To think this wouldn’t happen if I was a man?

[FlossMosss]

Don’t know if I’m in a foul mood today or if this isn’t actually ok?

slow draining in bathroom downstairs. It’s happened before, paid 200 to sort it, job done. The last guy said to call again if any signs of slow draining so it doesn’t worsen. The drains are shallow here. It began slow draining again over the weekend, so someone came out this morning. I explain to the guy it’s slow draining, he immediately said it might not be a drain problem but a problem with the plug hole. He knew someone had been out previously with the bigger issue they had to fix so frankly I found this patronising as fuck.

He then said he had to come in and turn the taps on. This didn’t happen last time (is that usual?!). He then told me that they were draining fine. I said that the problem is when the bath is used or the shower for a longer period and reiterated that there was a problem and we were happy to pay to look at the manholes. He then said there wasn’t an issue and there was nothing he could do and to try checking the plug holes. He left, I called the company, they were astonished he hadn’t gone into the manholes and he was asked to come back. He came back fifteen mins later, this time checked the manholes and agreed there was a blockage (no apology of course). He said he would try and fix it, and I said if you need anything just knock and I may be a couple of minutes as I have a baby. Next thing I know he’s in the house ?! No knocking just came into the house and into the downstairs bathroom turning taps on again. I shouted hello and he said it’s only me, then disappeared outside again. What the fuck?

Am I being unfair here or is he a total arsehole?

It’s not a man woman thing, some tradesmen are like that. It’s be had similar experiences.

Not unusual for tradespeople to "diagnose" the problem that needs least effort on their part to fix.

Not unusual for tradespeople to walk in and out the house if they are working there without knocking.

DH has had many occurrence of both of the above, so it really isn't a man/woman thing.

If anything we've found that tradespeople are more likely to take the piss with DH - he finds it hard to question that another man might be wrong, even if it's demonstrably so. Whereas I won't let anything go.

I don’t see what the issue is. The plumber knew a drainage problem had been recently fixed, so it seems logical to think it was a different problem (plug hole) this time. Running taps to see the drainage for yourself is perfectly normal for them to do. You sound quite hostile so not surprised he decided to not check manholes and just get out of your house. I don’t understand why you’re upset he came into the house to run the taps again…he’s a plumber trying to fix your issue. Why should he knock on the front door when in the middle of a repair? He should be able to come in and out as he needs to since you’ve already let him in initially and given permission to work on your plumbing. I’d he’d gone to his van for a tool or piping, would you require him to knock and be let in every time?

@redskylight I misread that as '...tradespeople are more likely to take a piss with DH...' and I was about to get questiony about your husband's personal boundaries.

Then I put my glasses back on

Coming in and out of your house is perfectly normal.
Running the taps to see what happens is also perfectly normal.
The only possible abnormal is not checking the drains, but as a PP has said, if he knew they had recently been checked he probably thought it was worth checking other options first. He shouldn't have left without making sure the problem was fixed though.

Yeah, I'm a bloke and I've had people who think they know better and also had people wander into my house without knocking. I locked the door on them after that and they bloody well had to knock.

But why?! You've already let them in once, you know what they're doing and they won't be able to do their job if you don't let them in again. Why lock them out and make them knock? That seems very petty to me.

Me too. They only have x amount of time per call/job and having to beg for entry every time is petty and such a time waster.

We bought an older house about 5 years ago so have had a lot of tradesmen over the years. Totally normal for them to be in and out of the house, once they knock the first time and let me know they're there then I wouldn't bat an eyelid at them popping in an out as needed.

Because it my house and if they want to come into it to check something then they can let me know so I can be with them. Its not at all petty. Why the hell should the first I know about someone being in my house be when I bump into them in my kitchen?

I also have a wife and girls who wander around in various states and who wouldn't appreciate some bloke wandering in unannounced.

Last time it happened, a guy was checking an external gas problem in the street. He then wandered in as he "wanted to check my boiler". If he wants to do that, he bloody well asks me and I will be there with him. It protects him as well because I could otherwise accuse him of theft or damage.

Was there any need to insult me personally? I thought that was against Mumsnet's T&C's or do you just not give a fuck about who you do not upset so long as you get to make your point? You don't know me nor my situation, so you've no right to judge me.

If you actually read my message you would see that they were fixing something in the street. They had advised me that they would be doing this. They did not at any point advise me that they would be needing access to my house.

If it was something they were fixing in my house I would be with them and I would make sure the rest of the family were aware.

Are you done with the put downs now?

I think it is just a tradesmen thing. Some are like that and don't realise how rude it is.

I always leave the door on the latch and tell tradesman to come and go as they need, just shout when they are done. Can't be doing with letting them in and out every time they need to get something from their van or check something indoors.