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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something to the restaurant

22 replies

username210574 · 03/04/2023 17:28

Went to a restaurant, stated a dairy allergy as I EBF and DC has CMPA but did explain the situation that the allergy wasn't directly mine. I ordered a sandwich that on the menu came with cheese, but as such was not listed as "dairy free" on their app. I requested no cheese, again explaining the allergy situation.

The sandwich (grilled chicken) arrived and as I was eating it I noticed there were small bits of melted cheese on the edges - it was clear the cheese had just been peeled off rather than a piece of chicken cooked without adding cheese.

I know the dish wasn't listed as dairy free, but given the only dairy ingredient was the cheese, AIBU to say something (not asking for a refund, just making a point)?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/04/2023 17:30

I hope you complained on the spot. And asked for a refund.

If you didn't, there's no point going back to them now.

MintMa · 03/04/2023 17:31

I'd massively complain. And not pay for it. I can't eat cheese, even tiny bits would make me vomit 🤢

Original poster
username210574 · 03/04/2023 17:32

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/04/2023 17:30

I hope you complained on the spot. And asked for a refund.

If you didn't, there's no point going back to them now.

I did say something, and was just told that I had ordered something that wasn't listed as allergen free so it was my risk/responsibility.

OP posts:
CC4712 · 03/04/2023 17:34

They should have explained that there might be cheese residue in the sandwich and not being made fresh! The next person might have needed adrenaline and not been so lucky!

Viviennemary · 03/04/2023 17:36

No I don't think the restaurant did anything wrong. You should have ordered a dish marked allergy free. Why order a dish that was the thing you were allergic too. Glad I am not a restaurant owner these days.

Rainbowshit · 03/04/2023 17:39

That's outrageous. If you notified them that you needed it to be cheese free for allergy reasons then it was their responsibility to make sure it was.

That could have killed my DS.

I would definitely complain. You could save someone's life.

Rainbowshit · 03/04/2023 17:41

And they are absolutely wrong that it's your risk/responsibility. It's absolutely their responsibility.

Technonan · 03/04/2023 17:43

These things are often made up in advance. Order something from the allergy-free menu next time to be safe. The restaurant probably should have said that tehy couldn't guarantee it was dairy-free, but they do have a point that you didn't order from the allergy-free menu.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 03/04/2023 17:46

@Technonan they should have told the OP that it was made in advance and wasn't able to be ammended then.

Thehonestbadger · 03/04/2023 18:07

Technonan · 03/04/2023 17:43

These things are often made up in advance. Order something from the allergy-free menu next time to be safe. The restaurant probably should have said that tehy couldn't guarantee it was dairy-free, but they do have a point that you didn't order from the allergy-free menu.

They do not have a point at all and I can assure you of that from both my legal and hospitality backgrounds. Allergies can be life threatening and there is mandatory training and regulations in place because of that. You are well within your rights to request an item that is not explicitly marked allergy safe. They are equally entitled to refuse or warn you. If they tell you they can remove an Ingredient to suit your allergy they are verbally assuring you that product is now suitable for your allergy.

Scenario 1:
Customer: I see X item isn’t listed as dairy allergy safe but would it be possible to remove the cheese so I could have it dairy free?
Server: Yeah no problem
customer: THERES CHEESE ON THIS SANDWICH
Server: Well it wasn’t listed allergy safe

^ this example is 100% the eatery’s fault and fully their liability. Allergies can be life threatening and all staff have to receive allergy training. No contributory negligence on the part of the customer here at all.

Scenario 2:
Customer: I see X item isn’t listed as dairy allergy safe but would it be possible to remove the cheese so I could have it dairy free?
Server: Let me check that with the kitchen…I checked and they’re happy to do that but it actually comes pre made so there will be cross contamination and potentially some cheese residue.

customer: THERES CHEESE ON THIS SANDWICH
Server: Well it wasn’t listed allergy safe and we did warn you.

^ this is more suited to your comment. It’s a ‘well you did know it wasn’t fully allergy safe’ kinda deal. Customer has chosen to accept the risk with a clear warning. I mean it’s still a bit pants to have obvious lumps of cheese but they did warn them.

AndiOliversFan · 03/04/2023 18:12

Thehonestbadger · 03/04/2023 18:07

They do not have a point at all and I can assure you of that from both my legal and hospitality backgrounds. Allergies can be life threatening and there is mandatory training and regulations in place because of that. You are well within your rights to request an item that is not explicitly marked allergy safe. They are equally entitled to refuse or warn you. If they tell you they can remove an Ingredient to suit your allergy they are verbally assuring you that product is now suitable for your allergy.

Scenario 1:
Customer: I see X item isn’t listed as dairy allergy safe but would it be possible to remove the cheese so I could have it dairy free?
Server: Yeah no problem
customer: THERES CHEESE ON THIS SANDWICH
Server: Well it wasn’t listed allergy safe

^ this example is 100% the eatery’s fault and fully their liability. Allergies can be life threatening and all staff have to receive allergy training. No contributory negligence on the part of the customer here at all.

Scenario 2:
Customer: I see X item isn’t listed as dairy allergy safe but would it be possible to remove the cheese so I could have it dairy free?
Server: Let me check that with the kitchen…I checked and they’re happy to do that but it actually comes pre made so there will be cross contamination and potentially some cheese residue.

customer: THERES CHEESE ON THIS SANDWICH
Server: Well it wasn’t listed allergy safe and we did warn you.

