To tighten DD's car seat straps!?

N467 · 2023-04-04T16:11:18+00:00

So maybe I'm completely crazy but a family member just saw me putting my DD in the car and pulling the straps to tighten them as they were loose. She wasn't pinned to the seat and restricting blood flow, just the normal amount you would tighten the straps?? Family member who occasionally has DD and has a similar car seat for her says I always leave them nice and loose. I'm baffled and say well the car seat is there for safety what use is it if the straps are on loosely? Am I the crazy one? Maybe I should just do away with the car seat altogether and just stick her in the boot. DD is 3 btw.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 04/04/2023 17:42

They should always be tightened

Desperatelywantinganother · 04/04/2023 17:43

Your family member is not good at physics.

Hummusanddipdip · 04/04/2023 17:44

They should be tightened. What's the point in them even being used if the child isn't secured properly?

I totally agree with putting dd in the boot though, been tempted to strap ds(3) to the roof with his attitude lately 🤣

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 04/04/2023 17:49

I wouldn’t be letting her have DD again until I was sure she would use car seat properly. You’re lucky they’ve never been in an accident

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 08:43

Is your family member older? The car seats that were around 30 years ago, you couldn't easily tighten as they didn't have the pull strap at the bottom as we have today. So it was normal to leave them a lot looser as you wouldn't be able to get the child's arms in if they were snug.

These days we know that the tightness of the straps is an important factor in the car seat working as intended, especially if the child is forward facing, that's why systems were invented that make it easy to tighten and loosen straps each time. Both the straps should be snug to the body, and the car seat itself should be fitted tightly to the car (whether belt fitted or isofix). In a car crash the seat and child will be flung forward, so loose straps and loose fitting mean they travel further before being stopped. That's dangerous and can lead to worse injuries, even hitting their head on the front seat.

There are lots of resources explaining how tight car seat straps need to be, your car seat manual probably explains this as well, but a good rule of thumb is imagine dangling the seat upside down, would you be happy the straps would hold? This is the kind of force that would be exerted in an accident. You wouldn't accept a loose safety harness for something like climbing, so don't accept it for car safety :)

Magenta82 · 09/04/2023 09:57

I wouldn't let my child be driven by this person

Singerleon · 09/04/2023 10:11

I’d make this person watch car safety videos to see the consequences of the loose straps in an accident. If this didn’t change their view then I’d never let them drive my child again.
I know a family where the grandparent didn’t secure a child properly and sadly the child died in a car accident. It was only ‘a 5 minute trip’ and lives ruined.

Newname221 · 09/04/2023 10:15

That person wouldn’t have my child again.

Whenever someone is taking my child in their car for the first time, I demonstrate how to use the particular seat, including g showing how tight the straps go; pulling straps together so they sit up on their shoulders properly, and make sure they understand the “no jacket” rule.

My eldest child also knows how her brothers car seat should look and has been known to correct people about how it should be, but obviously this only works if you have an older child.

CiaoBellisima · 09/04/2023 10:16

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 08:43

Is your family member older? The car seats that were around 30 years ago, you couldn't easily tighten as they didn't have the pull strap at the bottom as we have today. So it was normal to leave them a lot looser as you wouldn't be able to get the child's arms in if they were snug.

These days we know that the tightness of the straps is an important factor in the car seat working as intended, especially if the child is forward facing, that's why systems were invented that make it easy to tighten and loosen straps each time. Both the straps should be snug to the body, and the car seat itself should be fitted tightly to the car (whether belt fitted or isofix). In a car crash the seat and child will be flung forward, so loose straps and loose fitting mean they travel further before being stopped. That's dangerous and can lead to worse injuries, even hitting their head on the front seat.

There are lots of resources explaining how tight car seat straps need to be, your car seat manual probably explains this as well, but a good rule of thumb is imagine dangling the seat upside down, would you be happy the straps would hold? This is the kind of force that would be exerted in an accident. You wouldn't accept a loose safety harness for something like climbing, so don't accept it for car safety :)

No, it wasn’t normal to leave the straps loose 30 years ago.

