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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex attempting to be friendly

4 replies

teomama · 04/04/2023 08:04

Hi, my old flame and I parted ways six years ago. It was somewhat of a toxic relationship where he claimed I was the best, he had strong feelings etc but couldn’t commit to me. We’ve had multiple breakups, on and offs and it got very messy and painful in the end. Needless to say, we didn’t remain friends although we have some friends in common (went to the same uni). In this six years, I’ve seen him couple of times on birthday parties of uni friends and we’ve been civil and polite to each other. We’re both in happy and committed long-term relationship. This weekend he started texting again - asking me if I’d like to join him and a few friends for some drinks. Then he carried on with a small talk about politics, cost of living etc. He’s totally friendly and non- offensive, but given our history, I see a red flag here. I responded to his text (rejected the drinks as I had different plans but thanked him for the invitation). I wonder what would prompt him to suddenly become so friendly?

YABU - he’s just polite
YANBU - he’s on to something

I love my partner and I wouldn’t cross any lines here, he has my whole heart and my loyalty. But of course, I’m curious what prompted the toxic ex this way again.

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 04/04/2023 08:06

Don't waste time trying to figure out a cunt. Just block.
Job done.

Eeksilon · 04/04/2023 08:10

Initial response is he's up to something but on further thought, assuming the pain and heartache was mostly down to him, is it a possibility he might be feeling bad about it and somehow wants to redress the balance..?

This is something that happened to me: I treated an ex atrociously and years down the line wanted to get back in touch and try to apologise and re-establish a friendship, as I realised I didn't want to lose touch with someone who had actually been one of my best friends...

Could be either IMO but obviously how you respond is down to you 🤷🏼‍♀️

LemonDrizzle10 · 04/04/2023 08:10

I’d avoid him like the plague.

Eeksilon · 04/04/2023 08:12

To add, in your position I would just ask him what's prompted the contact!

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