^ this is more suited to your comment. It’s a ‘well you did know it wasn’t fully allergy safe’ kinda deal. Customer has chosen to accept the risk with a clear warning. I mean it’s still a bit pants to have obvious lumps of cheese but they did warn them.

Show quote history

Great post!

Original poster
username210574 · 03/04/2023 18:33

Viviennemary · 03/04/2023 17:36

No I don't think the restaurant did anything wrong. You should have ordered a dish marked allergy free. Why order a dish that was the thing you were allergic too. Glad I am not a restaurant owner these days.

I didn't order a dish I was allergic to. I ordered a dish containing one ingredient that DC is allergic to, which is an ingredient you put on top of other ingredients rather than mixed in, which no issue was made of when I requested it be removed for allergy reasons.

As other posters have said, if I had've been informed that it was premade and not cooked fresh to order (as their menu stated) then I wouldn't have ordered it.

OP posts:
itsthefinalcountdown1 · 03/04/2023 19:00

Regardless of if you shouldn't or should have ordered from the allergen specific bit of the menu, complaining now instead of at the time screams "I want some compo" or something. You should have complained properly at the time if you were going to.

Iam4eels · 03/04/2023 19:08

I would make the restaurant aware as it indicates a training issue with their staff and if they've done it today then it is clearly standard practice in their kitchen. Allergies are a life or death issue and they need to know that they're in the wrong.

Original poster
username210574 · 03/04/2023 19:47

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 03/04/2023 19:00

Regardless of if you shouldn't or should have ordered from the allergen specific bit of the menu, complaining now instead of at the time screams "I want some compo" or something. You should have complained properly at the time if you were going to.

Another poster who didn't really read what I wrote in the OP...?

AIBU to say something (not asking for a refund, just making a point)?

I didn't want a refund (or "compensation"). I was asking if it was unreasonable to highlight that despite asking for no cheese, despite stating that it was for allergy purposes, despite their food being described as "cooked fresh to order" and despite being told it was "no problem"... I was still given something that not only had been cooked with the ingredient (not actually my gripe although this could be dangerous for someone with an actual allergy themselves) but it was still left on there.

OP posts:
thegrain · 03/04/2023 19:50

You need to ignore the fact you aren't allergic it muddies the waters. Just state dairy allergy. Then when it comes to ordering they should be aware of your dairy allergy and when you order something that isn't dairy free remind you it contains dairy.

thegrain · 03/04/2023 19:51

username210574 · 03/04/2023 19:47

Another poster who didn't really read what I wrote in the OP...?

AIBU to say something (not asking for a refund, just making a point)?

I didn't want a refund (or "compensation"). I was asking if it was unreasonable to highlight that despite asking for no cheese, despite stating that it was for allergy purposes, despite their food being described as "cooked fresh to order" and despite being told it was "no problem"... I was still given something that not only had been cooked with the ingredient (not actually my gripe although this could be dangerous for someone with an actual allergy themselves) but it was still left on there.

Show quote history

Yes did you complain about this at the time? That was the time to address it

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 03/04/2023 21:46

username210574 · 03/04/2023 19:47

Another poster who didn't really read what I wrote in the OP...?

AIBU to say something (not asking for a refund, just making a point)?

I didn't want a refund (or "compensation"). I was asking if it was unreasonable to highlight that despite asking for no cheese, despite stating that it was for allergy purposes, despite their food being described as "cooked fresh to order" and despite being told it was "no problem"... I was still given something that not only had been cooked with the ingredient (not actually my gripe although this could be dangerous for someone with an actual allergy themselves) but it was still left on there.

Show quote history

I did read your OP and the full thread. I'm saying how it looks to complain afterwards. You should have been more bothered at the time? Also ordering from the allergen menu in future is the only safe option when eating out at most places unfortunately, unless it's a proper restaurant where food is cooked from scratch and even then I'd be wary.

Morechocmorechoc · 03/04/2023 21:56

You should have made a huge deal out of it when you noticed. They knew your allergy, it's a sandwich, it's not hard to make it dairy free. Their laziness is what could get someone killed. We have severe allergies and eating disorders and have to order from regular menus. We explain the severity and trust they make the food appropriately. If they couldn't do that they should have told you upon ordering, not afterward. Morons.

Rainbowshit · 03/04/2023 22:17

Technonan · 03/04/2023 17:43

These things are often made up in advance. Order something from the allergy-free menu next time to be safe. The restaurant probably should have said that tehy couldn't guarantee it was dairy-free, but they do have a point that you didn't order from the allergy-free menu.

I have two children with multiple severe allergies. we eat out a lot. I've never come across such a thing as an allergy free menu.

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 05/04/2023 20:19

Rainbowshit · 03/04/2023 22:17

I have two children with multiple severe allergies. we eat out a lot. I've never come across such a thing as an allergy free menu.

Show quote history

You've NEVER seen something marked gluten free/dairy free/etc with a symbol on a menu? 🤨

Iam4eels · 05/04/2023 20:35

Items on a menu are not the same thing as an allergy free menu and in a kitchen that also serves allergens there is always a risk of cross contamination.

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