TheGoogleMum · 09/04/2023 10:28

Straps should be tight otherwise they won't hold the kid in place in the event of an accident

Yesthatismychildsigh · 09/04/2023 10:30

I’d be stopping them having her if they’re unconcerned about basic safety.

boboshmobo · 09/04/2023 10:39

I've never seen any of my friends have their kids strapped in properly ! They always have travel in their straps whereas my kids were strapped in tightly ..it's shocking how thick some people are and won't be 'cruel to be kind '

The car seat literally won't work if they are loose .

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 17:23

Not totally loose, Ciao, but for example, this is me in about 1992. This would be considered too loose in the car seats of today, you can see a lot of slack on the strap on the right side of the photo and between my legs.

This was fine for the car seats of the time, because you would have had to take the seatbelt out and go to the back of the seat to adjust the straps, you couldn't easily do it for every journey like you can today. If you had the straps as tight as we have them today, you wouldn't be able to get them on. I couldn't get my children's straps on without loosening them.

So all I mean is that if the family member is older, they may have a different understanding of how tight car seat straps are supposed to be.

Hamster1111 · 09/04/2023 17:46

You're correct. They should be tight. No bloody point if they are not tightened and there is accident. I see this with little tiny babies too, where the straps are so loose that if there was an accident the baby runs the risk of falling out of the seat. The straps are not magical force fields, they're a restraint.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/04/2023 17:48

You need to get the family member to show you how she let's your dd travel in her car. It sounds so unsafe that it would be the last time!

Yesthatismychildsigh · 09/04/2023 17:53

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 17:23

Not totally loose, Ciao, but for example, this is me in about 1992. This would be considered too loose in the car seats of today, you can see a lot of slack on the strap on the right side of the photo and between my legs.

This was fine for the car seats of the time, because you would have had to take the seatbelt out and go to the back of the seat to adjust the straps, you couldn't easily do it for every journey like you can today. If you had the straps as tight as we have them today, you wouldn't be able to get them on. I couldn't get my children's straps on without loosening them.

So all I mean is that if the family member is older, they may have a different understanding of how tight car seat straps are supposed to be.

I had mine between 89 and 95. None of them ever had their straps that loose.

CiaoBellisima · 09/04/2023 17:59

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 17:23

Not totally loose, Ciao, but for example, this is me in about 1992. This would be considered too loose in the car seats of today, you can see a lot of slack on the strap on the right side of the photo and between my legs.

This was fine for the car seats of the time, because you would have had to take the seatbelt out and go to the back of the seat to adjust the straps, you couldn't easily do it for every journey like you can today. If you had the straps as tight as we have them today, you wouldn't be able to get them on. I couldn't get my children's straps on without loosening them.

So all I mean is that if the family member is older, they may have a different understanding of how tight car seat straps are supposed to be.

My DC is a similar age to you. We were taught you should just be able to get two fingers under the straps.

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 19:01

Maybe you all had newer car seats than my parents then and my advice is actually from the 80s!

In any case all I mean is that in older seats (maybe too old to be relevant in this case) you couldn't tighten it every time, and you can't get a child's arms into the straps if they're totally snug as per guidelines. So there was a point in time in the past where it wasn't considered normal to have them as tight as you should have them now.

It's obviously never been okay to have them totally loose as it wouldn't work to restrain the child in a crash.

Newuser82 · 09/04/2023 20:52

Oh my goodness this actually makes me feel sick. You are totally right. They are meant to be pulled tight.

HappyintheHills · 09/04/2023 21:01

BertieBotts · 09/04/2023 19:01

Maybe you all had newer car seats than my parents then and my advice is actually from the 80s!

In any case all I mean is that in older seats (maybe too old to be relevant in this case) you couldn't tighten it every time, and you can't get a child's arms into the straps if they're totally snug as per guidelines. So there was a point in time in the past where it wasn't considered normal to have them as tight as you should have them now.

It's obviously never been okay to have them totally loose as it wouldn't work to restrain the child in a crash.

I’m over 60, our 5 point belts allowed no movement
With my DC late 80s to mid 90s we were told 2 fingers and could adjust