seem distant" and he would say he was busy. But it's to be expected given the past I would ask this. And I was right!!! Yet he said he wasn't putting up with that shit of me asking these things. I asked if he hid our relationship? If he was seeing other people again? Etc

Please someone just make me see sense

OP posts:
Original poster
coolskoz · 04/04/2023 18:05

I know he's a narcissist and I just got love bombed then dropped again. It's just so horrible and I don't know how to heal from this

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 04/04/2023 18:07

Three kids, omg

Hawkins003 · 04/04/2023 18:08

Why stay with him long enough to have three kids, surely it's ltb territory

Original poster
coolskoz · 04/04/2023 18:13

@Hawkins003 i can see now and have done for the past two months it's narcissistic abuse and I've been under his spell believing everything he says and that I'm the problem when I didn't do anything to be the problem

OP posts:
Valid8me · 04/04/2023 18:14

You accused him of cheating because his phone died? And then he accused you of cheating because his dick felt weird??

What the hell are you together for, just do yourself a favour and get rid of this loser, for good!

GlassBunion · 04/04/2023 18:15

Truth?

It sounds like you'll never be rid of him and he'll screw you over again and again.

It's entirely up to you.

Get rid once and for all or continue in this cycle of propping him up and being fucked over.

BusterGonad · 04/04/2023 18:16

I'm gobsmacked.

Hankunamatata · 04/04/2023 18:18

Its not a healthy relationship. You both need to move on

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2023 18:19

It all sounds highly dysfunctional and absolutely exhausting and yet you have had three children with him?

You know what you have to do already, right?

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 04/04/2023 18:23

What are you asking here? No one is going to tell you he’s worth trying again for.

Where are your children whilst he’s swearing at you? How old are they? How confusing for them to have Mum locked out of their home, then have to live separately and then have Dad visit and sometimes live there.

Toottooot · 04/04/2023 18:24

Have another kid - maybe that’ll help

Maggie178 · 04/04/2023 18:47

You are worth more than this!

Merryoldgoat · 04/04/2023 19:09

Sweet Jesus.

sgtmajormum · 04/04/2023 19:34

You know this isn't a healthy relationship. You need to see that this behaviour will continue until unless you make a change.
End it with him as he will not change. Look at the freedom programme to give yourself a better perspective.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/04/2023 19:43

Not sure what to say tbh.

Endlesssummer2022 · 04/04/2023 19:52

The fact you have three kids with him and still aren’t sure what to do tells me you will never leave him and will spend the rest of your life living a half life.

Hopefully the kids have their heads screwed on so they don’t repeat the pattern.

Pottedpalm · 04/04/2023 19:55

Toottooot · 04/04/2023 18:24

Have another kid - maybe that’ll help

😂

choccytime · 04/04/2023 20:28

Sorry ,what

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 04/04/2023 20:51

I’m so sorry he can’t be the man you deserve. He’s too selfish. He knows he can talk you round as you still believe in him.

You know you deserve better OP and only you can change that.

I hope you find your strength to do what you need to. Sending hugs 💐

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 04/04/2023 21:46

His dick felt weird is code for when he tests positive for some sort of STI he can blame it on you.

Get rid.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page